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Larry Wilmot -- July 2000 -- Walt Disney World (ASMoR)

Date of Trip July 11th to 25th 2000 AD.

Staring:

• Jill Wilmot. 40 - Nurse Manager.
• Larry Wilmot 41 - Social Work Manager.
• Gregory Wilmot 12 - Senior 2
• Edward Wilmot 9 - Primary 5.

We are from Yorkshire in England, and we live in the North of Scotland near Inverness.

Guest Appearances by

• Tom and Leanne and Chris,
• WDW1972, Sue Holland and Chris
• Paul and Kathy Salvie, Mark and John.

Prologue.

This is the Wilmot's third trip to WDW, since 1998, and just to prove we are not boring or anything and we can do totally different things, completely, we went to Disneyland Paris for the 1998/9 New Year. Our first trip was off world, and our second was at the All Star Movies, in the 101 Dalmatians building.

Now some of you Radp regulars may have read my Trip Report last year, and some of you thought that I was a little unkind to North American's, well this year is going to be different, I intend to present a balanced view of cultural issues, between European and (British in particular), and those relating to our American cousins.

I have a stance which I take about trip planning, - I don't. I spend my life planning work issues, and this is supposed to be a holiday. I do have themes. Commando the first week, whilst the 5 hour time difference works on our side, and then take a rest in the last week. This year was different, because we needed to save some energy for the end, because we had 5 days devoted to spending time with RADP friends, that we have virtually met and we wanted to meet in real life. Tom and Leanne, we had the pleasure of welcoming to our home briefly earlier in the year, and I played golf in Scotland with him. Actually although he is an American, he didn't once run over the ground between the ball and the hole. Nor did he get the crowd to Jeer me, just as I was about to drive. I guess he will never make the American Ryder Cup Team. Far too polite. ( Woops, broke the rule, and I'm only in Paragraph three. - sorry.)

I was also meeting Sue Holland (WDW1972) and her son Chris, for three days. Items on the Agenda include Disney Quest, Stormalong Bay, a visit to DVC territory, a marshmallow thingy and the Comedy Warehouse.

Finally if my cup didn't runeth over enough - a day with Kathy Salvie and her family, Kathy is the Organiser of the Texas Radp Meet, a fine idea, except for one tiny little point, which without being critical at all is - it's too far from Scotland to be of much use to me.

( There is a Dallas in the North of Scotland, near Forres, - if this is any help to you in the future Kathy,- which could hold a RADP meet :- We could, visit a distillery, then we could, toss a caber, and visit some castles. There are no roller coasters for 200 miles, but there is a hump back bridge, which we could drive fast over. Just a thought.)

We are not hiring a car or visiting Universal Studio's. We may visit, Arabian Nights, but only because it is a free perk, from Virgin our Tour Company. We have travelled with Virgin a few times, and are now Frequent Virgins, and we have T-shirts to prove it. Actually as Christians, one has to wonder if wearing a T-Shirt with "Frequent Virgin" all over it is actually a morally strong message to show, but hey they were free.

I also decided that I should stop taking Snapshots of my trip and do some serious photography, so I dusted of the old Minolta, and got out the zoom lenses and the tripod, and hid them in the case. I bought some 800 speed film, and decided that the castle at night would be the victim of my attempt at being a super-snapper. If past history of the use of that camera is much to go by I wouldn't hold my breath. (My 1982 - Hay bale series, is a sight to behold. I once took a photo of some spanners arranged poetically. Honest - sounds barking mad, now, but seemed a fantastic idea when I was 22.)

Ok enough rambling on. Lets get on with the tale.

Disney Day - 5.

There was a day, when ringing the our cousins across the pond, cost an arm and a leg. But with all this fibre optic stuff, it isn't a problem any longer. Though to most Yorkshire men, old habits die hard, so whilst we are prepared to make transatlantic calls, we speak fast and use short words. Sort of sounds like a machine gun. So the best best best tip I have learnt from all your Trip Reports, is that you can ring up a few days before and ask for a specific part of the resort.

So I rang, - Thank You for calling Disney during our 15 month Millennium Celebration. - If you want to speak to a Cast Member, press 1. If you want to Speak to Michael Eisner Press 2. If you want to listen to a happy Disney tune for the next 3 hours press 3. If you think that closing Mr Toad, was a rubbish idea hang up now, because frankly we at Disney are fed up of you all going on about it..... OK.

Anyway I spoke to the room controller and she was very helpful. She couldn't promise to get my request for Toy Story, but I knew by her tone that she had. Thank you Mrs Cast Member.

Disney Day - 3.

Final packing, wrap lenses in ponchos, get re-fillable mugs out of attic and dust off dust. Go to bed all excited nice and early.......zzzzzzzzz.

Disney Day - 2.

Drive to my mate Paul's house in Tadcaster Yorkshire. We were staying there for a night, very boring journey 404 miles, listned to Disney Tunes on the car CD, to get into the mood.

Disney Day - 1.

Went to take my Mum out for Tea at Sainsbury's in Huddersfield. Put Danny the Cairn Terrier in kennels in Huddersfield. Danny is an amazing dog. It is amazing that I put up with him barking at me 200 times a day, chasing Trains -( We live in a Train Station.) and generally being a pea brain. We also have a cat, now that is a different story....... Then we spent the evening with Jeremy Jill's brother who kindly agreed to take us to Manchester Airport for the fourth year on the trot. I went to the pub with him for a Man to Man chat about Manly things, in a Manly way. (My in-laws, and the price of beer in Scotland.) Jill pumped up the air bed, Jeremy has no spare bed, I mean in this day and age...........

Larry Wilmot's Trip Report.

Act One.

"Like a Bat out of Hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes" Meatloaf.

Tuesday 11th July in the year 2000.

Morning Folks, It's 5-30am and it's not that hard to get up when you have spent the night on an airbed, 2 inches above a dusty carpet. Especially when your Brother in Law provides an alarm clock in the shape of a long distance truck, which when the allotted time comes, shrieks it's horn, and flashes it's lights like a demented Beelzebub about 3 inches from one's left ear. Thanks Jeremy you are a pall. Actually he is because he takes us to the airport at an unearthly hour each year. Mind you I'm sure he goes Hot Rodding with my car whilst we are away.

So sleepy eyed and bushy tailed, we head off for Manchester Airport. Now the flight is not until 10-30am, and yet we have to check in 3 hours before. Why? So they can sell us duty free is my view. So being the stubborn minded type that I am I make a point of not buying any. I don't drink much anyway, I'm a Methodist by rights, and abstaining is easy for me. Though I did buy a bottle of white rum on the way back, coz I'm partial to a pina colada made with coconut ice cream. Reminds me of the joke, I heard in Hull.

The minister of the Local Methodist Church, say to his flock in the sermon, "If I had my way, I would throw, every barrel of beer in Hull in the Humber, and let it flow away to sea. Then I would toss every bottle of the Devil's Spirit, from the Humber Bridge, and smash them on the purifying Rocks below, and for good measure, I would grab each case of wine in the vaults of the wine bars, and empty them by the shores of the North Sea.

Let us now sing Hymn Number 234 "Shall we gather by the river".

So we arrive at the airport and we have no problems at all, we go for a little trip to Terminal One for a bit of a walk, then we have breakfast of bagels etc. Starting to feel a little American already, mine is blueberry. Obviously we bought the food the day before in Huddersfield, we are far too mean to pay Airport Prices. But I guess you could have worked that out for yourselves.

We got on the plane without a hitch, and zoomed into the sky, heading west over Ireland. The Captain announces over Cork, that he is "Johnny Holiday" and welcome to the Virgin Flight to Orlando, being called Holiday, raises a bit of a titter across the plane, and I burst into song, one from Mary Poppins. "It's a Johnny Holiday with Mary, Mary is the................" Any way the flight is good, I didn't watch any of the films, but I listened to some music, and I went to the back of the plane, and sat in one of the crew seats and looked at the clouds for quite some time. We seemed to fly pretty much a sea route because we don't see any land until landing time. I was a little disappointed in this because I have a game I play, in which I award myself a point for every runway I see on the ground, it's amazing how many small towns have airports and runways. Ok Ok, I'm a sad case, but the Doctor is looking at sorting the medication out for me.

We arrive in Orlando, the cases seem to come to us more quickly than usual and our immigration official is quite pleasant. Then we wait ages at the second baggage claim. I hate hate hate this at Orlando, why do you have to do this. It is so annoying.

Virgin staff put us on the Mears Shuttle and I enjoy a brief look at America, The main thing I noticed is that the pools seem to all be in Cages, I hadn't noticed that before. I guess it is to keep leaves out or something. Or Burglars or Dogs or Chlorine Salesmen.

Before you can say "Fastpass is the greatest thing since sliced bread" we were at the All Star Movies. Yippee. When we got there, there was no one in the queue, and Jill dashed to the front of the line, whilst I sorted out the cases with the bus driver.

We had an English Cast Member Jo, check us in, which was nice for us. She was in the International Programme, and she was accused by her friend of picking the British people to check in. Anyway we had a bit of a joke about the free "Fanny Pack" which were got for using the AM EX card. "Fanny" being a rude word in England.

I took the cases to the room myself as we were quite near reception, and I'm a big strong chap. I only had to lie down for 12 hours to recover. We had rung up 5 days before and this had really paid off because we were given a fandabadozzy location. Room 9202, third floor room, non smoking in Toy Story, overlooking Andy's room and facing Buzz. This was cool for us. Some people think that it is noisy, but it wasn't a problem at all for us. The soundproofing is really good, and having a British Influence around instils a air of cultural stability, which tends to calm you over-excitable colonial types, quieting things down to European levels.

So we arranged our breakfast things which we brought from Scotland on the top of the drawer unit, which then resembled a Manhattan Skyline, with lots of cereal packets and packs of stackable crisps. (Chips) We also unpacked our Re-fillable mugs, which are on their second outing. By the end of the trip they will have done 30 days of sterling service, and may get the Disney Achievement Award for outstanding performance in the face of adversity. Not to mention about 700 dollars worth of Hot Choc, Pop and Coffee for the Wilmot's personal consumption.

Ok I know I've been rattling on for ages now, with not a sniff of a Disney Park, so its time to get on the bus for some Disney fun.

When I left Disney last year, we spent the last morning in the Magic Kingdom and I had my hand stamped, even though I knew I was flying home, anyway this was symbolic of my need to return to WDW, so I had to go back to the Magic Kingdom first, and guess what I did, yup I put my hand under the ultra violet light to see if the stamp was still there, and do you know the funny thing was, it was, as clear as anything........ Right, Yer Ok.

We were quite tired, remember, we had got up at 5-30am English time, which was just after midnight Orlando Mean Time, so we knew that we were not going to feel too magical, so we decided to stay out of Tomorrowland as this is our favourite bit, and go to Adventureland. I also thought that it would be a good idea for Jill to do something she hadn't done before so we did the Tiki Room. I think that we all thought that this was a fun way to start the trip. I told her that we should hang about to listen to the cheeky bird at the end, so we did that. We then went to Jungle Cruise, to get our first fastpasses of the trip. I also wanted to check out a Fastpass theory of mine, which I did, the secret of which I shall take to my grave. We had to wait about 30 Minutes, so we did Pirates of the Caribbean this was advertised as being a thirty minute queue but it was only 10 to boarding. So everyone's theory that times are inaccurate more so than ever would seem to be true. Anyway Pirates was fun, I always like the little doggy at the end. I have moaned before about it being poor compared to the Disneyland Paris version so I wont do that again. Nor will I mention anything about you would expect the European version to be better, or anything like that, because I have promised not to do that and if I am anything I am a man of my word....... Smirk..........

