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Kevin Burk -- January 2001 -- Walt Disney World (Offsite)Details:
THE PLAYERS:
A LITTLE BACKGROUND: As mentioned above, I'm a little more than obsessed with Disney. In 1996, I took my life-long Disney fascination to the next step, and became a CM with the local Disney Store when it opened. From there, the quest for All Things Disney became stronger. During my time with the Disney Store, I studied and worked towards the annual National Disney Trivia Challenge. Persistence (along with tons of reading and watching late-night Disney Channel) paid off, and in October 1999, I won the Disney Store's National Trivia Showdown. It was amazingly fun, and truly the highest honor I have ever received. The other finalists and I celebrated with a parade in our honor down Main Street at Disneyland, lunch at Club 33, a backstage tour of Disneyland and Walt's firehouse apartment led by Disney archivist Dave Smith, and when I returned home, I had the honor of displaying the official Disney Trivia trophy in my store for a year. Unfortunately, the contest was phased out after I won, so I will go down in the history books as the final Disney Store trivia winner. So being someone who spent the large majority of 3 years learning about Uncle Walt and the company he built, I became somewhat of a "Disney Traditionalist". I became fascinated with the "classic" side of Disney, reading and studying about the early days of Animation in Hollywood and then Burbank, the fantasy that become Disneyland, and the 78 years of happiness that have come out of one man's dream. In the end, I came to fully respect exactly what it was that made The Walt Disney Company so magical for so many. And this is knowledge I wouldn't trade for anything. Okay, enough about me. I'll explain what's up with the black beans now. ABOUT THE BEANS: It's a long story, so I'll sum it up as such: My friend Gary and I have passed back and forth the same can of black beans for 8 years now, usually as a birthday or Christmas present. Anyway, we always make sure it goes on vacation with us, and take pictures of it in every location we can. The can has been all over the United States, plus to Holland, China, Mexico, the Philippine islands, and Canada. I run a Web site with photos of the beans, appropriately enough called "Beans Around The World." http://www.beansaroundtheworld.com/ The beans have been to WDW once before, but it was time for them to go back for some more fun with Mickey and friends. I know it's strange, but hey - that's what makes it fun. Check it out! TRIP PLANNING: Having spent many, many, many (you wouldn't believe how many) months studying nothing but Disney, there wasn't much research needed for this trip. We had originally planned on going to Florida for a full week in May, but it has been an awfully long winter so far here in Iowa (I haven't seen my lawn since the 5th of November; it's still buried under a foot of snow...), and when the airlines put on a fare sale for January, I squeezed out every ounce of charm I had to convince Mary that we really needed to go - the sooner, the better. The fact that at the time of my whining it was 17 below zero outside our front door helped drive my point home, but the e-mails I would send her with the current temperature in Orlando worked their magic, too. Heh, heh. I'm not above getting to WDW by any means necessary. So on January 3rd, my conniving and immature sniveling finally paid off, and Mary agreed that a short trip to Florida would be fun. Bless you, Mary - you're a good sport. We also decided not to tell our daughter, and make it a total surprise for her. As a Dad I don't get many opportunities to totally spring things like this on her, so I thought it would be fun to catch her off guard. For airfare and hotel, I used Expedia, which has always worked out well for me. The airfare sale from Omaha to Orlando was for $132 RT, which for anyone who has ever had to fly out of the Midwest knows, is a screaming deal. I went for a package through Expedia which got us RT air on Delta and four nights hotel (off-site) for $216 each. As a CM I could have checked into a CM rate to stay on site, but the off-site package at Comfort Suites was too good to pass up - a one bedroom suite, full breakfast, and it was only 2 miles from the park. I don't mind staying off-site; sometimes it's nice to see what else is happening in Central Florida. For a rental car, I booked on-line though Dollar Rent A Car, using Promotion code "KISS". This got me an "compact" car for $24.99 a day. I like having a rental car, because I hate having to wait on other people to get around.. I had Disney Store CM park passes saved up, so I didn't need to buy any admission tickets. We also planned on a visit to Disney Quest on Thursday evening. All right - enough with the "pre-talk". Let's get on to the fun stuff! DAY 0 - THE NIGHT BEFORE WE LEFT Okay, I'll be honest here - a couple of things happened earlier than that. I promise to be brief. Thursday the 11th - My full time employer announced lower-than-expected 4th quarter earnings, and an immediate 12% reduction in work force. ("Right-sizing", they had the nerve to call it.) In all, 3,000 people were about to lose their jobs. Being the newest writer in our group, I went home that evening with a bad feeling brewing. In 6 days, I was set to go to WDW; would I come back and have a job? The trip was paid for; if I decided to stay home and see what happened at work, I'd be out of the money I'd already spent. So I went home and talked with Mary about it, and we decided to wait and see what happened before panicking. If things did turn ugly, then we'd still go, but try to spend as little as possible while there. Friday the 12th - We were called into a staff meeting, and were told that for now, our department would be spared from any internal job cutbacks. The sigh of relief was huge, but we still knew that layoffs were going to happen all around us, so while we were glad to be safe for now, it was still a difficult day for our friends and co-workers. I immediately called Mary afterwards with the good news, and went back to planning for our trip. Saturday the 13th - It snowed really hard here; 6 inches of heavy wet snow fell in a few hours. But the weather forecast was still calling for dry conditions on Tuesday and Wednesday for both Sioux City and Omaha. Having made the 90-mile trip to Omaha in the snow before, and being fresh out of sled dogs, I really didn't want to do that again. Interstate 29 in Iowa is lousy enough when its sunny and dry; but ice makes it that much worse. Plus, it's no picnic to get all the way down there to find out that the plane has been cancelled. SUNDAY AND MONDAY THE 14TH AND 15TH - NO MORE SNOW. YEAH! I called Katie's school on Monday to request her homework for Thursday and Friday (Wednesday was a teacher prep day of some sort, so there was no school), and I also asked the secretary that she please not tell Katie that she was leaving town, since she didn't know yet. Well, what's the first thing that they do? They call her into the office, and tell her. It's a good thing that I didn't tell the office staff exactly where it was that we were going. Some people can't keep a secret, I guess. So Katie calls Mary from home after school, and immediately starts bugging her, "Where are we going? Where are we going?" Mary plays it cool, and tells her that we'd discuss it that night. Mary then calls me, and we cook up a story of why we had to go to Omaha on Tuesday night. As it turns out, we didn't need an alibi. Katie asked where we were going, we told her Omaha, and she never questioned it beyond that. She just assumed we were going to Omaha for a day of fun, which we have done before. Fortunately, she never did wonder why we were packing so many suitcases for an overnight trip. So the surprise was still there - whew, this had been tough. Fooling a clever 13 year-old is harder than it looks. TUESDAY THE 16TH - THE LONGEST DAY When you're a kid, the longest day in your life is usually a tie: Christmas Eve, or the day before your birthday. Well, when you're a kid my age (35+), and a Disney fanatic, the longest day is always the one before you leave for a Disney park. I kept busy on Tuesday at work by writing new product information for an upcoming software release. It's dry stuff, but hey - someone had to do it, and it kept me from watching the clock too closely. 