[baffled] "You know, I keep looking it up over and over again, but I can
never find out what the word 'Imagineering' means. I keep looking in this purple book and
nowhere is it explained."
"Aren't those the guys that paint all the trashcans?"
[nervously] "So do you think, like, Michael will like, um, pull the
[snippily] "He should, do you have any idea how much damn LM stuff I have
sitting in that warehouse back there?"
[calmly] "Now be nice Ann - Mike was going for something new and
[sharply] "Yeah, something new and different that the DL visitor has never
seen before... like a BAD show. Good one Mike, I can't even give away the LM light up
pens. Do you have any idea how many damn confetti wands I'm sitting on, DO YOU??? Thank
God for my glow swords and roses. I have personally saved the day here
thank-you-very-much. You guys would all be out there starving to death if it weren't for
[admonishing] "Back off Ann - you're sitting on a lot of other junk too.
Don't forget that little discount shop of yours that you've saddled me with at the Hotel,
sheesh, what were you thinking with Poca and then Hunch? If you want to expand into
discounting go work for the 99 cent store for goodness sakes."
[Intercom buzzes, Paul picks up]
"Paul, M.E. is on the way in, the BMW just pulled into the lot."
"Thanks. [then speaking to the group] Now everyone look neat and
[disgusted] "Oh shut up Paul, you've been reading that damn book too
[now calmer as the sedation kicks in, begins mumbling to himself] "What if
like, um, they send me to DL Paris? That might not be so bad you know... they love Jerry
Lewis, they'll swoon over Light Magic..."
[sarcastically] "Where they should send you is brilliantly depicted at the
end of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride..."
[pointing finger] "How would you know Ann, you've never even set foot in the
[snootily] "I read it in some e-mail from an Internet idiot. Why would I
ever want to go into the park anyway - there are too many damn rides and attractions
getting in the way of my glow sword carts."
[Door with MM shaped handles bursts
open, Eisner walks in and sits on table edge]
[humbly] "Hiya Michael, we're all here like you asked, whassup?"
[casually] "I had an idea last night..."
[almost without realizing what he's saying] "This isn't like that idea you
had when you came home from Riverdance is it? My butt is still chapped on that
[pained] "I told you I was sorry about that - hell, where's Frank Wells when
you need an ear to bounce this kind of junk off of."
[Michael's cell phone rings, he
[face turning blood red] "Tarses did WHAT? I told her I didn't want her
monkeying around with my Baretta Reunion at Disney World movie. I'll call you back,
I've got Light Magic problems [pauses] yeah, it's bad, but I got this great idea [pauses
again] no, no more Riverdance, that must have just been the indigestion from that burrito
the doc told me not to eat. [hangs up cell phone] Sorry about the interruption..."
[enraptured] "So Michael tell us about your new idea."
[glaring at Mike] "Yeah, I need to know what kind of stickers I need to
order to put over the LM logos on all that junk I have in the park."
[misty-eyed] "By the way Ann, with all those glow roses out there you've
brought back so many of my youthful NY memories, I remember all the Puerto Rican kids in
the subway coming home from the prom." [audible sigh...]
[dreamily] "What if Mr. Lincoln held a glow rose in his hand during the
speech he gives..."
[testily] "Who the hell would even see it, no one ever goes in there except
those damn passholders and probably Baptists."
[more dreamily] "Maybe if he fought slavery with a glow sword..."
[business-like] "Maybe if you just focus back on how many more carts I can
get placed out in the park to sell them..."
[almost focused] "Back on track here... [cel phone rings again] Yes? No,
tell the director I want some more pee jokes in that Brendan Fraser movie, I told Mattel
we can skin those Wetten Whizzers and replush them into Wee-Wee Chimps" [hangs up cel
phone] Sorry about that... anyway I got this great idea..."
[Suddenly lights in room dim, and
faintly you hear When you Wish Upon A Star while keylights softly glow on Michael,
even providing a halo type of effect caused by the toupee fringe standing out a wee bit]
"Here's the concept: Fantasmic vs. Light Magic"
[eyes widening] "Wow..."
[quivering with delight] "Goodness, this would make my job easier, now I can
make totally generic nighttime show merchandise and limit it to one type."
[snapping out of stupor] "Hey... I get it, an epic battle of good vs.
[eyes narrowing] "Imagine this - we outfit those damn LM stages with
pontoons and launch them into the river in place of the princesses. They do their jigs or
whatever the heck they call that dancing rabbit stuff."
[gushing] "You're so brilliant Michael, gosh it just makes me want to close
another full service restaurant or favorite attraction to cap it all with!"
[tsk, tsk-ing] "I told you to wait a little longer on the subs now didn't I?
Anyway, once the LM barges roll across the water Ursula and Maleficent and heck, throw in
Cruella, commandeer them just like Sandra Bullock does in Speed 2..."
"You saw that movie? I didn't know anyone went..."
"NO one saw it."
"I did, it seemed like an epic just waiting to happen to me..."
"...shut up, I'm musing here... ...and once they commandeer them Mickey straddles the
"Is that Pete's Dragon?"
"No, it's Eddie Murphy as the Dragon in Mulan..."
"NO the Reluctant Dragon, rent the video, idiots! He'll rear up and get this -
boil the [now evil] pixies to death in the flaming waters while the fiber optics
"This is brilliant Michael! You think if they cheer now, just think of the whoops,
hollers and yelps that we'll get from the audience when they BBQ those pixies!"
"Wow, I might even break my rule about no attraction merchandise and create a
combination snow globe / lighter that incinerates pixies when lit!"
"And it will be so great that we can copy it for D/MGM and their new stadium water
[All meeting attendees start
chanting "Boil those pixies, Boil those pixies!" just like all the
characters wanted to "boil that dust-speck" in "Horton
Hears a Who."]
"I knew we'd solve this mess somehow, get a turkey, make a turkey sandwich I
"Now about the new park and that X-treme Mickey water show you wanted..."