I digress...... We went out to Splash to see if a Fastpass could be obtained, and although I worked out four different Fastpass scams, whilst I was there, I didn't have one which could beat a turned off Fastpass machine because they have run out of fastpasses for the day, so we decided that Splash can wait, and when you have ridden with Brear Fox and Brear Bear like we have, Splash can never be the same again anyway... See WDW1998 photopoint photo for proof.

So we did our Jungle cruise, which was fun, but it is not my favourite ride or anything, but it is fun, in a lets have some fun but not go mad, sort of way.

We figured out where you could get Dole Whip from, and stored the info for another day, we went back to the room, and crashed out at 10-30. A long long long, day but I can't wait to do another one like it.... Actually I will have to because it will be on the 19th December 2001.

Ok folks, that's it for now, I've put some new photo's on since I wrote yesterdays epic Prologue, so I if you fancy a wander over to the site, it can be found at......

Cheers Larry your friend in Scotland.

PS I really like Americans, I just pretend not to. Honest.. You know you like it really.

Act Two.

"Time meant nothing never would again, let do the time warp again."

Richard O Brian.

Wednesday July 12th in the Year 2000 AD.

It is always a problem the first night sleep for us at Disney, there are two competing forces. One is the 22 hour day the day before which fights with the natural body clock, which wants to get up at 7-30am Greenwich Mean Time, which is as you all know 2-30am Orlando Mean Time. In reality this means that you wake up very early, very shattered.

But then a new phenomenon kicks, in "Hey we're at Disney, let's get out there and kick some butt."

So we got up at 5-30am without the aid, of Mickey giving us a phone call, then after ablutions, I went to the food court, for some coffee for the adults to have with our home brought cereal. I didn't eat too much of mine, we had chosen a packet each, during the two weeks at Disney, but I decided that bringing it home again, might be foolhardy, given that it could have been x-rayed twice at the airports, and may make me go green in the dark and glow. Later in the week I checked my hand and legs during the dark part of the Tower of Terror, and I swear I saw a sort of green tinge, which I am putting down to radio active honey nut loops.

On the way to the food court there was a lot of activity from cast members, not much on show from the guests. I had read in a Trip Report, that someone who will remain nameless, but who knows who they are had suggested that it might be possible that at the All Stars that they don't do proper maintenance, but I saw the pool guy, hosing down the sunbathing area at 5-50am, ready for a day of relaxation by the great and the good, at the side of a sparkling, yet seriously good value for money pool. So there....

Anyway got the coffee, from the machine which was just being opened up by the cast members, for the morning breakfast opening of six am. They food hall was strangely quiet, and pleasant. Two hours later it would be a swarming throng of families, South American tour groups and little old ladies queuing for the toasters. One thing I did notice at breakfast times, that not all the South American Tour groups get the same quality breakfast. One group I noticed got a bowl of cereal and a couple of pieces of very un healthy looking white bread to toast, whilst another group a couple of days later and you could tell that they were a different group by their tops, got fruit cups and croissants. So if any Brazilian parents are reading my trip report, highly likely I have a big fan club in downtown Rio, where I am affectionately known as El Wilmo, I would pick the group that has the bright green tops, because they get the better grub.

So it is time to get on the bus for a a trip to the parks, so today we decide that it is time to do some thrill riding, to get our quota in early, in order to take it easier later in the week. We opt for MGM, the time we have is limited, because we want to go to the Virgin Holidays, Welcome Meeting at Downtown Disney, at 10am.

We arrive at MGM in time for the seven thirty opening and there is already a crowd building up in the central areas, so we hang about and wait for the them to open some gates at the side, and we get in well before all the people who arrived thirty minutes before us. It's not my fault if they don't know what they are doing.

You know the site where you can post You are a Disney Fanatic if....

Well You know you are a Disney Fanatic, if like Larry you spend two weeks at Disney and you don't bother to get a map. Jill got them once or twice for show times, but I didn't bother.

We headed for Tower of Terror, which was a little disappointing, because they didn't bother with the pre show. Now there are two reasons why pre shows are good, one is so that you can get bored with them, I find Countdown to Extinction the most tedious. Also there is no way I am ever going to call it Dinosaur, that is like me calling Football Soccer, Yuk. I am also finding Test Track pre show a bit of a yawn as well. I do like Tower of Terror, and I adore The Pre show for Honey I shrunk the Audience, in fact I like it more than the main show. True Colours, is fantastic, and it seems to have more meaning for me the more I listen to it, for some reason or another. (Hey you with your sad eyes.)

The other important reason for pre shows, is to get to the exit door in front of those newbies who don't know where the exit is. This can make up to 6 minutes and 18 seconds difference. With a four percent standard deviation of course. One has to be accurate in these things.

It was during this ride on ToT that I invented the All Star Movies Mug Scam, this involves me putting the mug between me and the bar, I'm a big guy and if the bar is clamped down I don't get any air time. So I wait till the CM checks that it is down and it locks in place, I then pull the mug out and ipso facto, I get five inches of extra room for floating about. The only problem is that the people next to me get enough space, to audition for a part in Apollo 13 Two, as they float all over the shop. So if you don't want to do a Kevin Bacon impression I wouldn't sit next to me, if I were you.

After ToT we went for fastpasses for RnR and then did a walk on. Greg showed us his hidden Mickey in the entrance. Collecting Hidden Mickey's and swapping pins, seemed to take over from photos with characters this holiday for us. Though the Kids didn't go mad with the pin thing and they had lots of fun with it. Even I found a hidden Mickey, but Greg found loads of them.

After our walk on RnR, we tried to use fast pass but the ride was cream crackered so the said that we should bring them back later in the day and that they would be honoured.

We had to go at this point, and set off to Downtown Disney, via the Y and B club, but the bus service there was dismal and it took an hour to get there. Stinky Pete or what, we were late for the film, and the Virgin Staff Member, was surprised we had already been to the Studios. I don't think these guys realise the cost of tickets to the parks and that some of us want to get some value for money during our holiday. They did realise that we were tight with the wallet, because we collected our free Arabian Nights tickets, and wouldn't buy any of their excursions to IOA etc. Been, There, Seen that too Yorkshire to Buy the T-shirt.

After that hard sell cattle market, we were a bit peckish and we went to the DD McDonalds for, wait for it, wait for it, four kids meals. Actually we were not really being mean, I had forgot to bring much money with me, and they don't accept the room card for payment.

Following our meagre lunch, we headed for Disney Quest, as we wanted to get the kids used to it before they spent some time alone there with Sue Holland's son Chris next week. We had a fantastic time, and I will discuss the merits of the various attractions, later in this report, when I have had some more time to think of some jokes about them. But I will say that we absolutely loved the Pirates of the Caribbean, which is brilliant family fun. Maybe our favourite attraction at WDW, certainly our favourite family activity at WDW.

We then retired to the hotel where the kids played out, and I sorted out transport to Arabian Nights, which was a black farce, I am far too shattered as I type to be bothered about telling you about, except to say that Virgin sometimes leave a bit to be desired. I ended up wasting my time, walking in the heat to All Star Music to meet with the reps, as I ended up booking it with Mears instead.

We ate at the food court, and then we went back to MGM, Greg found another Hidden Mickey, some grapes in the Tarzan part of the Great Movie Ride, We had the Gangster Section, with it's wonderfully lame acting. Sue Holland later in the trip explained all this to me, which was fun, about the divisions of Disney Staff etc, and why the acting is so poor.

We did Muppets 3D, and the power of RADP, kicked in, because I spotted the Net Full of Jello. Now this is funny to me, coz I haven't a clue why this is funny to you all, something to do with a Disney Presenter called Annette no doubt, but it was really important that I found it. So I was desperate to find a joke I don't get. You lot, crack me up, do you realise you are turning me back into an anorak, When I became a pilot, I stopped being a plane spotter, now in my old age I'm getting just as bad, and it is all your fault.

We then fastpassed our way to Little Mermaid, sat near the back for good laser effects, and adored the wonderful Ariel as usual. You know, I think I'm prepared to put aside my natural prejudice against fish scales, if she fancies giving it a try.

We also used our early morning Fastpasses for RnR, telling them that it had broken down. I also had a theory that if you had fastpasses you didn't have time to use, you could say that they ride had broken down earlier and with shift changes it might work, as rides are always broken. Didn't try that scam out. I have enough others. ( I will tell you about how I got spotted doing one later in the week by a eagle eyed cast member on CTX in due course.)

Anyway, that's all there was time for on this day, and that's all I have time to tell you about anyway, so what a wonderful place to stop.

Act Three.

Rosiness is not a worse windowpane than gloomy grey when viewing the world.

Grace Paley

Thursday the 13th July in the Year 2000 AD.

Good Morning Folks, we got up nice and early again, because we wanted to do Early Entry at Magic Kingdom, now we are starting to find our sea legs again it is time to start doing Disney at some pace, to get 'em in early.

As is custom in the Wilmot household on holiday, (might start using vacation, quite like that word and we don't use it much in Britain.) I go to get the coffees from the Food Court, but coz there was a bit of a rush on the bathroom, I decide to use the bathroom in the lobby, and I notice that the toilet had run out of toilet roll. Now is that Disney? I bet that never happens at Old Key West? Eh Sue.

So after the necessaries, we set of for Magic Kingdom on the bus, it is a nice sunny morning, not too hot yet.

We decide that for a change, we will do the Dumbo or Die, tour from the Unofficial Guide, that is the one where parents get dragged on all the kiddy rides by there four year olds, but as we didn't have any four year olds with us, we had to simulate one. (Can you imagine a virtual four year old, all you have to do is just say things like, ...... "I want to go to the toilet, Daddy",......... "I want to get an Ice Cream, Mummy", "But you have only just finished your Cotton Candy, Darling", "But You Promised, SCREEM"........."I want to got to the toilet again, Daddy".

Now the point of the Dumbo or Die, during EE, is that we haven't been on most of the Fantasyland rides, because they are always have massive lines, full of grotty infants, so the only sensible way for adults to do these is early entry, whilst all the 'snot dripping from nose brigade' are having tantrums about not eating their breakfasts at Cinderella's Royal Trough In at the Castle.

So we do Dumbo first of course, Which is very short, and OK after a 2 minute wait, but after a two hour wait! please, perhaps they should have a Junior Fastpass Scheme for this one.

Then we do all the rides in Fantasyland in about an hour or so. This includes the Poo ride, a first for Jill, and Peter Pan, Jill does this twice, so she can take some photos the second time around.

Jill and the boys do the carousel, and I go and take some photos with the big camera. During which I chat to a friendly Cast Member about the sad way they have left the remains of the Skyway. I photograph a remaining Pillar, which looks like a sad crucifix. It's wind gauge, forlornly and pointlessly rotating in the slight breeze.

We do It's a Small World together and I try to keep detached from the whole affair, mainly because I don't want that tune in my head for the rest of the day, but I did think the cozzies were a little brighter, must have had a re-hab. This word is now in my vocabulary and as I struggle to write these instalments of this epic trip report, I am also having my bathroom suite changed by the plumber and I am decorating the bathroom completely. In the old days this would have been described as "I'm doing the bathroom", now of course "The bathroom is down for a re-hab."

