DISNEYLAND INFORMATION GUIDE

Photo © by Karl Buiter / Pirate Logo © Disney

We'd wondered here on the site if the Pirates event at Disneyland Saturday May 20th was going to be problematic, but no one expected just how badly it would all turn out.

Here's the second part of Sue Kruse's report on this event - CLICK HERE for part one:

When last I left you, I had just walked back into my overpriced hotel room to find no maid service had been delivered. It crossed my mind at that point that I should have listened to my friend Mary who advised me to stay where she always does, The Desert Inn and Suites. She had planned to stay there for this event and was quoted the rate of $69 for a king-sized bed and Jacuzzi tub. I bet she would have gotten clean towels and had her beds made too. I also doubt they charge guests $10 a night to use their parking lot like the Disneyland Hotel does (which I find completely incredible--charging a hotel guest to park their car).

I’ll think twice before I book a room at a Disneyland Hotel again. It wasn’t that the room was terrible. It was nice. Check-in went smoothly and when I requested a room overlooking California Adventure [DCA], the cast member who helped me, gladly complied with my request. She even threw in one of the sand buckets they hand out to the little kiddies. But, for less money--$90 a day less money to be exact, I could have had an equally nice room, not been charged to park my car, had my beds made, gotten fresh towels, and been a short walk from the entrance to the park (thus avoiding endless waits for trams plus a too long walk around fences from the tram stop to the hotel doors). I guess I would not be complaining, if only my room had been made up when I arrived back after my day of Disney Merchandising Boot Camp. That just irritated me so.

At that point in time though, I was too tired and drained of almost all life force to do anything about it. I honestly felt like they could just take everything I have, but get me a bubble bath and then leave me completely alone. I filled the tub with water and lovely orange cinnamon bath bubbles from France that I got in February on my last trip to WDW. It was luxurious. It was soothing.

I arrived at the Fantasyland Theatre around 5:45. There were already around 50 people there, including my friend who was holding a place in line for me. As we waited, the rest of our party arrived and the queue grew longer and longer. This time, I honestly didn’t mind the long wait. I sat on the ground, chatted with folks around me, shared the information that Maynard had called and told me he was doing the voice of the talking skull (“Oooh, cool, there’s going to be a talking skull and Maynard is the voice? Can’t wait”) and filled out the survey in the packet that was given to event participants. I needed two pages-the skinny little lines they provided for responses were, as so much else this day, inadequate,

Is this a trick question? We’ve all heard tales of what the management types think about Passholders. I lied and checked no.

Another trick question? Would they care what cast members thought either? Well, I’m not a cast member any more. I was honest and checked no.

Anything. I don’t care. As long as it’s not the monument to greed and gross consumerism that this event is.

And on it went without really asking much about how we felt about the actual event. Basically it was a survey to find out what attraction they could exploit next to further fill the Mouse’s coffers. I provided them with a few answers to questions they didn’t ask and told them just what I thought about how the event was being run.

Let’s switch gears here and talk about the Muck- Up- Blue- Plate-Special’s meat. The good part of the sandwich, forget the two pieces of moldy bread surrounding that meat (for now). The reason a lot of us came. Here it is. The moment you’ve been waiting for. Here it is. You know exactly what’s in store. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Fans of all ages.

Oh wait a minute, that’s not right. Wrong attraction (maybe they’ll exploit that one next time). Waiting in line all day knocked my brain out of kilter and I forgot where I was for a moment. Yes, where were we? Ahem, Ladies and Gentlemen, fans of all ages, Disneyland proudly presents,

My friends and I got terrific seats up front with little or no view obstruction. Then we waited. Again, not a big deal, no complaints about the long wait. I enjoyed taking pictures and talking with friends. I chatted with Maynard, who was much in demand with everyone. I munched on a cookie with the Pirates logo. I looked in vane for a glass of water. At the buffet table set up near me, there was coffee-decaf and regular (don’t drink coffee), punch (too sweet), and tea bags (my beverage of choice) but no hot water. Some hot water would have been real nice. Some cold water would have been nice too. Not at my table. To be fair, I was told the next day that water was eventually brought out. I just didn’t see it.