5:00 finally came around, and I bolted out the door and to my car before the second hand could reach 5:00:02. I got home around 5:30, and Mary and Katie were just about ready to go. We packed a few last minute things, then hit the road for the first time around 5:45. I say "The first time", because about 5 miles away it dawned on me that Katie's second suitcase, the one that I had packed with her swimsuit and enough clothes for a 5 day vacation, was still sitting in my closet, where it had been hidden. Oops. So we turned around, I grabbed the bag, and off we went AGAIN. We got to Omaha around 7:30, and checked into our hotel. The Sleep Inn was just a few blocks from the airport, was nice and clean, and offered a free continental breakfast beginning at 4:00 A.M. This was nice; most of the time you are offered breakfast like this, you miss out if you're an early traveler. We dropped off our stuff, then went into Omaha to Olive Garden for dinner. While eating, we talked about all of the things we could do the next day while in Omaha - maybe go to the zoo, or a movie, and Katie went along with it, hook line and sinker. It was obvious to us that she had no idea what wonderful surprise was about to take place. Heh heh. We got back to the hotel and fell asleep around 10:00; the 5:00 AM wakeup call was backed up with an alarm clock set for 5:05. (I wasn't taking any chances!) As it turns out, I was so wound up and excited I didn't sleep much anyway, and by 3:30 I was wide awake. In a few hours I'd be on my way to Walt Disney World - how cool was that??? DAY 1 - WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17, 2001 As previously mentioned, I was awake by 3:30, ready to go. I tried to remain calm, but the excitement was seeping through. I called Delta's automated flight info hotline; all flights were still on time. So far, so good. 5:00 finally came around, and I shook Mary awake, then snuck out for the Continental breakfast. I grabbed some mini-muffins, some coffee for Mary, and some cereal for Katie, then headed back to the room. At 5:30 Mary and I woke Katie up, who wandered the room like a zombie for a few minutes. She couldn't figure out why we were up so early - this was vacation, after all. We gave Katie a couple of minutes to wake up, then sat her and gave her a present. On our last trip to Orlando in 1997 it rained cats, dogs, and other small mammals for the first 3 days, so we all got to know our plastic ponchos really well. ("Pinchos", as Katie called them...) Anyway, I had wrapped up a plastic poncho in a Disney Store Mickey box, with a note that said, "You might need this where we're going." Tucked inside the poncho was a Magic Kingdom park map. Katie opened the note first, read it, and looked at us with a total blank stare. She then opened the box and found the poncho, but it still wasn't registering. (Have I mentioned that it's 5:40 in the morning, and this is a 13 year old girl we're talking about???) I finally told her to open the poncho and see what was inside. So she did, and found the park map. It was then that the following conversation took place: Katie: "Disneyland?" Her Clever Father: "No, Disney World. Orlando." Katie: "Are we going there?" Her Smug Father, Smiling: "Yes." Katie, Still Not Getting It: "When?" Her Father, Now Wishing That The Light Bulb Would Go On: "In about 20 minutes. Hurry up and get dressed." Ding. The light bulb DID go on, and it was amazing - Katie was magically awake!!! In between getting dressed and gulping down Froot-Loops, Katie babbled at 100 miles an hour. "I can't believe you guys did this! I thought we were just going to the zoo!" When I asked her if it had ever dawned on her that maybe we were staying a little TOO close to the airport to be just a coincidence, or gee whiz, we had packed a "Thurston and Lovie Howell" amount of clothes for just an overnight trip, she said no - she had no idea. So my plan had been 100 percent successful. She's a great kid, but she'd make a lousy detective. I need to give her some more Agatha Cristie books to read. It was 6:00 AM and 20 degrees above zero when we left the hotel and drove the chilly 1/2 mile to the airport. It was $8 a day to park covered about 100 yards from check-in; a good deal if you ask me. I decided it was best to pay the extra $2 a day and park right at the airport versus parking off-site; in the event it snowed while we were gone I didn't want to have to come back and then dig my car out. We checked in at the Delta counter without much wait, stuffed our winter coats into the suitcases, then made our way up to the gate. I sat and waited for a few minutes while Mary and Katie went off in search of a new magazine. By the time they came back, pre-boarding was just beginning. Soon we were on the plane and learning all about the incredible safety features of the Boeing 737. We pulled out from the gate, then around the corner for a little de-icing (which is a little unsettling when you're sitting above the wing, as we were...), and then before long we were in the air and on our way to Cincinnati. Once we got to Cincinnati we had a scheduled 3 hour layover, which couldn't be helped, but the time did go quickly. I gave Katie a pre-paid calling card, and she spent a good chunk of the time on the pay phone calling her friends back home to report where she was going. Her ear-to-ear smile warmed my heart; to see Katie so happy made Mary and I feel really good. We're not going to get many more chances to enjoy vacations with Katie the Kid, as she is growing up so quickly. We ate lunch at one of the airport restaurants, which was actually pretty good. I had a steak sandwich and Mary had a spicy chicken something-or-another, while Katie had pizza. 3 and a half hours later, we were finally on our way to Orlando. We left Cincinnati about 45 minutes late, due to the incoming flight being late. The plane was packed, and they were requesting people to give up their seats in exchange for $300 travel vouchers, but there was no way I was about to take a voluntary bumping. In the end they did have seats for everyone, but we were packed on pretty tight. Still, the flight was nice and smooth, and we did get a wonderful bag o' heavily salted snack mix and a half can of pop for our efforts. We finally got to Orlando around 3:15, and Mary and Katie went off in search of the luggage while I wandered over to Dollar Rent A Car. The last time I was in Orlando the line for a rental car was really long, but this time there was only one other person ahead of me. When it was my turn, I was waved to the counter by a gentleman that I will now refer to as Mr. Sneer. I call him this because that's exactly what he had - one great big sarcastic sneer. It was obvious that he didn't want to be at work that day - maybe the warm January weather was calling to him, I don't know. Anyway, he was king of the bad attitudes for the day. And other than The Pouter and The Arby's Ditz (you'll meet them later...), they were the only truly rude people I dealt with during the whole trip. Anyway, back to Mr. Sneer. He first tried talking me into a higher priced car. "You'll need something with more power." "No thank you," I smiled. Sneer. "Don't you want something more comfortable than a Neon?" "No thank you. A Neon will work just fine." Another sneer. "Fine. Do you want LCW?" "No, I'm covered by my insurance and my credit card." Sneer, sneer, sneer. "No you're not. We'll bill you directly. This is a No Fault Insurance state, you know." "I'll risk it." It was at this point that Mr. Sneer tried to sell me a whole tank of gas, regardless of how much of it I actually ended up using (which ended up being only about 1/4 tank...). "No thanks, I'll fill it up myself," I smiled less this time. My patience was running out. Yet another sneer. "If you bring it back less than full, we'll charge you $4 a gallon." "That's fine, I'll fill it myself before I bring it back." This time, Mr. Sneer gave me an unexpected bonus - a scoff! "At 5:00 A.M. when you drop it off?" "No, I'll fill it the night before." "You'd better bring it back full." "I promise." To drive his point home, on my receipt he wrote in large capital letters GAS MUST BE FILLED BEFORE RETURNING CAR. It felt like I was 17 again, and being chewed out by my father for something I hadn't even done. Anyway, you get the picture - rude, rude, rude. Finally Mr. Sneer sent me on my way, and I walked back to baggage claim to meet up with Mary and Katie. The bags had already shown up, and they were waiting for me, so we hiked back across the lobby and out to the Dollar car claim. The clerk at this window was actually pleasant, and pointed us to a brown Dodge Neon a couple of slots away. Two things about the car that made me laugh, and then I promise I'll move on: One, the tank was only about 3/4 full. I was really tempted to go yell at Mr. Sneer, but I had places to go, things to do, Mice to visit. Two, on the driver's side window was a great big sticker. In large bold print, it said, "WARNING! AUTO ALARM SYSTEM", and then below this, in little tiny print - about a size 4 font - it read, "may be installed." What - do they think that car thieves are all far-sighted??? Okay, so we're on the road to Kissimmee. 