Today is the day that I decide that I am going to start my serious photographic career again, so I brought the 35mm Minolta with me, and the campaign started off really well, as the speed dial fell of the camera, so I couldn't change the speed of the film, until I figured out a way how to do it sans the dial. Still, with more enthusiasm than skill, I set off on a two day, "Walt Disney World Up Close Project", you guys can be the judge of whether I succeeded, as the photo's are at my Photo-point site, well some of them are, quite a lot have been thrown in the bin.

After Fantasyland we head for Tomorrowland, which is my favourite bit of WDW. I love the atmosphere, if I approach it from the entrance of the park, I always nip in through the Pizza Café, the one that overlooks the Loch Ness Monster, thanks Walt for making us folk from Inverness feel at home, by building a local icon for us 3,000 miles away from home. Anyway, back to the tale, when I approach Tomorrowland from this café, I always have to shout in co-ordination with the sound track from the TTA, "A TIMEMACHINE" at the top of my voice, because just that simple thing gives me lots and lots of pleasure, good grief I'm easy to please.

So we have lots of fun in the Retro Metro land, ( I really do love that TTA soundtrack.) On this visit we do TTA twice as a go-around, whilst waiting for Buzz Fastpasses to kick in. Ed and I do Buzz twice, as we have a couple of extra tickets from one of my FP scams, and we also do Space Mountain, Jill and I once and the boys twice, again using the FP scam. For those who are going to complain that I am cheating the system and this is unfair to other guests, I would say that I probably agree with you, and anyway later in the week I get spotted doing this and have quiet rightly a very uncomfortable time.

Anyway, I'm not the only one up to no good in my party, If I am going to have the wrath of RADP breathing down my neck, like the monster from Alien Encounter, which I seem to remember doing, whilst the boys were doing something else, but it isn't in my notes. Jill should also get some stick, for the Pin Trade Scam she invented, which is to buy a set of four very small pins, the bits of Mickey set, and then trade them for four regular size pins. Naughty Naughty. Actually I was quite impressed with Jill for coming up with something as uncannily cost effective as this. They were so small, that some CM's were unsure about trading for them, but she managed to offload three of them and only kept the one she liked for herself.

She then proceeded to sell the swaps to the Kids, I mean, how tight can you get?

I got the first of my two Aliens from Toy Story pins, at the Toy Story Cart in Tomorrowland, and I got the later one, for a swap for a pin I picked up in Scotland before the trip started. I kept my free 2000 pin, I got as part of the UMP/Room Deal, so my collection is pretty small, but The two aliens, are not alone, clearly it would be cruel just to have one, and I may be mean but I'm not cruel.

On the way out of the park at 11-30 I found Walt's Window, thanks to a kind CM who pointed it out to me, and I then photographed it, and do you know what, I felt just a tinge of Disney Magic, doing this, prob the first time this trip that I had felt some, so thanks to RADP for letting me know of it's existence. (The photo is on the up-close folder on my photopoint site, if you want to have a nosey.)

We went to the All Star Movies, for lunch and I discovered, that just like Sue Holland -WDW1972, I am in the habit of sharing a Kids meal with my boys, the only difference is that I don't do it until after I've eaten mine first. Ha Ha.

After lunch we made our first trip, of many this "Vacation" to Epcot.

I met a Cast Member who was very un-amused at my suggestion, that at sometime in the past that a large aircraft had crashed into the front gate of Epcot and had killed lots of guests, and that is why they had built a memorial to them, but they didn't want anyone to know that this had happened, and that is why they were calling it "Leave a Legacy", so as to not put off tourist to the park. But still be able to honour the dead.

Any way, we discovered the Single's line at Test Track, and so this year we did TT lots of times, last year we only managed two trips on it. This particular first go, took 10 minutes to get on, which was the fastest we managed. We were so impressed we did it again, and past some of the people, we had seen in the regular line, the first time around.

At some point in the trip report I will rabbit on at length about what a sad set of no hope losers the regular line people are, when Fastpass is available on the best attractions, but at this point in time I am feeling rather mellow, and tired after Artex-ing my bathroom ceiling, so I can't be bothered, but believe me I will.

After this, we went on Journey into your Imagination. And quite frankly boys and gals. I really enjoyed it, there are a couple of lame bits like the upside down room, but it is OK, and anyway Eric Idle is fun. You lot are just getting fed up because us Brits are taking over the world, (WDW - that is.) especially Elton John, Eric Idle, Jeremy Irons and Phil Collins, and Peter Gabriel. But remember not all is lost, you still have Bill Nye the Science Guy, and he is ok, because he personally replied to an e-mail I sent him, and didn't get some lacky or bot to do it.

Anyway this was a short visit to Epcot because we had to get ready for our trip to Arabian Nights, and I'm not going to say too much about this because I'm over my daily word limit, and to carry on I may have to think about charging overtime rates. I will say that the Mears Shuttle was efficient but not very cheap. Arabian Nights is very very very very TACKY in respect of the waiting areas and shop etc.. If that was voted the "Best Dinner Show" in Orlando, I wouldn't want to go to the worst. The horse display was entertaining, and I enjoyed that, which quite surprised me, because I'm not a horsey kind of guy. Those guys and gals have oodles of skills, and it was put together in an entertaining sort of way. BUT the food, was positively revolting. (Though Jill disagrees with me a bit on this - I include this for Balance.) It was free for me to get in so I shouldn't moan.

Would I pay to get in at the regular price. No Way.

Would I go again, if it was free again. No Way, especially if I had to go to the Virgin Cattle Market to get the tickets.

Act Four.

. . . this life is a perpetual chequer-work of good and evil, pleasure and pain. When in possession of what we desire, we are only so much the nearer losing it; and when at a distance from it, we live in expectation of enjoying it again.

Marie de Sevigne (1626-1696) French diarist

Friday 14th July in the year 2000 AD.

Good Morning Campers, Rise and Shine, Today was another early entry so we were up at the crack of dawn and ready to take on the world. After a breakfast from the diminishing breakfast bar on top of the knicker drawer, we were off to the transportation interface at the hotel. (The Bus Stop.) And away we went to Epcot. Last time Epcot was my least favourite park, but this time the Millennium Celebrations have perked up the park, of that there can be no doubt, despite the tombstones. So we definitely spent more time there this year.

I was chatting to Paul Salvie later in the trip, on a walk from Morocco to China, (7,000 miles, quite a walk) and we were looking at the 2000, on top of the ironwork frame above Spaceship Earth and speculating about how much it must have cost to build, and when you think about it, they didn't need to do that. The fact that someone thought of this, and someone then agreed to pay for it, lets guess, $750k. for something that actually doesn't really generate any income is quite impressive. Either that, or it is the bits left over from the roller coaster they never built at animal kingdom, and they slung it together and slapped some grey paint on it and a few sparkly bits, from a drawer in the arts and crafts locker at the Disney Institute......

Oh eck, I'm getting ahead of my self.........

We went to Test Track, and got a FP for later and then walked on through the old themed queuing area, which becomes the Fastpass line, when EE is over, and got on in about 10 min. I noticed whilst queuing in the post pre show area, that there are some white wheels under the cars, holding it to the track, a bit like iron roller coaster under track wheels, though the ones I could see were horizontal, a bit like monorail ones.

Test Track grows on me and I am enjoying it more this year, I also found a Hidden Mickey, in the photos, at the end. If you have bought a photo get it out, and look it will be plain to see. You can also see it on the side of the track, just prior to the crash test doors opening, on the left it is very big, and upside down, so it appears the right way up in the photo.

When we came off, we tried to use our Fastpass but we didn't because the Fastpass line was too long for a repeat ride.

We wandered over to Honey I Shrunk the Audience, but didn't realise that this was not open during EE, so we went to Ice Station Cool instead. I filled up my re-fillable mug, with the Ginger Beer Drink... I know, I know, but let's face it Are Disney or Coca Cola going to go bust. No of course not, but I might if I don't keep my costs down, visiting Disney every flipping year.

After our cooling drink, we tried the Fastpass at TT again (we had got some fresh ones earlier.) We also wandered over to get some Fastpasses for Honey I Shrunk, which was now open. We spent some time in the Land Pavilion. We went on It's a Small Lettuce...... For those who don't get this joke, and that is probably all of you, here we go.

Water Rides Key.

It's a Small World = It's a Small World.

Living with the Land = It's a Small Lettuce.

Maelstrom = It's a Small Fjord.

Friendship boats = It's a Small Walk.

Anyway I said I wouldn't do this again, because I was unhappy with the conditions the fish and the alligators are kept in. But I did, they didn't seem as grizzly as I remembered, but they are far from ideal, especially for the alligators, who are expected to live on an iron grid. Hmmmm, is there any point in all that AK stuff, if Epcot can do this?

After the ride, the boys spent some time making corn sculptures with the corn stick Cast Member, and we chatted with her about how it is important to do the little things like this at Disney, and not just rush about the place all the time. She agreed with me, but said that not everyone is as wise as us. There see, you all thought I was just a simple story teller, but it turns out that I am quite wise. I always thought so, but I didn't like to take it for granted.

After this moment of philosophy, Jill went to China, to order lunch,(no where more philosophical as China.) as we had a urge to have some Chinese food, we sang the Monty Python song on the way, and I peeled off after the second verse, to the Electric Umbrella, because being the internationalist that he is, Edward refuses to eat Chinese Food, so I have to go get him a burger from somewhere, and I decide that the Electric Umbrella is the least amount of deviation and meandering that I can get away with.

I also popped into Innoventions, to send e-mail postcards to the people I am due to meet later in the hols to send them my room number in code.

We meet up at China, and Jill has got me a Lotus Blossom sampler, which is nice, and we do our usual food trading amongst ourselves. Edward decides that he should go to the loo, which is probably more a ploy not to eat anything, despite the sterling efforts that I have had to go through, to get his food in the first place.

Anyway after quite some time, Edward appears from the loo, in tears. When we ask why, it is because his favourite pin, has fallen down the toilet, and when he moved off the seat to have a look, the loo auto flushed. (We don't have technology like that in Elgin.) So we have a debate about the nature of looking after one's possessions, especially one's most treasured possessions. Which goes along the lines of "I told you, not to fiddle with your best pins all the time, because you will loose them, so it serves you right, let it be a lesson to you." I know, Not exactly Mr Supportive, but just because I'm a social worker, and I can tell you what to say, doesn't mean I can do it myself.

Anyway, Gregory leaps from his seat like a true Super-Hero, and dives into the washroom, sticks his hand down the spout and gets the pin out, gives it a rinse under the tap, and it reclaims it's rightful place on Ed's hat. Well done Greg.

After lunch, it is a little cooler than normal, so we go and do some of the countries at Epcot we haven't managed to do, in the past couple of years, because it has always been too bloody hot. The first day we ever spent at Epcot in 98 it was 104 degrees, I mean, how the eck are you supposed to walk around World Showcase in that heat.

We ride "It's a Small Fjord" and I am surprised just how short this is, but I like the model of the Oil Platform, and I like the little village at the end.

So we go to Italy after this, and Jill and the boys start doing the Kidi-Cot activities. Jill has an ice crème, and we chat to the cast member at the stand briefly, and have a quick nosey around St Marks Sq, we've been to the real thing, so it was nice to see the scaled down version, a lot less smelly than the real Venice. Also easier to find the toilets. My recollection of my one day at Venice, is dominated by the search for a toilet.

We go then to the USA, for the kidi-cot, didn't do American Adventure this year, I don't know why, I bought the WDW CD and I wanted to sing the song, so I could be an American for the afternoon. I was going to use words like Soccer, ballgame and stroller, in your honour. But sadly it wasn't to be.