A farmer-type gent in overalls and straw hat meandered though the back of the crowd up to the stage and took a seat on a rocking chair near the left edge of the stage. Somewhere off in the distance, a banjo gently strummed Camp Town Ladies while crickets chirped, owls hooted, and frogs croaked. He rocked for quite a while, puffed on his pipe and tapped his fingers against his knee.

It was suddenly evident that a squall was coming. Thunder crashed, lightening flashed, and the overall-clad gent ran for cover. The gigantic pirate skull suspended over the stage began to speak;

Maynard did a terrific job as the talking skull. Which then pulled up from the stage and the curtains opened to reveal ship’s rigging, chairs fit for any pirate, skeletons, and various other appropriate set decorations. Cynthia Harriss’ image appeared on the screen that hung overhead. She chatted about the regret she felt over not being able to attend the event (I bet). Then the camera pulled back from her to reveal that she was locked inside the jail with the pirates and was trying to coax that dog into handing over the key. Nice touch. The crowd loved it.

Pirates took the stage. The one who was clearly in charge of this band of scalawags was dressed like the captain in the ship battle scene (complete with ribbons in his braided beard). At this point they began to drag their bounty (the panelists who were roped together-do you suppose they had just come from a round of Minnie’s Moonlit Madness?) on stage while the pirate with the big black hat (who bore a striking resemblance to the overall-clad farmer) introduced each distinguished participant, Kim Irvine, Bob Baranick, Harriet Burns, Sam McKim, X. Atencio, and last, but certainly not least, Alice Davis.

The pirates sang a bit (yo ho and all that), seemed to forget some of the words to the song but winged it anyway. It wasn’t magical the way the Grim Grinning Ghosts were at the Haunted Mansion Event. During the show they even tossed in a nice bit with a silhouette of two pirates fighting and the pirate chasing the girl (who on the second round pc’d the scene by picking up a tray of food-which got a good laugh). I’m not sure why, with elements like that and the talking skull, it wasn’t magical, but it wasn’t. I take that back. I know why. Everyone was so numbed with exhaustion after all that stupid and unnecessary standing in line for merchandise, that we were all too tired to truly appreciate what we were there for.

I’m sure it also had something to do with the fact that the budget for the show got a radical slashing, providing the performers with very little rehearsal time, and the lighting tech being forced to set up the lights at 3AM that morning with no one on stage to set lights to. He had to just go by the script and hope for the best. He wasn’t real happy about that. They never got a run through with all the elements in place. Real nice huh? Great way to treat your performers and tech crew. It’s a good thing they were people who are good at what they do or the performance would have been a real mess. It wasn’t. It was entertaining.

Those of you in attendance may have recognized some of The Billies as Pirate musicians and a member of The Laughing Stock as the old gent and a main pirate. Hats off to them all. They did a terrific job. Wouldn’t it be grand to see what they’d do with a real rehearsal?

As it always is at these affairs, once the panel was seated and began to tell stories, it was terrifically interesting. Alice Davis was my absolute favorite. She seems like a wonderful person.

Tim O’Day moderated the panel (after the pirates removed the handcuffs they had him locked up in). He threw out questions and sometimes there would be a big pause because no one quite knew who should answer. Kim Irvine didn’t get to talk much. If I remember correctly, Tim O’Day mentioned that her mother was Leota Toombs. It would have been nice to hear a Leota Toombs story from Kim. Bob Baranick told a bit about the last Pirate Rehab and how it really didn’t have anything to do with political correctness and that some of the new figures came from WDW’s World Of Motion.

Alice Davis and Sam McKim told my favorite stories. Alice was in charge of costuming all the pirates. She worked from her husband’s (Marc Davis) sketches. She decided that the accountants had no idea how much fabric it takes to make a shirt, so when she submitted costs, she figured in for two of everything. She then made duplicates of every costume and squirreled away the second set so no one would know. Shortly after the ride opened, there was a fire and some of the costumes were irretrievably destroyed. Alice said, “You haven’t seen anything so terrible as Pirate flesh melted to their costumes.” In a panic, they went to Alice, “How soon can you get another set of costumes made?” She calmly walked to her closet, opened the doors and revealed another complete set. Pirates was back up and running in a matter of hours. Alice drolly added, “Now they make three of everything.”