30 minutes and $2.50 in tolls later, we made our way to Hwy 192, the good ol' Irlo Bronson Hwy. Before I left, I had looked up driving directions on-line for the Comfort Suites Maingate. Well, it turns out that on 192 there are TWO Comfort Suite Maingates - East and West. I had the address for the right one, Maingate East, but I had driving directions for Maingate West. So guess where we ended up? Oops. The people at Maingate West were very nice, and pointed me in the right direction. We made our way through some nasty construction, and a few minutes later, hey look! It's the right place! I ran in and checked in while Mary and Katie got the luggage. The Comfort Suite Maingate East is a really nice place - less than a year old, with a nice pool and jacuzzi area that's open 24 hours, an outside bar, a free (and fairly extensive) continental breakfast, laundry, game room, and a small convenience store. The only drawback? Really SLOW elevators that had piped in conga music blaring. Our room was very nice - it was supposed to be a one bedroom suite, and I suppose technically it was, but the "bedroom" wasn't separate - it was one big open room, with a little wall separating the living area from the beds. But it was still a very nice room. We had two queen beds, a small fridge, a microwave, in-room coffee, a small table, a sofa that was supposed to fold out into a sleeper (I don't know if it did - I never tried), and a lot of dresser and closet space. There was also a safe in the closet, but I didn't have a key for it, and I really didn't care. It's not like I bring the Crown Jewels on vacation with me. As an added bonus, there was half of a bottle of Bacardi 100 in the cupboard next to the microwave, left by the previous guests. Apparently, housekeeping never looks up there. It's still there, as far as I know. We dropped off our stuff, changed into some "nicer" clothes, and then left to go have dinner at one of our favorite discoveries, Charley's Steakhouse. It's right on 192, on the same corner as the entrance to Celebration, and across from the Hyatt. We stumbled into Charley's on our last trip, and really enjoyed their steaks, so we were all looking forward to eating there again. Charley's has a large open fire grill inside the entrance, and they make excellent (read: HUGE) steaks. If you like beef, and lots of it, this is the place for you. I ordered the 32-oz Porterhouse, which I split with Katie, and Mary had the strip steak. The food was great, but the service was so-so. The Pout I mentioned earlier? Why, that would be our waitress, who literally stuck out her bottom lip at us when we wouldn't order any of the wonderful wines she rattled off. Then she topped it off with, "I could tell that you had no idea what I was talking about." No, lady - we knew what you meant. We just aren't wine drinkers! In the end, we walked out very full, still sober, and ready for some Disney fun. Now, I suspect that by this point you're saying to yourself, "Man, doesn't this guy ever go to the parks?" Well, here it is... thank you for your patience. It was 6:45 PM when we drove through the gate to Epcot. Normally, it would have seemed foolish to use two park passes with only 2 hours left before closing, but I had my CM passes that were set to expire in June, and it was a "use 'em or lose 'em" situation, so I didn't mind. We were able to park in the second row, and two minutes later, we were in!!! I love Epcot. I really do. But why did they have to build a mausoleum at the main entrance??? Okay, Leave a Legacy isn't that morbid. Still, personally I'd rather have my name on a walkway brick than an etching on a tombstone. I did notice that these monoliths had an awful lot of bank space left on them. It's no wonder that the booths selling the Leave a Legacy engravings were still open, while for the most part, the rest of the Millennium stuff was gone. Above Spaceship Earth, the "2000" sign was half-dismantled; it now said "20". We cut through what was left of Millennium Central and decided to head towards Test Track to see how long the wait would be. The ride had been down for a while, and when we arrived, empty cars were circling the track. We opted for the single rider's line, which only had a few dozen people waiting. About 10 minutes later, we were in and out of the pre-show, and were belted in and ready to roll. It ended up that Katie and I were together in one car, and Mary was in the car behind us. Katie and I rode with four screaming teenage girls, who enjoyed it thoroughly. As for me, I thought the inside stuff was okay, but once you got outside the ride really hits its stride. I know, I know, I'm a speed demon at heart. So the local sheriff has so politely informed me once or twice. After Test Track, we walked over to Ellen's Energy Adventure. The show is okay the first time you see it (this was our third), but the technology of the moving theater still impresses me. The theater ended up being only about 1/3 full, so we had a whole "car" to ourselves. We were happy to get away from the older couple who sat by us in the pre-show who spent the entire time not watching the film, but talking at top volume about the repair costs of their washing machine... Here's my advice to the chatterboxes of America: If you wanna talk, fine. Go buy yourself a cup of coffee or a frozen banana, pull up one of the many benches around the park, and chat, chat, chat. But don't come into the attractions, where others are trying to hear what's going on, and spend the entire time spoiling the experience for everyone else around you. There, I said it. I'll get off my soapbox now. It was 8:50 by the time we left Ellen, Bill, Alex, and Stupid Judy, so we wandered over the front of World Showcase for Reflections of Earth. We were able to find an excellent spot for the show, and about 5 minutes later the music and fireworks were filling the sky. What an excellent production! I loved Illuminations 25 when I saw it previously, but this was something. If you haven't seen Reflections of Earth, I cannot recommend it enough. I am ecstatic that they chose to keep this after the Millennium celebration ended. It was now 9:something, so we made our way slowly towards the exit. We stopped and listened to the park music and watch the fountains for a moment before we left, and then strolled slowly out to the car. We went back to the hotel for a quick swim (which was great for us - sane people don't swim outdoors in Iowa during January...), and then we all fell fast asleep, ready for more fun the next AM. DAY 2 - THURSDAY, JANUARY 18, 2001 Animal Kingdom days & Disney Quest nights!!! I had offered Mary a choice - we could either get up early and go to Animal Kingdom at 8:00 AM when they open, or we could sleep in an extra hour and go to Disney-MGM at 9:00. Everyone felt well enough, so at 6:00 AM the alarm went off, and we got ready for a day with the animals. After a quick run through the breakfast buffet, we were off in our little Neon to Animal Kingdom. The hotel runs a courtesy van to/from the parks, but I prefer to come and go as I please, plus if we wanted to stop and see something else, we had the freedom to do so. One other off-topic thing: Directly across from the hotel was one of those places where they strap you into a harness with a bungee attached, haul you into the air about 10 stories, and then let go so you fall and swing on the way down. As we left that morning, we saw someone up there doing that. I can assure you, with all of my heart, that there is NO WAY on this planet or any other that I'd ever do that. The look of fear on the victim's face when they let him go was priceless - but there's no chance you'll ever be watching me up there. Okay, so on to Animal Kingdom. We arrived and quickly parked - but it seemed that no matter when we arrived at any of the parks, we always seemed to be parked just about as far away from the tram as humanly possible. This time, we were in the second-to-last slot. Anyway, after hiking the long row of cars, we were on the tram to the front gate in no time. Once inside the gate, I gladly stopped to take a survey (I told the surveyor that I was a Disney Store CM, but she said that as long as I didn't work in research I was okay...), and then we walked through the Oasis. People have said how impressive the first view of the Tree of Life is, and they weren't kidding. I stood at the top of the hill for a moment, taking in the view. Of course, a park photographer who wanted to snap our picture instantly approached us, but we said no thanks, and he backed right off. I did stop for a picture of the can o' beans with the Tree, though. Funny how the park paparazzi didn't ask for the beans to pose... We decided to take a walk back towards Africa first, and see how long the wait for the safari would be. The sign for the standby line said "45 minutes", so we opted to get Fast Passes, for a trip later in the day, and then wait in the standby line. Well, it turns out the standby line was actually only a 2 minute wait, which worked well. Our driver was from South Africa, and we had a great time seeing the animals and hearing her describe the wildlife. It seemed that most of the animals were out - we saw both the male and female lions, the giraffes