I did however, have the first of my RADP inspired Kaki Gori, simple but very very nice. The nature of simplicity is often overlooked I think. Shaved Ice, Sugar and Colouring. Not a lot to it, very profitable, and yuuuummmmm.

I had at least two others during the trip. My first was Strawberry, but I settled on Honeydew as my favourite by the end of the trip.

We had a butcher's around some of the shops, (butcher's hook = look.) and popped in to Morocco in Leanne's honour. Then we got the boat back to the centre, and bogged off back to the hotel, cream crackered. On the way we did some pinning, and talked to an American CM, with a British Name Tag, I shall not give away his secret, but if you see him, get him to tell you the story it is funny. The town he is from is Avalon. ( Did the swap with him for the 2nd Alien Pin..... yeah, cool.)

I had a kip, for a while, whilst Greg and Ed went for a swim. Afterwards we had tea, but Greg was too tired to go out, so he went to bed. I stayed in with him and watched Voyager. You are six months ahead of us in Britain, so I now I know what will happen. I wonder if the bookies will take bets, probably not.

Jill was going to go to the Campfire at Fort Wilderness, but only made it as far

as MK, but they had a nice time, I gather.

I was asleep by 10pm, and Jill and Ed were not too much later, but there arrival is all hazy, so I don't remember.

Night Night.

Act Five.

They are all gone into the world of light,/ And I alone sit lingering here.

Henry Vaughan (1622-1695) Anglo-Welsh poet, mystic

Saturday 14th July in the year 2000 AD.

Time is starting to catch up with us, in that we are adjusting to Floridian Time, but we manage to get up with out too much bother. And after I slavishly go to the Food Court to get the coffee, and I pick up my free copy of the Daily Mail from the "Flying Paper-Boy" as Virgin call their, don't forget home paper delivery service. Actually I go on "Vacation" to forget all the stuff from home, so I don't really want to know about Tony Blair's son out on the razzle in central London, actually, so next time you can keep it. ( Not going with Virgin next time. See last day for TR for reasons why!!)

But first a little drama, Jill decides that although the people smoking on our balcony will be dead in a very short while, due to the effects of their carcinogenic activities, it might not be in the next 10 days or so, so she feels that she should do something about us, having to walk past their stale smoke in what is a non-smoking block. So she goes into the Guest Services area of the All Star Movies, and in British speak, "Grasses the up." I don't know the American for that, "Stool Pigeon" or something. Anyway she is shocked to the core, when the CM tells her that they are ALLOWED to smoke on the balcony, so Jill is not too best pleased. One of the reasons why Sue Holland and us get on so well, is that we both despise smokers. Last year we went to the Nascar Café at Universal Studio's and they let people smoke at the tables. The people next to us were smoking, so I put Our and Kevin Rushforth's (See last years TR for info on who Kevin is.) Squeeze Breeze's on and blew the smoke away from us, Which impressed them lots, how I came away from that meal without my face smashed in is quite a mystery to me. I also had an accident with my private parts and some suntan crème during that meal, but I guess that you don't want to know about that. And if you do, you are a sad case, and you need to see the Doctor.

So of we go to Animal Kingdom, our first visit of what turns out to be only two in 14 days, which looking back surprises me, because I remember doing AK more, and it is not like we didn't have a good time, on this particular day. I think Epcot really has gone up in our estimation, and it took over some of our AK time.

So the first thing we do is dash for Killy Fastpasses, we wait for Killy, by doing the Gorilla Trail, which is now called something beyond my spelling ability, so I won't bother, trying. During the walk through the jungle of Africa, it was "chucking it down" so to keep from getting wet, we spent more time looking at the animals like the hippo, (and the billions of fish, which have arrived since last year.) Then we came to the merkats and the Guy who is telling us about them and afterwards he asks if we have any questions. I have a total lack of ability to keep my gob shut, so I asks a question about how they stop the birds flying away, and he puts his very black arm, against my very white arm, holds them up and says. "My brother here has a very interesting question" to the crowd, who can instantly spot the likeness between us two siblings.

After the trail, we do Killy, which was quite a good 'un due to the early nature of the visit and lots of them animal thingies being out. I notice that they have still persevered with the Big Red stuff, and they have added a bit when they play the "radio". Time for a new tale I think. Maybe something about a visit from Mickey Mouse, who meets up with Simba, who invites him for Tea, and Scar Eats him in one snarly bite, and then has Donald Duck for pudding, rounded off with Cheese, Biscuits and Pluto for afters. Yum Yum.

It could be called Lion King III (Scar gets indigestion.)

We did some riding on Kali then and as it was hot, we didn't bother with the poncho's and I got PWT, especially on the second ride. (E-mail me if you don't know what PWT is.) I discovered that as four of us could manage to get 6 fast passes, between us using the secret scam I am not telling you about. I could make that 8 by getting an invalid pass, and turning it upside down, and hiding it between the three legitimate one. I managed to do this, and we got through twice. I felt very naughty, but quite clever doing this. However, this is the scam I got spotted doing at Countdown to Extinction, and it was very embarrassing. Though whilst it lasted, I was quite impressed with my ingenuity.

We then head for the Tarzan Rocks which was a particular favourite last year, but seems to have been severely toned down this time, because the skaters, don't whiz around the track between the two audience tiers. Which is a shame. Coz that was a fun bit. One suspects that this is for safety. Re-instate it and get 'em better shin pads I say. What if you kill a few guests who are stupid enough to get in the way, it just adds to the spectacle, and any way, you could get smokers to sit in the front row, they will be dead soon so it doesn't make much difference.

We then got some fast passes for Countdown to Extinction. (Eagle Eyed Cast Members here folks.) In the mean time Jill went to sit down in the boneyard, and the boys played, whilst I watched the "Who wants to win a dinosaur" game, which was a rip off of the Who Wants to be a Millionaire. This surprised me, because I suspect that Disney were not paying a license fee to use the music, because it was such a poor parody that I doubt that the Who Wants People would franchise this. It is also nice to know that we Brits can retaliate for Wheel of Fortune, by sending you this back in revenge. Though you have go to admit, it wipes the floor with the rubbish game shows you Americans have thought of....... Woops forgot again, I'm being nice to Americans this time. I like the Larry Sander's show, does that help you feel better. I hope so.

We did Countdown, and I notice that there have been more light effects added since last year, If they want to call it Dinosaur, they could at least give us a new pre-show. I'm bored with this one. "Flash Photography, I wouldn't." - Quite frankly Seeker my old chum, I don't give a rats tail what you think!!

After this we go to Tusker House for lunch, and we have a second chat in the day with a CM called David, he was the meeter and greeter on the door of Tusker House, and he was a fun guy to chat to. We had spoken to him a few hours before, and he remembered us when we came back, and was impressed that we had decided to come for lunch after he had recommended the food to us. We chatted to him on the way out, and I think Ed swapped some pins with him. Both Jill and I really liked the food their and we suspect that it deserves it's reputation as the kind of the fast food outlets. The server, said to us that it was the best food in the Universe. It was quite nice.

We then went on Kalli for the second time, to get wet again.

We went back to the Hotel for Sleep and Bagels. ( No not at the same time.)

After our refreshment we went to the Magic Kingdom, and took the train to the Haunted Mansion, and we rode that and had two wee shotties on Splash using our two Fastpass scams. Jill and the boys did Big Thunder and I peeled off to do my night time photography. Can I thank you for visiting my Photopoint site, I have had about 3,500 hits to this years two albums, I can hardly believe this, and it makes me feel so happy, I would like to thank you all individually, so if you come over to Scotland, just knock on the door, say Mickey sent you and you will receive a warm welcome, some cucumber sandwiches and a signed autograph of Bill Nye the Science Guy, who you must know now is my personal friend.

Taking the photographs was great fun, and I even managed a trip on Space Mountain, with my tripod and big lens whilst I was waiting for the park to empty. It took me about 25minutes to get out of the coaster mind you after the ride. Then I had the park to myself. And I spent about an hour wandering about. And no one seemed to mind, the CM's could see what I was doing and left me alone. One person asked me if I worked for Disney, lol. (If only.) I also saw the most fantastic sight which was two Liberty Square women CM, is their turn of the century outfits, having a race to push a buggy each to the central hub, were they we being collected by others. I just laughed at them screaming past me, and they didn't care that I was in the way, they just wanted to WIN.

That is all I have time for tonight except to say, that the day was wonderful apart from the fact that I didn't have a chance to meet Rachel the adorable mermaid, then it would have been perfection itself. (Guess who told me to say that?)

Act Six.

Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy

Sunday 16th July in the year 2000 AD.

Today was the day that we decided that we would feed ourselves up using our Unlimited Magic Pass flex feature on a nice character breakfast. So as usual, Larry the tight Yorkshire man, who has a PhD. In Mean from the Scottish University of Life. had a little plan. This plan included a "lie in" to conserve energy, for carrying large plates of food. Then going to the Magic Kingdom, taking a leisurely stole up Main Street, turning left to the Crystal Palace. Then we have a breakfast, but get it at the end of the breakfast shift so that it is really lunch. Eat as much as we can and then starve for the next 13 days to save money, just live on the 55,000 calories that we manage to consume. Good Plan.

So we get up as normal though a bit later, and take our time getting to the Magic Kingdom. Although we had a Priority Seating, we had quite a wait, before entering the Crystal Palace. I spent the time in thoughts about the original Crystal Palace. This was in London in the reign of Victoria, before Albert died, and it was a celebration of everything British, and our conquering of the world and the consequential British Empire. I haven't studied much about this, but one gets the notion that it was a very popular exhibition. Now people flocked from all over the world to see the technological marvels of the day. I then contrasted this with the Millennium Dome, which is Britain's current attempt to do the same thing. The only problem is that it has been universally ridiculed by everyone, except me. I visited it and enjoyed it. However, it is hard to imagine that 150 years later, that there will be Character Breakfasts in a Scaled down Disney Millennium Dome!.

In reality, I didn't "PIG OUT", I seem to have a mental block at unlimited buffets which actually means that I eat less than I would at an ordinary meal. However, Gregory had enough for the rest of us put together. We had a very pleasant server, who refused to accept a tip from me because a tip was included in the Flex Feature, which I was quite impressed with. I enjoyed the flower versions of the Poo Characters. We also had some fun with Tigger and Piglet and Eye-Ore.

After Brunch we went to the TTA, and did it our trademark twice around the block with a wave on from the CM. I thought that it might be more busy, this year with Fastpass, meaning people would do the 'A' ticket rides more, but it seems as empty as ever. I really don't understand this because TTA is really one of my favourites. I went backwards this time, and I could see the infra red lights, which are presumably used for the security cameras. So next time you are having a "snog" in the dark, on the Space Mountain bit of the TTA remember that someone is watching you. Actually I have an idea, why not replace the boring Disney MK web cam, which is very poor resolution, with a live feed from the dark parts of the TTA security camera coverage, this might be much more interesting!!

We then did our Fast Pass go on Buzz. This time using Fastpass was different, there was quite a line in the FP queue. I suspect that the ride had been down. Now what I noticed was that until the FP line reduced no one was getting through the regular line. ( Someone e-mailed me, a few days ago, saying that they called the regular line the DUMMY LINE, sounds about right to me.) I really don't understand the point in using the dummy line at all. Why wait in a queue, when you can wait the same length of time on an "A Ticket" attraction, or even drinking overpriced coke in a café. Have you seen the faces on people in the dummy line when you waltz past them. Hate, resentment and frustration. Listen Guys life is too short for all that. Read your Maps, speak to a Cast Member even take the advice of the Disney Anoraks on RADP, but don't use the DUMMY LINE use FASTPASS.