Alice also shared how difficult it was to costume some of the figures in the ride. I’m sure you can imagine that making pants for a figure whose knees are bolted to the floor would be a bit of a challenge. Or how about that red head, the gal everyone wants? She has nothing below her cleavage. It’s just a two-inch tube. Alice had to engineer a corset to make the red head look like the curvaceous wench she really is. And then, there’s the pirate who bends down and picks up stuff. The challenge with this one was how to make his pants full enough to accommodate his inner workings without making him, as Alice put it, look like his has a load in his pants. That comment got a huge laugh.

Sam McKim told the story of how Walt put him in charge of designing the games for Fortune Red’s arcade. He had filled them with prizes that really weren’t up to snuff. Walt saw them and ordered the games to be filled with quality prizes. Sam said Walt was like that, he wanted quality. That elicited a huge round of applause from the crowd.

I really want to interject a comment here about what Walt would think about the quality of this event, but I’ll try and restrain myself.

My favorite Sam McKim story happened after the event. Sunday morning as I was waiting for the Lion King Tram to take me back to the park, an older couple came up looking for a seat. I moved over and the lady thanked me for making room. “You’re welcome, it’s no problem,” I replied. I thought her husband looked familiar. He should have. It was Sam McKim. The gentleman seated in front of our row knew who Sam was and immediately struck up a conversation. I eavesdropped. It was wonderful hearing stories of what it was like working at the Studio. It made me feel a little teary when Sam described what good friends he was with Marc Davis and how much he misses his friend.

The panel discussion ended with the pirates requiring everyone in the theatre to stand and repeat the pirate pledge;

We took a few pictures of the Pirates that were mingling with the crowd and decided to wend our way over to Blue Bayou for some dinner before the Special Ride was scheduled to commence.

Apparently, management can’t. There didn’t seem to be too many guest control cast members around and what few there were, were fighting a losing battle. At that time of the night we had to wade through both the tide of folks watching the fireworks and the crowd of folks waiting to see Fantasmic. It wasn’t a nightmare fantasmic trying to get over to New Orleans Square. It was a nightmare plain and simple and darned near impossible. It was wall to wall, shoulder to shoulder, people from Big Thunder Trail to the Blue Bayou.

We maneuvered through the crowd. My claustrophobic meter went way off the scale and finally we ended up at Blue Bayou where there was very little line and I was happier. With a small wait we were in. We were all so exhausted at that point in time (9:45 PM) that it was a waste to eat there. The service was great, the atmosphere--lovely, but we rushed it a bit more than we should have in anticipation of the Special Ride.

We left to wait in line. Hello? What were the powers that be thinking when they scheduled this event for a night when Fantasmic was being performed? It was chaotic outside. The area was filled with event guests and regular guests. Pirates queue was jammed. The queue for handicapped riders was long. The end of the queue for event guests was, where? We asked a cast member near the steps of the Disney Gallery, he sent us down where the Pirates queue normally starts. The cast members there sent us back up to the bridge. The cast members up there said we needed to go over by Jungle Cruise. I said, what I said is not repeatable here. I left, dragging one friend with me while the rest stayed behind to try and find the queue.

My theory was that I could go pick up my stuff at the Opera House while everyone else waited in line. The flaw in this theory was that nothing was ready at the Opera House. It was now nearly 11PM. Let’s see, they originally told me I could pick up my purchases at 1PM. It was now ten hours after that time.

Since Pirates is the fastest loading ride in the park, the queue moved along at a good clip. In a relatively short time we were up to the loading area. All day long we had to wear a green plastic wristband with three numbers attached. I hated it. It was annoying. It’s too bad they didn’t give us the lanyards like we got at the Toad event. That would have been ever so much nicer. Oh wait. Merchandise was running this show, apparently they were too cheap to spring for a lanyard. We got cheesy wristbands. Okay, I’m not being fair again. I do not know why we were given wristbands, cost is just speculation on my behalf.

There were cast members taking the number one off the wristband. In exchange you got a button with the Pirates Pledge on it. I was told on Sunday that they ran out of these buttons and there were some guests who either had to wait or didn’t get them at all. Hello again? Did the powers that be not remember how many tickets they sold to this event?