were really close, and the zebras stood a couple of feet from us. Even the elephants were lively this time of day. Now, as far as the Big Red / Little Red story line goes, I know that they've tamed this down somewhat from its original "Bambi's Mother-esque" beginnings, but I really think that they could still drop it entirely, and focus instead on the nature at hand. Yes, poaching is a serious problem, and it does make a good point, but as Katie asked, "How many poachers get into Walt Disney World anyway? Don't they have security for that?" I also felt bad for the CM who gets to stand guard over the "captured poachers" -- as much as I'd like a Walt Disney World job, I wouldn't want to be the one to spend my day pointing a plastic rifle to two audio animatronic figures all day. It's not like they're going anywhere... After the safari, we hopped the train to Rafiki's Conservation Station, or whatever it's new name is. The train ride was nice, but there wasn't a whole lot to see along the way. Once we got to the "back 40" as I called it, we walked the path and looked at the sites, then headed towards the Station itself. Along the pathway there were polite little signs, "Jack Frost recently paid us a visit. Replanting is now in progress". I thought that it was funny that Disney was apologizing for the cold weather. At Conservation Station, we walked through the exhibits, and looked into the nursery, but there weren't any animals being checked out at the time, so we went outside to the petting zoo. The goats were out and happy to see anyone who looked like they might have a snack in their pocket, and the sheep were laying down, mostly with an annoyed look on their faces. We walked to the far edge, near the paddock, and the donkeys came over for a scratch, but the llamas didn't want to have anything to do with us. (This was fine with me.) We then walked by the chickens and the pigs (bacon and eggs, anyone????), then washed our hands and got out of there. It was getting warm, and the barnyard smell was only bound to intensify. On the way back to the train we stopped for a few pictures, and then watched the monkeys play for a minute, until the next train pulled up and several hundred people came towards us. This was our queue to move on, so back on the train we went. Once back in "civilization", we stopped for a restroom break, bought a couple of those wonderful $2.50 Cokes, and then went to use our Fast Passes for the Safari. This time the Standby line was maybe 15 minutes, but with the Fast Pass we were on board in about 2. Our driver was different this time, but also said that she was from South Africa. I was beginning to wonder if the country of origin for all drivers was part of the story... Anyway, the safari was great, but a little faster this time, as the animals weren't as close to the jeep as they were before. Katie had a great time snapping pictures of the elephants as we went by, and she was thrilled to find the lions standing within view. Next, it was Pangani trail, where we had a good time - Mary liked the gorillas best, while I thought the meerkats were great. It was funny at the meerkats; I heard more than one small child ask the CM which one was Timon. They (mostly) seemed satisfied with the explanation that these were friends of his. After the trail it was about 11:00 or so, and we were all getting a little hungry, so we walked around to pick up Fast Passes for It's Tough To Be A Bug, then we went to the Flame Tree BBQ. I had heard from others how good their food was, and they were right! Mary and I both had the combo plate, which came with chicken, ribs, corn, cole slaw, and a roll, and Katie, my finicky eater, was perfectly happy with the kid's PB&J meal. We sat down by the river and ate, and really enjoyed it all. The birds came by and helped me finish my roll - they obviously had no fear of Guests. After lunch and another visit to the Potty Ride (you need a "P" ticket to enter, you know...), we went to see It's Tough To Be A Bug, courtesy of our Fast Pass. Again, the Fast Passes really weren't that necessary, as the theater ended up being only half full. We did have a good time looking at the tree up close, though. It's still an amazing structure. You truly do forget that it's not a real tree sometimes. It's Tough To Be A Bug was great - it is one of my favorite movies, and even though I knew about most of the surprises, I was still shocked a few times. I also really liked their lobby posters - take a look at them the next time you're there; you'll see what I mean. After leaving the tree trunk, we walked over towards Asia, stopping for three post-lunch, post-bugs, ice cream bars. We stood by the water in Asia and watched the monkeys swing as we ate our treat. Next, we walked the trail, and spent a lot of time admiring the animals. The tigers were asleep, and it was funny how respectful the guests became around them - only speaking in hushed tones, walking very quietly, trying not to bump the glass. It was like the tigers had earned their respect. I was impressed by this. Mary did not like the bats, but they fascinated me, especially how they hung upside down for all that time by one toe. Next, it was off to Dinoland USA for a jaunt with Aladar and his cronies. We didn't have Fast Passes, but the wait was only 5 minutes or so. The ride itself was okay, but I still like Indiana Jones at Disneyland better. The construction walls were up throughout this section, so there wasn't much else to do, although we did walk through Chester and Hester's, and look at all the cool junk in there. We then walked back towards Harambe. Katie had been itching to have her hair wrapped, and her money was burning a hole in her pocket, so Mary and I sat on a bench and people-watched as Katie had her hair done. Since it was her own money she was spending, she chickened out on having the long wrap ($25.00), and instead had the shorter one ($11.00). I'm sure that if I had offered to pay, it would have been the longer one. When this was finished, we walked through the shops for a while, and I picked up the remainder of the collector die cast Disney vehicles that I didn't already have. Katie also bought some small presents for her friends back home. We thought we'd have time to make it over to Camp Minnie-Mickey for the Lion King show, but by the time we got over there it had already started, and the entrance was roped off, so we blew it off. Too bad; I've heard nothing but good things about this show. It was now 3:00, and we were all getting tired, so we decided what the heck, let's live a little risky, and we headed over to Kali River Rapids. Again, there was no line - the longest wait was the walk through the extensive queue. We were seated by a very nice family that was making their third trip in a row down the river, and they warned us to be ready to get soaked. I had stashed my purchases in the "water-proof" area, and warned Mary to lift her shoes. The river ride itself was okay - not great, but okay - I don't think they explained well enough why the river's edge was on fire and there was the sound of chainsaws, but perhaps this was covered in the queue, which we pretty much ran through. Mary and I walked off of the ride relatively unscathed, but the father of the other family was drenched! He was soaked in Yukky Ride Water (a family term to describe the smell...) from head to toe. It's a good thing that it was a warm day. Mary and I went around once, but Katie decided to stay on a couple more times, so we stood on the bridge and waved to her as she went by. Sure enough, on her third trip, she came back soaked to the bone. She was ecstatic about being the "lucky" one to get really, really wet. Kids - go figure. It was time to go, so we slowly made our way towards the exit. At the top of the Oasis, I stopped once again and looked back at the Tree of Life. What a wonderful place. Oh, and the Beans? I took pictures with them at the Tree (as previously mentioned), and with some of the animals. Once again, nobody ever asked me what I was doing, but I certainly did get some strange looks. We then went back to the hotel for some dry clothes for Katie (which ended up with a trip to the nearby Payless Shoe Store, as her tennis shoes were still soggy), and then it was off to Disney Quest. Disney Quest, for those of you who have never been inside, is a 5-floor video game palace. But just not any video games; these are high-tech, 3-D, often virtual reality games, where you are literally part of the action. A single admission price (about $29) lets you play all you want, except for the midway-type games for prizes. The first game we tried was Aladdin's Magic Carpet, a virtual reality ride where you're fitted with a visor and helmet, and suddenly you become Abu, riding on the carpet and chasing gems and Jafar. I personally didn't like this; the swaying of the viewpoint made me queasy, and the helmet pushed my glasses so far onto my face that they fogged up. Mary and