The logo hung over the stage

Usually when I go to an event I know I will be writing about, by the time I get home I have some idea of the angle I will take in reporting to you, Dear Readers, the tale. I know just how I will begin the piece and what path I want to take all of you on. This time though, I am at a loss. I think maybe I am stunned and in shock and therefore the thought processes are not functioning properly.

That must be it.

Why, must you ask, am I stunned? Well, one would think that after the debacle that was Pirates, Disneyland would blow out all the stops and make the next event a knock your socks off affair. You know? Something to brag about. Something, in your most petulantly childish voice, to make you say to those folks you know who couldn’t come, "Na na na naaaaa, I was there and you weren’t," and then laugh hysterically in your best Diva laugh... ha ha haaaaaaaaaa.

But, as I am sitting here in the wee hours of the morning, I am thinking I have just wasted 135 of my hard- earned dollars. I am thinking I will think twice before I go to one of these things again. I am wondering how it is that Disneyland can do one event so absolutely splendidly as they did with the Ryman Foundation Tour and then fail miserably with the Divas event. I am thinking Merchandise should throw in the towel and hand these events over to Entertainment, you know, those folks who actually know how to put on a show.

To be fair, I do have to say that the Divas event was handled better than the Pirates event. But that’s not much of a compliment. It’s kind of like saying that having your fingernails pulled out is better than being stabbed in the heart. They’re both gonna hurt, now aren’t they.

Also to be fair, I have to report that there were folks I talked to on the way out who thought the evening was wonderful and truly memorable. I also want to point out that I talked to some folks who weren’t too happy with the night either and said they thought they’d never come to a Merchandise event ever again.

So, Dear Readers, are you reading all this and thinking to yourself, "Sue, what was so terrible? Was it really that bad?" The answer to the second question is yes and no.

First let me tell you what I found to be so badly managed and then I will tell you what I thought was good. Yes, that’s right, there was good. You see, I am not a complete fountain of negativity.

The entire event was a study in hurry up and wait, which would be okay if there was a pay- off. The problem was that there was no pay-off. There were huge gaps of time filled with nothing, no music to listen to, nothing to watch, no diversions what so ever.

A crowded event...

Nothing seemed to be ready in time. We had to wait for the Disney folks to open up dinner. It was late. Due to rain, the dinner had to be moved to Redd Rocketts. The problem with this was that the venue simply wasn’t big enough and many folks had to wait in a very long line to get in and select their food. Then they had to find somewhere to sit. Some folks were just starting to get their food when the Divas show was scheduled to begin. As a consequence, the show started late.

If you had any food allergies, good luck finding something to eat. I am one such person. Never have I had a problem finding at least something I could consume at one of these events. This time, there was nothing for me. A Disney cast member offered to get me something when she overheard me telling my friend I couldn’t eat anything. I explained that I cannot eat garlic, onions or seeds of any kind. To do so would make me very sick. I was quite appreciative of the offer to find something for me.

She inquired if I could eat sourdough bread. "Absolutely, thank you very, very much," I said. She returned a few minutes later with three tiny rolls. Three tiny hallowed out rolls that were nothing more than just crust that they were using as bowls for the corn chowder they were serving (which also would have made me very sick). Hello... dear, I could have picked one of those little rocks up myself when I went through the buffet line but I am not overly fond of eating bread crust, especially when it costs $135 to do so.

The only alternative to dinner...

After we were through with dinner we had to wait to go over to the Fantasyland Theatre where the Divas show would take place. Hello again. Did they not know to plan ahead for us to go over there? More waiting. Finally we were escorted around the Matterhorn to the theatre. Did they play appropriately Diva-ish music over the loudspeakers to set the atmosphere? No. Nothing. Funny, they had wonderful music the night before at Little Monsters. That event cost under $10 to attend.

When the show was over and we went to Fantasyland to finish out the evening with a few rides did they have the rides up and running for us when we got there? No. More time wasted while the fine Disney folks got the rides going. Hello once again. Did they not know when the show ended? Umm don’t the Disney folks have those walky talky things that they can signal each other with? A little communication people please!

And dessert. Where the heck was the dessert? A large dose of sugar would have been a dandy thing after no dinner. It would have been nice to have been directed to dessert. Signs anyone? It would have been nice to know it was in Village Haus when I was actually in Fantasyland.

One more thing. When you charge folks $150 (or $135 in the case of annual passholders) to attend these soirées, kindly keep the event going till everyone has had a chance to participate. Especially if you, yes Disneyland, I’m talking to you, are the ones responsible for the timing delays. I think it’s rather rude of you to make us hurry up and wait and then shut down the rides promptly at 12 midnight because, hmmm, the event’s over. When part of the event is to ride the ride and get a pin after you exit the ride, do let everyone ride, won’t you?

Well, Dear Readers, I think I shall leave you here. It’s nearly four am and my soft feather bed is calling me. There is much more to tell though so you will have to visit me again for part two. There is good stuff to describe. Good stuff in the form of Calamari. You do want to know who Calamari is do you not? And you want to hear about the Evil Queen too. I know that you do. She knows how to knock one’s socks off.

Maybe Merchandising should have a talk with her, she could teach the class in knock your socks off.

Part Two - Sue fills you in on the rest of the night

If you'd like to write Sue, you can drop her a line at: tggrfn@aol.com

All character art is © Disney

Part Two