OK folks Smug mode - Off.

After Buzz we did Disney Mania, I really enjoy this but looking at it more critically. ( Larry Darling, why don't you try being a theatre critic.)......

The lights came on, the audience buzzed with anticipation, Kathleen Turner, arrived on stage with a strangely beguiling presence, Yes after 23 years, Mrs Robinson was alive and away from the silver screen......... Woops wrong production.........

Disney Mania is a fun show, but it relies too much on the strength of the Disney Song Catalogue to take it's audience with it. In reality a solid rendition of the Disney Top Ten, doesn't mask what is very basic costuming and cheap production values, compared with say Tarzan or Hunchback of Notre Dame. Generally speaking it appears thin. The worst problem though is that the theatre is so poorly shaded and cooled, that one just boils, and this itself makes you want the show to end, so you can find a long air-conditioned queue to line up in. ( One good reason for not using a Fastpass - perhaps.)

Time to have a rest and try a RADP tip. We left the park, and took the mono-rail to Epcot. Now I had heard that one could ride in the cab if one asked nicely at the entrance. Now you know the British, we are so polite, so the cast member had no hesitation in letting such nice people ride in the cab. We had to wait for the second monorail, but at least the station was a lot cooler than the Galaxy Palace Theatre.

Then we had the fun of riding on the longest stretch of the monorail to the Epcot. Certainly it is the best view of the park, and the long stretch between parks is fun. The only problem was that the monorail driver was the Strong Silent type. ( Well he didn't look that strong, even more flabby than me, but he certainly made up for it on the Silent Front.

I suspect that he may be the Captain of the Florida Quiet Team, for the 2000 American Silence Championships, to be held in the Washington State Library in October. They are second favourites after the New York State Timids.)

Anyway, after the ride, we asked for co-pilots licences, which is a good job because he wouldn't have offered them, that would have involved talking, which would be asking for too much. But I would certainly like to ride it again. MK to Epcot being the better deal, as you get to ride around the whole of futureworld, that way.

After our epic journey we headed to Millennium Village, via a stop at Ice Station Cool. I discovered that it takes four presses to fill a Refillable Mug. ( Which of course I wouldn't do because it is very naughty, OK I would and Did Several Times. )

Now Point Number One, the Millennium Village is great, I liked it. Edward loved it and spent hours over the next 10 days in there. Mainly between Scotland for the "Golf" and Brazil for the Football, both the five a side, stuff and the Computer version. He also liked the punch bag rainforest. He would hang out there whilst we saw ToN.

Point Number Two. The toilets are good, but they are not as stylish as the ones in the Millennium Dome, go look at the men's urinals at the Millennium Dome if you don't believe me. ( There is a photo on my London 2000 photopoint site. ) They are so fantastic, never have I pee'd in such style. ( A cultural triumph for the Brits over the Americans, yet again.)

I also enjoyed the Simulator ride over Jerusalem, you could see that they were walking on eggshells to try to keep everyone happy, not an easy task, I suspect, but it was still very interesting. I also never knew just how compact the old city was, and I found that quite informative.

Point Number Three, the rest of the exhibition is a bit of a Car Boot Sale. ( Yard Sale??)

After the trip to Jerusalem and playing the Quiz at the exit, we went to stake our place for the Tapestry of Nations. We chose Britain, mainly because I wanted some Fish and Chips for Tea, from Harry Ramsden's. Now they are not quite like the ones from the real HR in Guisley Yorkshire, but they are the nearest I'm likely to find in Florida, so I quite enjoyed them. I also like teasing the English Cast Members about their naff costumes. Poor Sods, imagine spending 12 months dressed like an extra from Flambards. Still I met the most happy cast member in the whole of WDW, he was doing crowd marshalling for ToN and I think he must take "Happy Pills or Something". Then I saw a "Suit" Dancing in the Street, what the heck is happening in "Britain". Where do Disney Find these deliriously happy Brits. I think that they might be animatronics, because most of us are miserable sods over here. Perhaps it's sun stroke or something.

Anyway we got chatting to a retired policeman, whose e-mail address I seem to have lost, who was nice as was his wife, we swapped photography tales and passed the time. We were sat at the Village Cross in the middle of the street. Greg Clung like a limpet to the top part of the cross, to get a good view, and fought off an interloper who tried to nick his good position as soon as the parade music could be heard.

What can I say about ToN, that hasn't been said here before. We all really enjoyed it, it is full of energy, the music is so catchy, the CD should have a health warning on the case. ( Of course we bought it, to play on a daily basis, until we can get back to WDW.) I hope that the parade lasts longer than the 15 months, because it transforms Epcot.

After this we fought the crowds heading out of the park to go to MV to retrieve Ed, who was in the Brazilian Jungle. Then we walked around to Japan, and had a Kaki Gori, Rainbow Flavour for moi. Then we watched the Drummers, which I thought were fantastic, Greg liked the koi-carp the most though. We then staked a place for the second ToN. Finally it became dark, and from Japan, which was a little far from the action we saw Illuminations 2000. I don't enjoy the music as much as the old illuminations, but the special effects are wonderful, and the timing of the fireworks, must mean that they are manufactured to a very high tolerance level, because they explode at just the right time, so they are fired, and then trigger a couple of seconds later, just as the music hits a certain beat. Gor blimey when I used to watch the Huddersfield Summer Entertainment Final Day Firework Show as a child, I thought that I had seen the most elaborate pyrotechnic display possible. I hadn't, I have now.

Act Seven.

Acting is like painting pictures on bathroom tissues. Ten minutes later you throw them away and they're gone.

Shelley Winters.

Monday 17th July in the year 2000 AD.

Quite surprisingly I got up early, given that I had stayed up after everyone else last night. After the Epcot Illuminations 2000, I had walked to the Y and B Club to get the boat, to MGM, with the intention of seeing the 11 pm showing of Fantasmic, but in the end, I decided one firework show was enough for one night, and went for a ride on ToT and Rock and Roll. So I had some late night thrill seeking which was fun. Though the same stranger sat next to me on both rides, so I got paranoid that he was following me about, then when he got on the bus to the All Star Movies, I was convinced that he was an Undercover Disney Fastpass Police Squad Member, who was going to have my head tattooed with "DUMMY LINE ONLY" to restrict me to the regular line for the rest of the trip.

Despite my late night we were only about 20 minutes behind the first of the Early Entry people into the park. (Why do they call Early Entry - Surprise Mornings - what exactly is the surprise. Maybe it is that they don't charge extra for it like e-nights.) So we head for my favourite Tommorrowland. We manage to do Space Mountain twice, one of which I get to go in the front seat, which is unusual, because I'm well down the pecking order, and always seem to get the fourth seat when we ride all together. But I decided that it is time for some natural justice, and I exerted my manly rights to lead the family into danger from the front, to boldly go, where no one has gone before, to make it so. ( Talking of Star Trek, do any of my fellow Brits, who have seen photographs of Mrs Thatcher Recently, think that she seems to be slowly changing into a Cardassian?)

We also do Buzz and Jill does Autopia, as I call it. I notice a sign for the Indianapolis Formula One race to be held in September. Americans, appear to prefer Indy Cart Racing to Formula One, I think that they prefer to go around in circles together rather than actually race each other, but each to their own.

After Tommorrowland, we decided to do something new. We go to the cowboy theatre, Diamond Lill's Review at the Horseshoe Inn. Now I wasn't expecting much from this I don't really go for the cowboy thing. But I have to confess that I really enjoyed this. One of the best things we did. Sometimes that happens at Disney, I remember being very disappointed at Test Track last year. Mainly because it had been hyped up so much. I enjoyed it lots more this year. I had very few expectations for this show. I thought it was funny, I enjoyed the Singing Cowboy, it's amazing how a simple lad from Yorkshire actually knows all the words to Cowboy songs. How? I don't ever remember learning them, but I knew them all. Maybe because my fathers family originate from North America I have them in my genes. (Oh no, don't tell anyone about my American and Canadian Blood, after all those insults, I have made in these trip reports, I should hang my head in shame.)

I also enjoyed the magician and Pheww those dancing girls. Thankfully I wasn't sat anywhere where they could get near me. Could get embarrassing if you were the poor bloke, who gets her sat on his lap. (If you get my drift. - You don't want a bucket of cold water throwing over you, now do you?)

We then got the train around the rest of MK, and went to MGM.

Now to my favourite bit of the Trip Report. Last year my acting skills were recognised by Universal Studio's where I was recruited to the important, no vital, role of "Man who falls down an escalator" in the Earthquake ride. This spring I was chosen by the BBC (no less.) to be in a radio play actor, in a spooky story of a spooky house on a very spooky night. This was in the tour of the BBC HQ in London.

Then the "piece de la resistance", we enter Doug Live, I head for the front row, and when the casting woman comes on I hoop, and I holler, I holler and I hoop. YO, I shout and trice I YO thrice more. Then the inevitable happens. I am chosen as a BEET, yes you heard it right folks. Larry your friend in Scotland is a BEET. A BEET, Me wow. WOW. I'm a BEET. (You get the impression I'm a bit excited.) Wow a beet....

So behind the scenes we go, and we get to put on our costumes.. A nice young woman is looking after us, who enjoyed her year on the college programme, so much she quit college to work full time on the Doug Live Show. ( I bet that impressed her parents.) She enjoyes British Comedy and asked me lots of questions about her favourite programmes. At one point she said I had to go to Cosmetology I nearly fell of my perch, Why? what is wrong with me?, how do you know I'm ill? It turns out that it was for my wig. So I was given the role of Munroe. A vital role because he is on stage for the longest of the Beets. A full 37 Seconds. Cool. It was also cool being back stage, we got to meet Pâté Mayonnaise, and the dog Pork Chop. Pâté said some kind words to us, (Actually it felt part of her script to me.) Then we stood on the revolving stage, and BANG fireworks exploded over our heads, and the turntable revolved onto the front stage, and boy did I give it some hammer, I did my Ozzy Osborne Impression, mixed with a touch of the Freddy Mercury. The full frontal assault on Hard Rock. Then as soon as it started, it was over. We were back to the costume area to de-robe, the four Beets and Quail Sprog. They gave us a certificate and dragged us back on stage for our curtain call, at 29 Jumbo Street. Only four people in about 800 get chosen. Go for it. Did I enjoy it? Too right I enjoyed it. I'm a bit of a performer, you might have guessed that. I have actually appeared on British TV 17 times, in lots of different programmes. ( Mostly on Politics, where I was quite sensible.) So I am used to being back stage, and performing. But this was Disney!!.

So I now have this motto. "I may not be a Cast Member, but I am a Member of the Cast."

For a little while I was as they say "High as a Kite". We went straight from Doug to the Prime Time Café for our libations. This was great fun too, after showing off to the waiter about being a Beet, we had a great time. The waiter was the best of the three we have had there in the past two years. He was from Morocco, and he was a great provider of fun and humiliation, mainly for those at another table. He did the whole routine, feeding people who didn't eat their greens using the train AND the aeroplane, making the guy stand next to the wall for bullying his sister. They took it in good part. Gregory made a sign saying "Keep you elbows off the table" and or waiter gave it to someone on the next table who had been caught with their elbows on the table. The food was quite nice, very large portions. I had the tuna melt, which tasted like chicken. Jill has some very tasty onion rings, mmmmmmmm. Greg and I shared a Banana Split, there is no way, even I could eat a whole one of them. Ed as is traditional for him had a coke float for the bottle. Jill uses it to top up the iron back in Scotland.