Katie had a better time with this than I did, but I wasn't going to try it a second time. Maybe in a few years when they smooth out the graphics a little more it will be easier, but for now it was just to clunky for my tastes. We then went to the first floor and tried the mini-Jeep driving, but my Jeep would not turn if it was in Forward gear; only when in Reverse. So I quickly abandoned this, and we went to the Virtual Jungle Cruise. They strap you into a large inflatable raft, give you a couple of oars, and then you paddle for your life. This was fun, but I was exhausted afterwards! We then went up to floor 5 for something to eat. Mary and I split an order of pasta and a Caesar salad, while Katie had the chicken fingers. We sat and watched the other players around us - there weren't many people inside, and the lines were never bad. We then went back to floor 3, where Katie bought a $10 card for the midway games, and Mary went to Ride the Comix. The game play didn't last very long, but Katie was proud to earn a set of alien eyeball deely-boppers to wear. (For that she paid $10??? Oh well, it's vacation.) We then played some of the classic video games, and I was glad to see that after 20 years I could still play Joust and Galaxian fairly well. Katie and I then went on Buzz Lightyear's bumper cars, but our car didn't work very well, so it wasn't a whole lot of fun. We then went back up to floor 4 (are you sensing we spent a lot of time on stairs and / or elevators here???), and had cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. I had been to the Cheesecake Factory restaurant in Pasadena twice before, and it was great, so it was nice to have dessert from the same chain. We sat at an Internet booth and sent e-cards to everyone we knew (although nobody ever received them - I'm not sure why...), and enjoyed the HUGE servings of cheesecake. It was about 10:30 when we finished, and Mr. Burnout was beginning to creep into us, so we decided to head out. We walked through Disney's Westside for a few minutes, stopping to look in the magnet shop, then we turned around and headed back to the car. So Disney Quest - was it worth it? Well, for me, not really. It was fun, yes, but it wasn't worth the high price. Even with one ticket free (the CM offer was buy one, get one free), it was still $61 to get in, and then for food, drinks, and Katie's midway games, it was well over $100 for the evening. If you have a package that includes Disney Quest admission as a flex feature, or if you and/or your kids are really into video games, then you'll probably like it more than I did. Your mileage may vary. Oh, by the way, I didn't take the beans with me to Disney Quest; maybe next time. We were back at our room and dead asleep by 11:30. Who knew vacation was so much work? DAY 3 - FRIDAY, JANUARY 19, 2001 Disney Studios The alarm went off at 7:00 AM, but nobody was really moving. I slowly dragged myself out of bed, showered, then tried to wake Mary up. She protested for a few minutes, then got up as well. Around 8:00 I finally shook Katie awake, which wasn't very easy. We had played awfully hard the day before, and she really just wanted to stay in bed. But I convinced her that we needed to get going, and by 8:30 we were downstairs for breakfast. The buffet area was much busier today - there were lots of new faces, eagerly having breakfast before the hotel transportation to the parks arrived. I noticed that a lot of the other guests were from outside the U.S. - I heard lots of French, German, and other languages, some that I couldn't identify. I sat at the first available table and watched the people, which was kind of fun. I watched one guest as she ate just 5 bananas as her breakfast, and another who poured fruit juice on his cereal. Different strokes, I suppose... Breakfast was over, and we were soon in our car and on the way to the Disney Studios. We parked in the Stage lot, and caught the tram to the main gate, where Rafiki and King Louie were greeting guests. Why they mixed the Lion King with Jungle Book, I'll never understand... So, we got through the gates, and that's where we met -- gasp! -- The Brazilians!!! There were literally thousands of Brazilian tourists in the park, all wearing their matching T-shirts and following a flag-on-a-stick waving leader. Now I know that the newsgroups and guide books all mention horrendous experiences dealing with the Brazilian tour groups, but I'm going to stick up for them here. Other than one older woman who cut in line, pretending that she didn't speak English (but she certainly placed her drink order in perfectly good English a few minutes later...), I didn't see any members of the Brazilian entourages acting up or misbehaving in any way. Sure, they chanted and sang, but they were having a good time, and really didn't bother me. I thought that they were very well behaved, and I will tell this to anyone who asks. Anyway, back to the park. We immediately headed back towards Rock N Roller Coaster. Mary and Katie both like going upside-down on coasters, but not me. A bad experience on a carnival "Zipper" ride 20 years ago convinced me that being upside down wasn't for me. But there was something about the R&RC, and I told Mary that I was willing to try it - once. If I didn't like it, I wouldn't go again, and I could always close my eyes. We picked up Fast Passes, which weren't valid for use for another 90 minutes or so, then hopped in the standby line. The standby line had a wait of about 5 minutes, and soon we were deep in the heart of G Force records. We stood in the "alley" and watched a few of the limos take off, then before long we were ready to board. Now I'd like to tell you that I was as cool as can be, Sir Kevin the Brave, but that would make my nose grow... so I'll tell you that I was pretty scared, especially when the CM directed me to row one. Row one? On an upside-down coaster? For me? Oh, no...I don't think so, Tim. I quickly traded places with Mary, and took row two. It wasn't much safer in my mind, but it was certainly better than being up front. Mary and Katie both love coasters - the wilder, the better - so they were drooling for a chance to be up front. At least that way my family wouldn't see me whimpering. We were just about ready to go - the limo had pulled around to the tunnel entrance, and the countdown had begun. I held on for dear life and we heard 3 - 2 - 1 - Go!!! Bam - we were gone like a shot. Before I knew it, I was cheering and screaming just as loud as everyone else. It was great! I suppose that my fear has officially been wiped out, but hey - this is Disney. Magic can happen. We got off the coaster, and Mary's wide smile told me how much she liked it, too. So we did the only thing we could - we left the building and got right back on! Another 5 minute wait, another ride. I liked it even more the second time through, once I was over that initial anticipation. So here's my advice. Try something new - you may surprise yourself and really like it. After our second ride we walked over to Tower of Terror. This ride was Mary's big worry - Katie and I had gone on it the last time we were there, but Mary wanted nothing to do with it. But she figured that since I was willing to try R&RC, she'd give TOT a shot. The wait here in the standby line was about 10 minutes total, and soon we were strapped in the back row and on our way to the thirteenth floor. Now, I wish that I had bought the picture at the end, as it was priceless. Mary sat between Katie and I, and the picture was of both Katie and I looking at Mary, while her mouth was wide open, like a fish on a hook. It was really funny. I still say that the highlight of the ride for me isn't the drops, but the amazing detail in the lobby and pre-show, and the special effects when the elevator makes its trip out of its cage. The man sitting next to me had the seat belt seat, and I notice that he spent the time during the drops trying to tug the belt tighter. Oh, and I did stop for bean photos with the giant guitar and the Hollywood Towers hotel. Heh, heh. After TOT, we went back to use our Fast Passes for R&RC. This time I was glad that we had them, as the standby wait was now 20 minutes. Another fun ride, and this time we bought the photo. We then headed back up Sunset Blvd for some drinks. This is where I met the line jumper who cut in line, then pretended that she didn't understand the woman with the New York accent that she cut off, who was yelling obscenities at her - it wasn't very nice, trust me... While in line for TOT, I broke the strap on my fanny pack (I guess the can of beans weight finally took its toll), so we went down Hollywood Boulevard and bought a new one, along with 3 new baseball caps for the Burk family. I bought a "Vintage characters" one with Mickey, Mary got a Mickey / Walt Disney World hat, and Katie chose a Tigger cap. "Hat-head" notwithstanding, I think we made some very good choices. Next, we went up and around the construction