Soon we were boarded and sailing off into the bayou. The old gent was rocking on his porch, the Talking Skull chattered away,

Maybe it was just me. Maybe I had expectations that were too high for the Special Ride. I thought it was just another ride. Yes, they had a few live pirates scattered around. Most of them you couldn’t see because the lighting was horrendous. The first one at the bridge was trying his hardest to entertain and he was pretty darned funny, sloshing beverage from his bottle upon us and running to the other side of the bridge as we passed under. He knew one of the riders in our boat though, so maybe he was taking extra care with us. We traveled through all the various parts of the ride and reached the jail scene where we saw Cynthia’s skeleton rotting away inside the jail. Nice touch. Funny too.

Near the end of the ride the entire panel of distinguished guests were seated greeting the riders. I personally thought this was a little weird. They said hi. We said hi. We all stared at each other. It was like they were on display or something. It would have been so much classier to have them greet folks at the end of the ride. Or forget that all together and give them time at the discussion session to take questions from the crowd. I would love to hear the questions a group of diehard fans would pose to these folks. Even more, I would have loved to hear the answers they would have given. I’m sure it would have been as entertaining as my tram ride with Sam McKim.

We stared some more. Then my friend Tina broke the silence, “Hey why don’t you all have pirate hats?” (We were given commemorative paper pirate hats earlier at the Fantasyland Theatre-they’re a cheap but very nifty souvenir)

Tina reached into her bag, “Well, we’ll just fix that.” She grabbed a hat and handed it over to Bob. Everyone started to laugh. Bob opened up the hat leaned over and popped it on Alice Davis’ head. She looked charming. She smiled, a cute little girl embarrassed kind of smile and we all applauded. It was nice.

As we exited the ride, we were asked for our remaining numbers on the wristband. We were given a small white box that held a commemorative box decorated with a cool pirate map. It contained a gold colored key with the date and the event logo embossed on it. Nice.

As we spewed out into the New Orleans Square street, there were a lot of people milling around. I noticed there were still folks in the handicapped line. I was told Sunday (while waiting in yet another line to try yet again to get my purchases) by a lady in a wheelchair, that they made all the handicapped riders wait till everyone else had been on the ride. She was not too happy about that. Apparently they waited a long time.

I finally got back to my hotel room around 1AM. I chose to forget about claiming my purchases when I saw the line. Seventeen hours at Disneyland were enough for me. At that point in time they could have kept everything, I just didn’t care anymore. In retrospect, it was a wise decision to turn in my survey sheet (and get some chocolate gold coins in return) and walk away. Folks were there till 4:30 that morning trying to retrieve their stuff. It was all so disorganized that cast members had no idea where it was or took forever trying to find it. Some folks didn’t get everything they ordered but were charged for it. Some folks got stuff they didn’t order and were not charged for it. It was complete chaos. It was madness. One expects so much more from Disneyland. The Disney suits had to shuttle people in vans to their cars and hotels.

Sunday, I went back to the park naively thinking I would have breakfast, get my purchases and go home. I didn’t get home till 6PM. I tried all day to get my stuff. A cast member in a suit tried to tell me I could leave and they’d ship everything to me. I said, “Honey, you can’t even find my stuff now. I don’t trust you to ship it to me. I’ll wait.” He looked worn out. I felt sorry for him. The cast member taking people’s receipts looked harried and worn out too. I just wanted to give them all hugs and tell them to hang in there. My friend Tina did just that. She grabbed the girl behind the counter gave her a big hug and said, “You need this.”

My friend in the watch shop said that the scene backstage was so horrific, it was like mass carnage with plastic trash bags filled with expensive stuff heaped everywhere and no real organization to anything.

Did I ever get my stuff? Yes, I did. After six attempts, I finally was successful. I had complete empathy for all the poor cast members working the front lines of this thing. They took a lot of abuse and they did not deserve it. The managers should be ashamed that they put their people through this. Disneyland should be ashamed that they put their guests through this.

It is my hope that all the complaints they are going to have heaped on them do not cause Disneyland to quit throwing these shindigs. They can do it right. They have done it right. For whatever reasons, this time, they really dropped the ball. By they, I mean Merchandising. The complaints and requests for refunds should be a wake up call, not a cancellation call.

From the lighting guy who tried to light a theatre at 3 in the morning, to the performers with no rehearsal, to the cast members from other division who worked the front lines and got nothing, on down to the girl who tried to find my package, your efforts saved this mess from being a complete disaster. I want you to know that it did not go unnoticed.

Now CONTINUE on for a photo / video essay, bet you never saw the park like this...


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