We then went to the Backlot tour but we were showing signs of being cream cracked by that point, and it is all a bit of a hot blur. I remember seeing lots of Mission to Mars stuff, which will be cool when we see the film. Afterwards Jill took the boys back to the ranch. I went to see Doug Live, because although they have monitors of the action backstage, you don't really see the show when you are Beet. I really enjoyed this showing, though it was a different cast, but the Munroe, wasn't a patch on me. Still he is a Beet, so Respect Man, Respect.

Happy having had a great afternoon at MGM, I go back to the All Stars for a Sleep. I woke up at 9pm and took some getting up. We went down to Downtown Disney, this is my least favourite bus route, too many stops, and it takes far too long. Still the bus service is quite good. I do have a theory though that there is a CCTV hidden in the bushes, and a controller looks at the screen and notices which queue is the longest, he then radios to the busses, and tells them to go to the shortest lines, which is why, despite being at the stop for 25 minutes, three busses have come for Epcot, and none for downtown Disney which you are waiting for. When he sees you heading for the guest services, they send one to the Downtown Disney Stop, so you miss it. He then does the same trick to those waiting for Magic Kingdom.

We took the kids into Disney Quest where they spent most of their time in the Midway Section, doing the racing games and air hockey. Jill and I nipped off to Pleasure Island, where we went to the Adventure's Club, and we did the Balderdash Cup. The Pigeon Story doesn't do a lot for me, but I enjoyed the performance of the two principles. There was no RADP group to try to fix the scoring sadly. We got talking to a nice couple from Tampa, who were over for a short trip. It would appear that there are some normal people at the Adventurers Club, in fact I think they thought it was all a bit weird. (Clearly not RADP material, but all the better for that.)

We went back to DQ and had to have a family visit to Pirates of the Caribbean, I think we got about 2,500 points. I split my self between captain duties and firing cannonballs.

Then we all had a go on the virtual driving machines. We all entered a race, and I came third overall but first of the Wilmot Clan. Honour intact for the head of the household for anther day.

We got thrown out at midnight and we rushed back to the hotel, and went to bed.

I enjoyed today, probably the best we spent before we met our RADP friends.

Act Eight.

Tuesday 18th July in the year 2000 AD.

Be not solitary, be not idle.

Robert Burton (1577-1640)

Today marked the start of the second week, I read somewhere recently, probably looking for quotations for each day that one philosopher suggested that the question wasn't was the glass half full or half empty, more is the glass too small. Well I guess I'm a pessimist as I thought the holiday was half over. However, the one plan is that the first week is commando mode and the second week is for taking life a bit more easy, and on this trip meeting friends.

So to mark the change in pace, and to rest from a hectic week which coupled with a extremely long day yesterday, that today would official be a rest day.

So in that spirit, we didn't get up until 9-30am. After getting up I decided to take some "hydro-therapy", which means I laid in the bath for half an hour, actually I fell asleep in the bath, it was so warm and comfy.

We went out at about 10-30am, and got the bus to the MK, and then the ferryboat to Wilderness Lodge. We had never been there before, but we had an idea what it would be like, because we stayed for New Year at Sequoia Lodge at Disneyland Paris in 98/99. ( We haven't always slummed it in the cheap accommodation you know.)

The main purpose of the trip was to let Greg and Ed have a go on the watermice. I gave them strict instructions about where they could go, which really meant that they were not allowed to go over the canal to the MK side of the Contempt. I told them I would be watching them with the telephoto lens of the video camera, and they would be in big bother if they did not stick to the rules. Actually I wanted to go to look around the lodge, and they just become white dots after 10 seconds, but if you can't con your Kids it is time to give up.

I thought that it was a right of passage, giving the boys some responsibility and letting them have some fun at the same time. Unfortunately Jill was having Kittens, with fear at them going off on such a dangerous adventure. So after they sped away, we went for a nosey around the lodge.

We thought that the pool was no great shakes, but that the lobby was very imposing and nice. I enjoyed sitting in the great big arm chairs for a rest. Remember this is officially Rest Day, so don't get mad at a man resting on rest day.

I still prefer the Grand Flo lobby, but this was a serious and well respected adversary to that lobby. No violinist though, shame.

We then went back to the dock to pick up our seafarers who had been sailing around Discovery Island at full pelt. They had had a great time, and Greg would have stayed on the boats all day. Not at $20 per half hour though. We then went back to the All Star Movies for lunch, and we had a sleep until 4-30pm. You might have noticed that we are just as professional at having a rest as we are at commando mode. I can kip (kip = short sleep.) with the best of them. In fact at University I was known as "Captain Kipper".

We then went down to Downtown Disney for our main shopping trip, this was so we could use our Am EX 15% discount, certainly worth having. I bought Mickey Filofax, which I later gave to Jill in a complicated deal, for a Mickey Mouse Watch, and an option on a Palm Pilot. Jill bought a Watch, not the one in the deal. (It's too hard to explain, so I won't bother.) The boys got some stuff and we got the obligatory presents for people back in the sunny UK.

Jill went to Disney Quest with the boys for a couple of hours, and I took the foodstuff back to the All Star Movies. We met up, after a mega slow and painful journey for me, at the Fort Wilderness Campfire. (Some idiotic bus driver sent me on Crocket when I needed Boon, or something. Also the guy with the secret camera at the All Star Movies, kept the bus I needed away from the stop.)

I was expecting some cosy campfire, not Wembley Stadium. So it wasn't as intimate as I had hoped. The Cast Member Singing was, well I'm sorry to say this dreadful. We bought a S'mores kit, which I suppose was fun in a sticky sort of ways. I thought they were a bit rich and dry though, so I ate just the one and refused any others, and therefore, renamed the "No Mores"

We watched the first thirty minutes of "The Little Mermaid" on the big screen and then went via the, dare I admit this TTC, ( I vowed never to ever go there again last year.) to MGM. We then entered into the park at 10.08pm, this must be a Larry record. Not going into a park until that time at night. (Jill and the boys had been to DQ, so I don't think they can claim this as a record.)

All the rides were busy, so we didn't do any, but we went to the 11pm showing of Fantasmic. I enjoyed Fantasmic, a great deal as usual. Some things bare repeat viewing and this is different for different people. For example I can't bare Main Street Electrical Parade. I don't mind the music that much, I just find it boring. ( I love Spectromagic, though, so I cant be a light bulb aversion.)

Fantasmic, is however something I could see several times in a trip. Though the waiting is a bit of a pain in the proverbial. So I enjoyed it as much as ever, and the dragons flame worked this time. ( Coffee Creamer, really, that is so inventive. I must try throwing some on our open fire this winter to see what happens.)

So we went back and did what is the only sensible thing on Rest Day, we went to bed. Night Night Folks. Sleep Well.

Act Nine.

Getting caught is the mother of invention.

Robert Byrne.

Wednesday 19th July in the year 2000 AD

Today was the last day that we would spend on our own, the last part of the trip is going to be spent with friends form RADP. Although yesterday was the official rest day, we were still feeling worn out from the first week of Fantastic Frenzied Fun. So we didn't rush to get up but we decided that we would go to Animal Kingdom, this was the most neglected park on this trip. I'm not sure why, it just was.

After the usual, cheapo breakfast in the room, and Larry's trip to the food court to get the coffee. I think I must have been still a bit tired, because I got the lift back up to the room. Normally I would bound up the steps three at a time (like a gazelle, a fat 41 year old gazelle.) but old age was slowing me down. Oh by the way a lift is an Elevator, in case you were wondering.

Anyway we got the bus to AK, which is good because it is near the All Star Movies. We arrived about 10-20am and we went for FP to Kali Raft Ride, we were at this point getting six Fastpasses for the four of us, but managing to get two rides each by putting a filler in-between upside down, and pretending we had four. A sort of double fastpass scam. This worked fine on the two trips on Kali. On one trip, we were with a family who had this muscle man father, who looked mean and hard, and seemed to be at Disney on sufferance. Did he get soaked?, did I really enjoy this?, did I laugh my socks off at him?. Yes, Yes oh Yes!!

Then we went for our second ride, getting away with the Fastpass Scam again, Greg smugly saying as we palmed the dodgy tickets to the CM. "A sucker born every minute." I wish I hadn't laughed at this! Then of course I got my payback for laughing at the Neanderthal Bloke, because I got soaked though, and when we came off I took off my T-shirt and I wrung out seven and a half gallons of water. Hey this is Florida, and the temp hit 100 degrees that day, and I was dry in two shakes of a lambs tail.

I then headed to Dino Land, and got six Fastpasses to make into eight as usual from the machines and Jill went to Pizzaffari for lunch. We had Pizza's and Caesar Salads to share. I noticed that Disney were employing a older cast member, to clear the tables. I have noticed that older people are employed by Disney, which is good, but they always seem to get menial jobs which is not so good.

Then we went to Countdown to Extinction, and went into the fast pass line. The only trouble was the cast member, took the four tickets, saw that one was upside down, and turned it over, saw that it was a blank one, and was not impressed that I had tried to con him, and I was caught red handed. Anyway I managed to bluff my way on the ride, by finding a good one I had saved for a second ride. But he knew what I was up to. So I never tried that one again. Woops. 10/10 for Mister Observant Cast Member.

After this we went to The Festival of the Lion King. Now I enjoy this show, and I did this time, but I did feel that it is starting to feel a bit samey. There were two problems, I got stuck in the Warthog Section. I mean a warthog. Who the heck aspires to be a warthog. Even baby warthog, want to be Lions. The second problem was they let two guys come into the show late, and this disturbed everyone around them, Of course they were sat in front of us. Were they sheepish at being late and disturbing us all. No they spent the rest of the show, half standing and half sitting to video the action on there camera and totally spoiling the view of us Wilmot's. Hmmmpppppp Some People........ (At least they probably don't cheat the fastpass system.)

I still enjoy the birdy woman the best, and I actually find the monkeys a bit of a yawn. All that bug picking is so passé these days.

Following the show, we headed back to the All Stars, for some Surge, which I seemed to call Burst for some unexplained reason. Then we got changed into our glad rags, and headed for the Grand Floridian.

The Wilmot's decided to go up market, and attended the Villain character dinner at 1900 Park Fair. Now I have to confess that were a little disappointed with the characters mainly because they were not villainous enough. Cruella was quite nice, King Richard was positively cuddly. Captain Hook and the old crone from Snow White tried their best, but it felt more like Mary Poppins had cast a spell on the room, to keep all the night time guests safe and well. I think it already needs a perk up. I thought the Alien from Alien Encounter, serving some raw meat to the guests might do the trick. Perhaps you might have some suggestions?

The food was nice and even though it was a buffet, asked for clean plates in between visits, and did it as a five course meal. Soup, Fish Course, Meat Course, Dessert, (Pudding to us Yorkshire Folk.) and Cheese and biscuits. This was followed by a Cappuccino that was so large, it seemed as if it was served in a chamber pot.

After the food, we went for a romantic walk to the Poly on the beach. Now this seems a fine idea to me, but there are one or two practical problems having a romantic walk with 9 and 12 year olds in tow. So we insisted that the boys walk 100 yards in front of us. We stopped for a photo at the Wedding Pavilion. Then we saw some of the Water Pageant. Which we hadn't seen before, and is quaint more than anything.