zone and into the Great Movie Ride. We were on the Gangster side, and the CMs did a good job interacting with the guests. It'll be interesting to see how they update this attraction in the future - most of the scenes in there are getting ancient, although I did notice that the Chuck Workman film at the end included a few newer movie clips. We then went to get Fast Passes for Indy, which weren't going to be valid until almost 2:30, so we saw the Drew Carey Sounds Dangerous show instead. This was fun, and certainly better than the old Monster Sound Show. We stopped and tried a few of the sound effects at the end, then walked towards Star Tours. It was 12:40 at this point, and we had 1:00 ressies at the Sci-Fi Dine In. Star Tours had a 5 minute wait, but Mary and I weren't up to being shaken right before lunch. I offered Katie a chance to go by herself, but she decided to wait, so we went towards the Muppet Theater, but there wasn't time to see the show and get out in time for lunch. Instead, we went into the stores and shopped for a few minutes, then went to check in for lunch. "Now parking Burk party of 3," was called out about 1:10, and we were shown to our table-with-fins. Our waiter, Tim, was fantastic, and the food was really good. We all had cheeseburgers and shakes, and I was surprised to see Katie finish her entire lunch - she usually doesn't eat much. We had fun watching the drive-in movie and clips, and Tim told me that in all of the years he had been there they had never once changed the movie reel. At least at the Disney Store they get a new laser disk every few months. I know how tired I got of hearing the same songs every 45 minutes - imagine what it's like at the Sci-Fi??? Maybe after a while you block them out... After lunch we walked around New York street, then cut through the Prop Warehouse and stopped for our only character experience, a photo with Painter Goofy. I tried to sneak the can of beans into the picture, but it turned out that I had the label pointed backwards. Better luck next time. We then made our way to the backlot tour. I still really enjoy the backlot tour, even though I've seen the "real thing" at Disney's Burbank studios. (It was at the Disney Studios in Burbank where I was taking pictures while standing in the road by a soundstage, and just about got run down by Richard Karn of Home Improvement, but that's another story...) They had work crews busy on Residential Street still taking down the Osborne family lights - I wish I had seen them turned on. We then checked our watches - it was 3:15. We could go to Indiana Jones with our Fast Passes, or we could go see the Hunchback show at 4:00. We all really liked the Hunchback show - a lot - on our last trip, so we put it to a vote. Indy or Quasi? In the end, Quasimodo won out, and we decided to forego our Fast Passes in favor of Paris. Instead, we wandered along the back row for a while, and then Mary found a nice place to sit in the shade while Katie and I walked back down for Fast Passes for - yup, you guessed it - one more R&RC adventure. We met back up with Mary, then made our way to the Hunchback show. The pre-show juggler was Randy, and he did a great job entertaining the crowd, even though he dropped more pins than he caught. As for the Hunchback of Notre Dame show itself - it was perfect. The entire cast is incredibly talented, and they fully deserve all of the applause given. The Bells of Notre Dame rang out at the end, and we walked back over towards R&RC. It was a little after 5:00 when we got in line with our Fast Passes; the standby line was considerably longer this time - probably 30 minutes. You've gotta love that Fast Pass! We had one last blast with our friends in Aerosmith, and then we made our way over the Hollywood Hills amphitheater for Fantasmic!. I sent Mary and Katie on ahead into the amphitheater while I waited in line for some popcorn to take in with me; as it turns out, I could've bought some with no wait at the entrance to the show, but how was I to know??? I got inside, and thought, "how am I going to find Mary and Katie in the crowd?" It wasn't hard, though. They hadn't sat down; instead they were waiting for me at the top. We were all seated in the Mickey section, dead center, so we had good timing to arrive when we did. We sat and had our popcorn and relaxed for a few minutes - I was still thrilled at being able to wear my T-shirt and shorts in January. The sun was going down, but it was still around 70 degrees out. We won't see those temps back home for another four months. At 6:00 the theater was mostly full, and the pre-show entertainment began. It was "Cullin and Colleen", who did a great job of warming up Mary, Katie, me, and 9,000 of our closest friends. (The crowd really got into it when they played "Who Let The Dogs Out".) My favorite part? When Colin asked the audience, "How many of you escaped the snow to come here tonight?" I was glad to stand up and cheer for that! 6:30 came quickly, and Fantasmic! started on time. It was great as always, but I still like the Disneyland edition more - probably because we were closer to the water there, plus I missed seeing Captain Hook and the pirate ship. I really think it's impossible to come away from Fantasmic without feeling really, really good, no matter how tired you are. After the show we slowly merged with our 9K Disney pals towards the exit. We stopped off at Sid Cahuenga's for a look-see, and I bought some blank letterhead from the Disney Studios that had Fantasia and The Great Mouse Detective on it. Each pack had close to 50 pages or so, and was only $1 each, so these will work great for letter writing. The beans had a good time at D-MGM; I took several photos with the water tower, in front of Star Tours, and with the oversize guitar in front of our new favorite ride. Again, nobody ever questioned my actions. I guess nobody is curious any longer. After we left the parking lot, we decided to have a quiet night back at the hotel - grab some fast food, sit by the pool for a while, then go to sleep early. So we drove down Hwy 192 in search of something to eat, but we couldn't make up our minds. We were finally down past Medieval Times when we gave up and decided to find something on the way back, like it or not. Well, we ended up at Arby's, and it was definitely a "not". 20 minutes later, we finally got our cold food from The Arby's Ditz (I'll save her the embarrassment of listing her name here), who was shall we say, "less than with it"... But on the fashionable side, the color of her long fake fingernails exactly matched the shade of the silver dollar sized hickey on her neck! Trust me - avoid this place like the plague. I'm sure that this place isn't a reflection on every Arby's out there, but let's just say that Arby's of Kissimmee won't be receiving any Zagat Guide 4 star ratings any time soon. Okay, enough complaining. We went back to the hotel, ate, swam, and conked out by 9:30. DAY 4 - SATURDAY, JANUARY 20, 2001 Epcot & Magic Kingdom It was Presidential inauguration day here in the U.S. There was something mystical about being in the land of recounts and the "pregnant chad" on this day. I'll refrain from sharing my own disgruntled political opinions here, but I will say that we made the wise choice of ignoring all of the hoopla in D.C. in favor of Walt Disney World. The alarm went off at 6:00 AM; I shut it off and went back to sleep until 7:00. I just didn't have the strength to get up. It was raining outside, and I figured the park would wait another hour for me. At 7:00 the alarm went off again, so I slowly got up and showered, then sat and relaxed while Mary and Katie slept in until 8:00. I had intended for us to be at the TTC by 8:30, but I just didn't have the heart to wake them up. They had been such good troopers for the past 3 days of non-stop running that it was now my turn to back off a little and let them rest. Finally, at 8:00 we were up and getting ready for a day of fun. We went to the breakfast buffet, but it had been just about wiped clean by the time we got there, so we ate just a little, then hopped in the car and towards the TTC. My plan was to park at the TTC, catch the monorail to Epcot for a while, then come back to the Magic Kingdom. We parked and were on the Epcot monorail a few minutes later. The rain had stopped, but it was cold outside - only about 55, I'd guess. The morning news had said that the high would be only around 60, and then the temps would fall throughout the day to a record low of 38. We also had to laugh; the newscaster made a big deal about the "dangerous wind chills in the 20's..." Heh, heh, come to Iowa in January sometime... I'll show you what "dangerous wind chills" are like. 20 degrees above is considered a heat wave here! It was at the Epcot monorail station that I saw a woman who was in her mid-60's wearing the following: 4 inch (at least) high heels, tan leather pants, a mink coat, and a great big plastic rain bonnet. Yikes! I hope that she was comfortable; she didn't look to be, from what I saw. We got to Epcot around 10:00 AM; the "20" sign from the other day had now been removed, so Mickey's wand now held nothing above Spaceship Earth. So into Spaceship Earth we went, and said Hi to Jeremy Irons. It's still one of the coolest views, coming down backwards in that thing. The simulated starfields and the fiber optics are fun to watch, especially when you're going backwards. Afterwards, we walked through Innoventions for a minute, then headed over to Ice Station Cool. At the entrance there was ice on the floor, so we started walking through, and the ice machine from overhead immediately started, and dumped ice shavings on us. Now on any other day this would have been nice, but it was cold outside! So Katie and I ran to get out of it, but Mary mistakenly froze in place, and got soaked pretty heavily with ice. Yick. Once inside, we tried the different drinks. Let me tell you - "Beverly" is by far the foulest stuff I have ever tasted in my life. I can't believe that there are people out there who enjoy it. I can't say that I enjoyed any of the drinks; I guess I'll just have to (happily) stick with my Diet Pepsi, thankyouverymuch... We stood around for a minute while Mary shook the ice shavings out of her hair, and we watched the expressions on the faces of the other people as they drank Beverly of Doom. From there, we went to see Journey Into Your Imagination. It was okay - not great, but okay - which is sad to say; Disney usually doesn't do "mediocre". I still think that the original show was better. There was no wait there at all; I wasn't too surprised. And yes - it DOES look like Figment was tossed in at the last minute. We went through Image Works rather quickly, then walked over to The Land. Mary loves gardening, so it was great for her to see the plants. (She is itching to get her new garden planted, once the snow melts.) We rode through Living with the Land, and you could almost see her salivating for a chance to plant some vegetables. We then went to the garden shop by Food Rocks, and Mary eyed the gardening supplies, but surprisingly didn't buy anything. On our last trip she bought one of the mini palm plants, but one day our cat got to it and ate it, so I think she wasn't up to feeding another Disney plant to the cat. We then walked to The Living Seas for our PS at Coral Reef. Now, here I am, Mr. Disney Trivia Champion - I should know things, right? Nope, I blew it. For some reason I thought the restaurant was inside of the attraction. I don't know what I was thinking - I kinda remembered seeing tables there before... Anyway, we went through the pre-show, got into the Hydrolators, rose the world's shortest ride, and then - oops. So we left, walked around a little further than the way we went in, and guess what we found? Hooray! The Coral Reef restaurant has great views, but even though it was built in the 80's, it really has that late 50's kitsch feeling. You almost expected to have the waiter come up to you in a leisure suit and ask you, "hey babe, what's your sign?" Instead, the service was impeccable, and the food was delicious. Mary and I split the scallop appetizer (which unfortunately was 2 scallops - $10!), and I had the salmon cakes while Mary had the blackened Mahi-Mahi. Katie, being the world's pickiest eater that she is, had the chicken nuggets. (I swear that one day, her wedding banquet menu will consist of hot dogs, pizza, and chicken nuggets...) We decided to skip dessert, as we were all kind of full, and we knew that we were next headed to the land of good things to eat, Magic Kingdom. After lunch we walked to the monorail station, and hopped Monorail Brown to the MK. It was 2:55 when we walked through the front gate of the MK, and the 3:00 parade was just about to kick off, so we detoured around Main Street, courtesy of the Walter E. Disney steam locomotive and the WDW Railroad. We rode around to the Mickey's Toontown Fair station, and then hiked over to Tomorrowland. Once there, I went and got us Fast Passes for Buzz Lightyear, and then we got in line for Alien Encounter. Because the parade was going at the time, Tomorrowland was fairly quiet - for now. Now, Alien Encounter is one of those "love it or hate it" attractions. I personally love it, but there is no way that I would ever take a child under 10 years of age into this place. Katie was 10 the first time she saw it, but I had warned her well enough ahead of time that it was make-believe, and she got through it without the need for any therapy or post-traumatic stress. Still, my advice is simple: If your kids are squeamish about the Haunted Mansion, and the scary trees in Snow White's Adventure make them shiver, keep them away from Alien Encounter. There's less chance this way that they will one day put you in a "home" as revenge for inducing 40 years of nightmares. See my "Pirates" comments below for a prime example. So back to AE: During the pre-show, we were stuck standing next to a group of about 15 rowdy teenagers, who yelled and screamed through the whole thing. So once the doors to the main room opened, they went to the right, and we held back, then went to the left. Much better that way. Alien Encounter is a total 100% mind game that works extremely well, even when you're a veteran of it and you know what's going to happen. I still squirmed when the Alien came a-calling. The man seated directly behind me, who was obviously a rookie, had a great time. He was in his early 20's, and spent the whole show yelling, "Oh, that's not right! Oh, that's not right!" When it was over, I saw him, and he was literally shaking! I know it's not nice to laugh at others as they are freaking out, but it was quite funny, in a sick sadistic sort of way. After AE we hopped on the Tomorrowland Transit Authority (which will forever be "People Mover" to me...) for a trip around Tomorrowland. Now, I'm usually the first one to say that Disneyland's versions of rides are better than WDW's, but I'd take the People Mover any day over Rocket Rods. I snapped a couple of bean photos along the way, and generally enjoyed the sometimes slow / sometimes fast ride. Once we were through we had just enough time to catch Timekeeper and Nine-eye before our Buzz Fast Passes would be valid, so we slid into the queue. I had never seen this show before, but I had always enjoyed the Circle-Vision films at Disneyland when they were there. This was done quite well, and although it was obvious to me that this had been made for DL Paris first, I think they did a great job of blending it together for all cultures. The show was over, and it was time for Buzz! We flashed our Fast Passes to the CM, and in we went. Boy, I was glad that we had them; the line was 45 minutes without, but with the FPs we had about a two minute wait. The parade was over, and Tomorrowland was now packed! Mary rode in the XP37 just ahead of Katie and I, and we had a great time taking on Zurg and his minions. My final score was 70,000+; not bad for a rookie who had a hard time seeing the where the laser was aiming. Maybe they should put rifle scopes on them. The Galaxy was properly defended, and it was time for new adventures. I walked over and got Fast Passes for Space Mountain, which weren't valid until 7:40 - 8:40 PM, so we headed through Tomorrowland and towards Fantasyland. We stopped for a couple of photos by the castle, which although I really didn't mind it on my last visit, did look much better this time as a castle and not a pink birthday cake. We cut through the castle and towards Fantasyland, but it was really crowded, so we went to the left and towards Liberty Square. We made our way through Liberty Square and to the entrance of the Haunted Mansion. We didn't have Fast Passes available - we were sitting on those Space Mountain passes, which we couldn't use for a couple more hours - so we had to wait in the standby line like everyone else. It was okay, though - it was only about a 15 minute wait, and I'd wait twice as long as that for my grim grinning ghost friends. Okay, time-out for a commercial plug. Every year, The Walt Disney Company give Disney Legends awards to those who have made significant contributions to Disney in animation, films, theme parks, TV, music, Imagineering, executives, etc... This is a significant prize, a real honor to those who receive it, and a lasting tribute to those who are awarded it posthumously. Now, I am campaigning for Paul Frees to receive a posthumous award. As the voice of the Haunted Mansion's Ghost Host, it is Paul who brings shivers to my spine every time I hear, "When hinges creak in doorless chambers..." Paul also voiced several of the Pirates of the Caribbean, the old "Adventures Thru Inner Space" at Disneyland, plus as the narrator of most of the old "science is fun through Disney" films we saw in school, Paul's distinctive voice symbolizes Disney for me. And to top it off, he voiced the greatest science