Afterwards we went for a ride on the boats back to WDW, and we attempted to see the fireworks from the Station, but the view was so poor we abandoned this and went back to the Ranch.

Act Ten.

"Larry is Like a Russian, Always Rushing Here and Rushing There" Mr Robertshaw my maths teacher 1973,

Thursday 20th July in the year 2000 AD.

Well Ok folks, I admit it things have been a bit dull for the past couple of days. But what all you critics out there are failing to recognise is that they had to be dull. We needed to rest, you know - if you go to Disney for two weeks, unless you have the energy of the Genie in Aladdin, you have to pace your self a little bit, because if you don't you will collapse and more than likely die. And I can tell you that the Disney Corporation get really mad with guests who one minute are happily riding on Peter Pan, only to collapse and die, falling out of the sky boat and crashing un-ceremoniously onto the skyline of London, crushing Big Ben. And this because they were too silly and arrogant to take a couple of days rest. How selfish. Well that is not Me.

Today was the day when phase three of the Holiday kicked in. We were spending the next three days with RADP friends. The friends we were meeting today were Tom and Leanne and their Grandson Chris. Tom and Leanne are friends of Sue Holland, who you all know and love on RADP. About a year ago Sue suggested that I might like to correspond with Leanne, because she was planning a trip to Scotland, and I might be able to help her. Now in fact, I may live in Scotland, but I know about one percent about Scotland, compared to Leanne. So I didn't help her plan the trip too much, but we became friends through e-mail. When they visited Scotland, we invited them to visit our house, and a delightful day was had by all. I also played golf with Tom and this was great fun, despite the rain. Less said about the result the better, except to say, I suspect Tom is more likely to make the Ryder Cup than me.

So it was great to be able to meet them again in their Country. We decided to get to Magic Kingdom before our meeting time, because we wanted to get some fastpasses so that Chris could go riding with our two boys. So we did EE and got the FP's for Space, we also did the Astro Obiter, Dumbo without the ears, then we went to the Camera Care Centre for our meet, we had a little time to kill so we spent some time with Esmaralda, who seems a nice enough lass, considering she is French, though with a strong American accent.

Now Tom and Leanne arrived, with Leanne in an Electric Buggy, I think that she had has an accident during her two weeks on a work exchange programme, she had gone to Vancouver and was working as a Lumberjack, there had been this terrible incident where her foot had got caught between a Giant Redwood trunk and that of a Moroccan Weeping Willow. I'm not sure of all the details, but the upshot was that her leg was temporarily out of action, and a buggy was needed.

After the usual pleasantries of long lost friends meeting, we strolled up to Tommorrowland, well WE strolled, whilst Leanne, whizzed along like Damon Hill, (He's a Formula One Ex World Champion, a bit like an Indy Cart Champion, except faster.) In fact she spent three days with us Whizzing about, wow is that woman fast. Mind you reversing is another kettle of fish altogether, eh - Leanne!!

Well we used our fast passes, for Space, and we had a few left so the kids did Space on their own. We then headed for Buzz and had a couple of goes at this. I can't remember my highest score this trip as I forgot to write it down, but you can rest assured that it was really good, and definitely better than the kids, oh yes no doubt about that. When the Kids can beat me, I'm going to stop paying for them to come to Disney - so if either of you are reading this, can I suggest that it is really not in your interest to actually beat me. Just a thought for you to ponder.

After my sterling performance as a Space Ranger in the Green Squadron we went for a walk (whiz) to Frontierland. We got some fastpasses for Splash, and then we split into three, Tom, Leanne and I went to the Hall of the Presidents. Jill took Greg and Chris on the Haunted Manson, and Ed looked at some shops. I enjoyed the Hall of presidents more this time, but I was disappointed that it wasn't full of Americans cheering and being patriotic, because I wanted to make fun of them with Tom. He reckoned that the audience were all from overseas.

We then went for our trip on Splash. Greg pointed out his Hidden Mickey to Chris, this is three fishing floats, by the frog who is fishing. We then let the kids ride again. I in a fit of spontaneous kindness, agreed to stake out the exit, to wait for the kids, Tom and Jill went to the Diamond Horseshoe, to buy us all lunch, and Leanne, waited for the kids to do the drop so she could photograph them.

Afterwards we all met up in the Saloon, and had a nice lunch of Turkey Sandwiches, or the like. The show was great fun again. I preferred the singing cowboy from the last show I saw, but this one was ok too. The magician was really great and Chris and Greg were involved in his act. Fortunately Tom and I were left alone by the dancing girls. Not that we would have minded, but not much point when the wives are there. ( Joke, gals - Joke!!)

Post lunch, we went to Fantasyland, and I wasn't in the mood for riding, so the others went on lots of the rides there, like "It's a long song", and Peter Pan. I stole a ride on Leanne's buggy, and whizzed around like a drunken driver, mowing aside those without "eyes in the back of their heads". Quite enjoyed this, probably more than a trip on Snow White.

We then left the park, for a cooling trip to Epcot on the monorail. As I remember it was quite a hot day that day, (fancy that in the middle of July). When we got into the park, we walked, (Whizzed) past the mausoleum and then the boyz headed to Test Track Single Rider Line, and the galz, went to Michael Flatulence's "Bored of the Dance." Actually for some unknown reason they seemed to quite enjoy this. Though Jill did confess that the two violin lasses were not as good as last year's pair.

The TTSL took 37 minutes, which was very slow, but much faster than the regular line. Much faster, and I am starting to really enjoy TT. Last year I was less keen, but it is growing on me, and I think that it was this trip that I saw my Hidden Mickey, but it might not have been. Unlike some of my RADP comrades, I don't actually make that detailed notes. I have a sort of outline sketched in, and the rest I fill by a combination of rambling and down right lying. ( Oh you hadn't spotted that, sorry.)

Then we went for the RADP's favourite a Kaki Gori, this time I had watermelon, hmmmmm yummy. Funny because I don't like watermelon.

We then went to Britain, so that we could make Tom and Leanne welcome in our country. I persuaded Tom to have some Fish and Chips at Harry Ramsden's. They told me that they had had some F and C's in London, and they were not nice. Well, I'm afraid that softy southerners, don't know how to make Fish and Chips, or Yorkshire Pudding, so next summer when they visit the UK again, I will take them to a proper Fish and Chip Shop. Eh Bah Gum Lad.

We then watched ToN and the British Cast Members, who were still acting as if they had overdosed on happy pills, directing the vast flow of traffic. We argued with some people who at the last minute stood in front of us. Well the mother stood in front of us, their children did the best Kung Fu exhibition I have ever seen, shame I was trying to watch the parade, or I could have given it much more of my attention. (Boy that is so annoying at parades.) After the parade, the women went shopping, (oh shock.) Tom went to look at the Golf Shop, ( oh shock.) and I chilled out on the pavement (sidewalk.) and gave my attention to the sweet Liverpudlian sounds of the British Invasion. ( u ore-right wack.- wotz it got to do with u?)

After our infusion of British Pastiche Culture, we went to give Ellen's wit, the benefit of our presence, and learnt how wonderful burning fossil fuels is, and how great the resultant rise in sea height will be due to global warming, and how fantastic it will be for me personally given I live literally about 10 foot above sea level. Thanks Exxon, you are doing a fantastic job. Quite like Ellen though, and you all know by now, that Bill Nye the Science Guy and me are almost blood brothers.

Tom then headed off to the posh DVC accommodation the rich get to stay in. Leanne Chris and the Wilmot's went to see Illuminations, which was delayed by 15 minutes by this massive rain storm, the Kidz shop was packed like sardines during this. But the electrical storm was fantastic to watch. I felt that it was like God was saying, "Disney might put on a show for you guys, but they can't beat me!" Leanne, seemed to be having kittens trying to keep her buggy dry, so that might have detracted from the two firework shows.

Illuminations was great, but I enjoyed the lightning more.

After this it was time to head home.

Act Eleven.

Friday 21st July in the year 2000 AD.

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

Jewish Proverb

Today is a day we had been looking forward to for some time. The first meeting with the Diva of DVC, the possessor of 20,000 DVC points. Sue (WDW1972) Holland. I had been chatting through e-mail with Sue for over a year. It is always nice to put a real face to the photo, and a voice to the words. Sue is also such a RADP and AOL "Star", I had been showing off about meeting her for ages, so as Captain Picard would say, I was keen to "make it so."

Originally I was due to meet Sue and her son Chris the next day, but she had decided to drive from home earlier in the day, and so she had arranged with Leanne and Tom, to meet us all that morning. Sue is clearly a person who needs about three minutes sleep a day, so she was off at the crack of Dawn, and despite driving for miles, she managed to be at MGM on time. We of course, managed to be late. Sue was very polite about this. (Didn't even put it in her trip report)

Straight away, I was impressed with Sue's generosity, because she got me a pack of Star Trek cards from the Star Trek exhibit at Las Vegas. Thanks Sue. (I'm a bit of a Trecky. I was going to say that I'm not one of those freaks, who dresses up or anything, but that would be a lie, because I went to a Millennium Night Party, as a Klingon Warrior. The forehead, that looks like a Cornish pasty took me three days to make. I was supposed to be cooking the Christmas Dinner, but I was busy making my wig and outfit all of Christmas Day, which as you can imagine impressed Jill no end.)

After chatting with Chris,Chris , Sue, Tom and Leanne, we went over to get FP's for ToT and RnR. This was mainly because our Kids and younger Chris and Me wanted to do some thrill riding. Our holiday was coming to an end. (I was sad about this at the time, though now I think, wow soon I will have finished writing this trip report and I can start to have a life again.) We wanted to get some in. It will be some time before we come to WDW again.

The other adults were very patient, and went to do some shopping whilst we rode. After riding the fast rides, we went to ride the Great Movie Ride, Greg wanted to point out to the other youngsters his Hidden Mickey. (grapes, in the Tarzan section.) I sat with Sue and we had a chance to chat for the first time. She was explaining the difference between the "worlds " actors and the people who try the best on this ride, but and I think you know what we mean, are not really actors, despite I'm sure they try their best. In fact I now think that part of the rides charm is due to the seriously lame acting, which makes Am Dram, seem like the Royal Shakespeare Company.

"Darling what are you doing after Othello finishes," "Oh I have a season as the Chicago Hoodlum on the Great Movie Ride" " Oh Sweetie - who did you have to sleep with to get that role"

I guess that I actually enjoy the film at the end, mainly because I find a film I haven't spotted each time I ride. At least they have the USS Enterprise, to recognise the role of the Trek universe.

After the ride to Hollywood we went to the 50's Prime Time Café, and I have to say that we had a ball. The waitress was fun, the best bit was that she gave us all names.

Let's see if I can remember them all. (Of course I can, I wrote them down.)

In no particular order.

Ed = Scooter.

Greg = Buddy

Little Chris = Skippy

Big Chris = Sparky.

Sue = Princess. (aaahhh.)

Tom = Spanky.

Jill = Peggy Sue

Leanne = Mary Jo

Larry = Biff.

Of course we spent most of the rest of the day in character. Especially Spanky, who spent the entire day telling us that Spanky is a good boy. I decided that as Biff I should be a Bad Boy, not like that squeaky clean Spanky. Later in the Magic Kingdom, a woman was photographing her daughter, and behind her back I made horns with my fingers and made them grow out of her head, the daughter was laughing, and I'm sure that, Spanky split on me to the mother.

Anyway I digress, back to the tale. Mary Jo, didn't eat her greens, so she had to be fed. I was so cross when, despite this she was given a clean plate sticker, which she didn't deserve, that I told the waitress that the moral decline of the 50's that she was encouraging would lead, no doubt to trouble. Wait until the 60's you can bet it will be all promiscuity. Just you wait and see.

After this morally uplifting lunch, we went to the Indy Stunt Show. Now I could be wrong but I think Sue was just as bored as me at this. And I have only seen it once before. I spent most of the time watching the extras back stage whom I could see, and noticing that they get a can of poweraide for helping. I never got one as a BEET. (Did I tell you I was a BEET.... Yes. Ah, never mind, it is worth repeating. Ad nauseum.) I don't know why the show is so boring you would think that it would be great, it just simply isn't. I prefer Tarzan Rocks. And Doug of course, (I'm a BEET you know!)

Anyway we decided to split into several groups, and to split from MGM in a variety of directions. My direction north to the Grand Flo, where Greg wanted to buy a particular T- Shirt he had seen.

After this we went to bed for a Kip.

Jill, My Social Secretary arranged for us to meet Tom, Leanne and little Chris, at MK. So after a nice doze. We went to MK. First of all we wanted to eat. Now there are some things that I needed to try, which you RADPers have rattled on about in the several thousand TR's that I have read. One was the Clam Chowder at the Columbia House Snapping Joint. This was served in a concrete re-enforced bread bowl. Now I didn't eat much of the bread bowl, mainly because I didn't have a compressor and a pneumatic drill to cut it into bits. I did eat the clam chowder, first time I've been near a clam. Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed eating this. However, I was convinced that it tasted just like Chicken Soup. Which is strange because a couple of days ago I ate a Tuna Melt at the Prime Time, and I thought that tasted like chicken as well. Now either Florida Fish, tastes just fowl. Or my taste buds are cream crackered. Perhaps I should try some chicken, maybe that will taste like swordfish or something.

After our pleasant eat and chat, we went to do some riding on the Haunted Mansion. Afterwards I spent ages looking for the flipping wedding ring, but I couldn't find it and the CM wouldn't show me where it is. (Rotters)

Than we looked at the Big Thunder queue, and decided to give it a miss. We then rode Pirates all together. Yo Ho. This seems to get shorter each time I ride it. I think that Disney are stealing scenes and shipping them to Paris for DLP.

We then tried the second gastronomic Radp Suggestion of the night, a dole whip. Nice - but Kaki Gori still holds top spot for moi.

Than we did Lion King show, courtesy of the Electric Ferrari of Leanne, we went to the front row. There was a bit of a problem sorting the seating out, which didn't make Jill too happy, as she ended up not having a seat, but she sorted the offending guests out and things were tickety boo again. Enjoyed the show, though it is a very fast and abrupt telling of the tale.

Then it was time to go for Ed and I. We got stuck getting out of the park, because of the Main Street Electrical Parade, and he was so upset and tired, that he started to cry because he couldn't stand the music any more. (I know what he means.) So I had to put my hands over his ears. I ended up buying a packet of skittles to make him cheer up a bit. Jill and Greg stayed longer and watched the firework display.

So in summery - a very pleasant day, spent with good cyber friends.

Act Twelve.

Saturday 21st July in the Year 2000 AD.

"Look at me: I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."

Groucho Marx .

Today was set aside to spend with our friends from RADP. Sadly today was the last day that we would be able to spend with Tom, Leanne and Chris, and then this would be for only a short time. We would have time to spend most of the day with Sue and Chris.

Our American Chums were also kind enough to come and pick us up in their luxurious American Automobiles. Now whilst Disney Transportation in my opinion much maligned. ( Actually quite a bit by me.) In reality it is pretty darn fine. When you consider the complexity of transporting over 100,000 guests each day, in all directions. I think they do a fine job. Still not as nice as some kindly souls coming and picking you up though is it?

So Sue and Tom et al, came with their wheels to pick us up. Thanks folks. Now I know that all you WDW1972 fans out there are expecting me to give you the "inside track" on our Diva, but being an Englishman, and a soul of discretion, I can only say, that you will have to meet her and find out everything for your self. Though I am, and I hope Sue forgives me, prepared to give you one snippet of information. Sue can actually drive...... She has a car with a gear lever. She knows when to change up and when to change down. She doesn't rely on the car figuring it out for her. How very un -American.

Our destination for the morning was the Yacht and Beach Club. Now Sue and I have a little bit of a laugh about me staying each time at the Poor Mans Retreat, i.e. the All Star Movies, and her at the Rich Woman's Play Ground of the DVC. So it was arranged that she would show me the errors of my ways, and take me to sample the delights of all that the DVC can offer. One of them undoubtedly is that you get to use all the pools. Now the one at the Y and B Club is the star turn. Stormalong Bay is almost a Water Park in it's own right. We had a great time, I enjoyed the Ship Water Slide, I particularly liked the sand at the bottom of the drop, very comfy on the bum, on landing. I also enjoyed conning Jill in to having a "wee shotty" on it. I was just generally impressed.

(Now I don't want Sue to know just how impressed I was, so if you are chatting to her, I want you not to tell her I said this. I shall as is my norm, send her a copy of my Trip Report, but I'm cutting this bit out, so you have got to promise not to tell her - OK.)

After a swim and a slide, I spent a good hour chatting to Sue, and it was really great to have the chance to have as we say, "a good natter." We then had lunch from the swimming pool kiosk, I had a Cape Cod Wrap thingy, which was nice. Tom and Leanne and little Chris had to depart just before lunch, so that was sad, but I suspect that we will be meeting again next spring or summer in Bonnie Scotland, so knowing that was nice. We were sad to see them go though.

After lunch, we split up for a little while, Jill and I went back to the hotel for a "Kip". Big Chris, Greg and Ed, took a bus to Downtown Disney to play at Disney Quest for the afternoon. (Cyber Baby Sitter, as I called it.) Sue went of doing Sue Things, (See Sue's TR for details.)

We were then to meet up later in the day, at Epcot. We got the bus there, and were just about on time, though Sue had been in the park for sometime. We then decided that it was time for some "Tea". Now that Leanne was on her way home, it was safe to go to Morocco, and so we went there for a bite to eat. The food their was very nice, and two pieces of WDW1972, magic, took place. I suddenly wanted to share a sandwich with Jill. Nothing too strange about that, except that normally I want to share a sandwich with Jill after eating a three course meal, but this was just the sandwich. The Diva's influence is clearly rubbing off on me. Secondly Sue met Macflash from RADP, and Macflash was following Sue's TR's and was so pleased to meet Sue, she was so clued up and knew who I was. She also knew that Sue would eat a Tomato Salad. I was quite impressed at Sue's Fame. And meeting Macflash was nice too. She and her family were very nice, and took some photos of Sue Jill and I together, with everyone's cameras. All of which turned out nice.

After this brief encounter, we continued to perambulate around the lagoon. We saw all three ToN parades, which was great. It also meant that we had listened to "Kayla, Waila", for about forty minutes, which seriously put the tune into my head for ever. ( It is quite different in parts on the CD though, I guess they have changed the parade music, since the CD was cut.... London Symphony Orchestra, btw. Nothing like a good bit of British Culture, to brighten up the day of our American Friends.)

One thing never ceases to amaze me though, is how do Disney Manage to write such catchy tunes. They never fail. There films, and particularly there parades, and shows have fantastic tunes. (IASW - excepted.)

Larry's Fav Parade Tunes, in Order.

Spectromagic.

ToN

It's Time to Remember the Magic.

And it's Huddersfield Town, Huddersfield Town FC, the Greatest Team in Football (not soccer.) the World has ever seen. ( That might not be Disney, but it's a great tune.)

We then went for a ride on Test Track using the single rider option, (Is there another?) I pointed out to Sue the under car wheels. It took about 17 minutes to get on the ride. Which was better than the previous go. On one of the trips as a single rider, I got to ride with five women in a group. And boy did they make some din, screaming and hollering. I said to the one sat next to me, that women are supposed to make" bad drivers not passengers" (Woops, politically incorrect - Sorry.)

After our trip around the track, it was time to head to Downtown Disney, we went I think in Sue's Car. We had a lovely cheese cake. One thing you can say about Sue, she knows where to find the high quality goodies to eat. Yum Yum. Whilst Sue was at the counter buying nosh, I was reading her TR on the internet, to get her perceptions on our day together. ( Actually I was checking if she was being nice about me. Not that I'm paranoid or anything. Did I tell you I'm sure someone was following me today.)

Before we departed, we introduced Sue to the Pirates of the Caribbean at DQ, and I think she found the first go, more one of learning the attraction than enjoying it, but I notice that she has been on it since, and enjoys it. Yippee, I can claim to have introduced Sue to a new attraction, 10 points to me.

Great Day, thanks to Sue, Chris, Tom, Leanne and Chris (MK II)

After saying our Good Bye's, it was off to Beddy Bye's.

Thanks for reading this episode, in the exciting Saga, of Larry Spends the Family's life savings. Just three more days left.

Act Thirteen.

Sunday 23rd July in the year 2000 AD.

PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.

Ambrose Bierce

Well as they say in Plumpton, "Time flies bye when you're the driver of a train and you ride on the footplate there and back again." Time really is flying by. Now most of you don't know too much about me, but I do have some "psychology" in my background, so if you will allow a little indulgence, I would like to proffer, no, advance a theoretical analysis of the comparative reasons why we British tend to go for trips longer than the Americans, My belief is that there are two major reasons for this. One is psychological and the other is more interesting and is really a historical hang up from our post industrial development in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.

Firstly, despite the modern age of quick transportation. The three thousand mile barrier of the Atlantic is also a physiological one. Even though it takes me no longer to fly from England to Florida, than it does for me to drive from the North of Scotland to Yorkshire, to visit my dear old mum. There seems to be an almost mythical quality of hopping over the pond to the states. I think that this is the reason why, people regard in Britain a visit to Walt Disney World, as a "trip of a lifetime". In fact some people see me as being almost obscene, in visiting three times in three years. Yet I calculated that the cost of our family trip for a year, costs no more than one of my colleagues spends on smoking in a year. And we are not endangering our health by taking the trip, in fact one could say that it promotes the good mental health of our family, having this reward for a years hard efforts to look forward to. So when we (the British) decided that we are coming to the USA and to Walt Disney World, we feel that we should make the most of this. People are also concerned that jet lag, will mean that they will find the first few days difficult, they believe that they need time to recover from the hardship of the journey. (Certainly true if you travel Icelandic Air.... See Tuesday 25th.) So two weeks is the natural time to maximise our trip. The charter operators tend also to work in 7 and 14 day units. Though with scheduled flights and direct booking, 4, 9, 11 days are just as possible.

The second reason, is an historical one. The pattern of holidays, in Britain goes back to the time, when factories and communities all closed down together. So Huddersfield would have the first two weeks in July, and Bradford would have the third and fourth weeks. People tended to like to get to the seaside to let their hair down. So for the first two weeks in July, you could bet your bottom dollar, that if you walked down the prom in Blackpool, and you were from Huddersfield, you would be bumping into people from home all the time. Now things have changed, in the post industrial decline of Britain, the growth of service industries, has meant that the two week holiday on set dates is a thing of the past. However, some things linger, and people still think of holidays in terms of weeks. Though things are changing the Weekend Ci