teacher I ever had, Ludwig Von Drake!!! Ask anyone who has heard Ludwig's "Green with Envy Blues." Ludwig Von Drake is the man!...er, Duck! Anyway, Disney accepts suggestions from the public for Disney Legend nominees. If you feel like I do that Paul deserves to be remembered for his contributions, a quick note sent on Paul's behalf to the nominating committee sure wouldn't hurt. Disney Legends C/O The Walt Disney Studios 500 S. Buena Vista Street Burbank, CA 95801 Okay, thank you for your patience. We now return you to your regularly scheduled trip report, already in progress. It was around 5:00, and the sun was starting to go down a little, and it was getting colder by the minute. So Katie stopped off at Columbia Harbor House for some hot chocolate while I snuck off to the restroom. On my way I passed Gideon the cat coming out for an autograph session near the old Skyway station, where Pinocchio and Geppetto were standing, and I said, "Oh, Hi Gideon." Well, the character stopped and violently shook my hand - I suspect that he was surprised that anyone knew who he was! We walked across Frontierland and cut through to Adventureland, where we lined up for the Enchanted Tiki Room, Under New Management. Now, I wasn't sure how I'd react to this. I really liked the original show, even if it was a bit dated. But I had high hopes after the pre-show with William and Morris. So we go in, sit down, and it starts. My impression, in a word? Ugh. Some things should be left well enough alone. First, the tiki room really doesn't need a disco beat. Second, has anyone noticed that although Iago is supposed to be a parrot like Jose, Fritz, et al., he's about 10 times their size? It's like Iago's been dipping in the growth hormones or something. Third, the story itself is lame. So the tiki god of disaster blasts Iago, and suddenly he's cool with everything? This is Iago we're talking about - I'd expect him to plot revenge or at least complain, not roll over and say, "Okay, let's all do the Conga!" Geez. The original tiki room was mystical because of the surprises that happened all around you. This show was like bad dinner theater. Thank goodness it was relatively short. So after walking out in semi-disgust, we stopped in the nearby shop to look for sweatshirts (it was dark now, and getting colder by the minute!), but they didn't have what we wanted, so we walked towards Pirates. There was not much of a wait for Pirates; there never is here in Florida. I wonder why. Anyway, we were about to get in the boat when I heard the family in line behind us talking. Little girl, about 5: "Grandpa, I don't wanna go in there. I'm scared." Grandpa: "Oh, sure you do, honey. It'll be fun." Little girl: "No, Grandpa, I don't wanna. It's scary." Stubborn Grandpa: "No, it's not. There's nothing to be afraid of." It was at about this point that the little angel saw her first skeleton. "Grandpa! Waaaaaahhh!!" Grandpa. "Oh, no. Look at the parrot instead! You like parrots!" (Never mind that the parrot was next to a skeleton...) You see what I meant earlier about age-appropriate decisions here, kids? All through the ride I got to listen to the poor girl scream at the site of pirates, skeletons, and cannonballs, while Grandpa tried to gloss it over by pointing out the cute little parrots, the doggie with the keys in his mouth, and the drunken piggies. This kid won't dream about happy little barnyard animals; she'll be chased by Dead Men who Tell No Tales. How much do you want to bet that Grandpa's next stop with her was Alien Encounter to see Cute Little Skippy? Some people. Okay, enough complaining - if I keep up these rants, they'll be asking me to host Monday Night Football next season. Anywho, after Pirates we cut through the MSEP parade route (which was about to start) and caught the WDWRR again and headed back to Tomorrowland. It was also at this point that I did something that I have never ever done before, and I hope to never have to do again: I walked right past Splash Mountain, and didn't ride it. I really wanted to, but it was so cold that I knew if I got wet (and the way it goes with Splash Mountain and me, I'm ALWAYS wet when I come off of there...), it would be a long, miserable rest of the evening in cold wet clothes. The temp was already down into the mid-40's, and it was getting colder. So I regrettably passed up my Laughing Place, as painful as it was. We got off the train at Toontown Fair again, and took the back path to Tomorrowland. We decided that this would be a good time to find something to eat, so we walked through Mickey's Star Trader for a minute, still looking for sweatshirts, and then went to Cosmic Ray's. Mary and I had steak sandwiches and fries while Katie had - you guessed it - chicken nuggets. The food wasn't bad, but it was the strangest steak sandwich I'd ever had. It had the consistency of... well, to put it bluntly, Alpo On A Bun. Maybe they put the meat through a blender beforehand? I don't know. It was tasty, even if it did look a little odd. As we were finishing our dinner, they dimmed the lights for the fireworks. We had a limited view (read: almost none) from where we were, but the music was nice. Once finished, we walked through the park for a few minutes, then it was off to Space Mountain. The Standby line was an hour, but our Fast Passes got us on in about 5. We did catch a couple of nasty comments from those in the standby line as we walked by, but nothing too terribly rude. Jealousy is an ugly thing, my friends. Space Mountain is great fun, but until you've tried the Disneyland version with the great Dick Dale surf-in-space soundtrack, you're really missing out on the full experience. Maybe one day they'll add music to WDW's version as well. After zooming through space, we were going to hit up Carousel of Progress, but it was closed! It was my own fault for skipping this earlier, but I didn't think it would close so soon, so I'm still kicking myself about missing this. If the rumors are true, this won't be around for much longer, and I was hoping to see it again before it goes to the Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow in the Sky. Shoot. It was a little after 8:00, and we thought - should we try to cram in a couple of last minute rides? We were all pretty tired by the this point, and we knew that there was no way we'd ever be able to do it all, so we gave up, and decided we'd shop for a couple of minutes, then beat the crowd out the gate. So we went down Main Street, which was already packed pretty hard for the 8:30 MSEP, and hit a couple of the shops before cutting across to the Emporium. Katie really wanted a certain WDW sweatshirt, but being as cold as it was outside, pretty much anything with long sleeves or slightly resembling "warmth" was sold out in her size. She finally saw one, but in a women's large, which was just a little too big, so I told her we'd keep looking for a medium. I ended up buying some picture frames for myself, plus one for the woman who was cat-sitting for us, a sweatshirt for Mary, some very-late Christmas presents, and a "I'm Never Going To Grow Up" T-shirt for myself. (I felt it was appropriate. What can I say?) It was 8:30, and the MSEP was starting, so we stood outside the Emporium and watched it go back up Main Street. I vividly remember seeing this at Disneyland when I was really young, and it was nice to see it again. As the parade ended, we followed the last float and the rope-holding CMs around the corner, and towards the gate. Good timing; it seemed that everyone in the world was right behind us! We got to the monorail station a few minutes later, after stopping for one last look at the castle and promising it that we'd be back. The monorail station was quickly filling up, and the lines were already 3-4 people deep. We went towards the far end, and a couple of moments later the monorail pulled up. The crowd in front of us started to squeeze into the first car, and about that time the driver came out. "Say," I called out, my fingers secretly crossed. "Any room up front?" "Come on," he waved. YES!!!!!!! We dashed to the front cab, leaving the poor souls behind us. Heh, heh. Talk about your lucky breaks. Not only were we not stuck waiting for the next train, we're riding up front! A few moments later we were on our way to the TTC. We got to see the Electrical Water Pageant as we passed towards the Polynesian, and the view was truly magical. We pulled up at the TTC, thanked our driver a million times, then headed towards our rental Neon. Five minutes later the car was warmed up, and we were on our way. Katie was asleep in the back seat before we left the parking lot. We had promised Katie a sweatshirt, and since we were leaving so early in the morning, it was necessary to find one tonight. So we drove to Downtown Disney, and went to the World of Disney store. I had a devil of a time waking Katie up, but I told her that we were there for her sweatshirt, and she managed to wake up a little bit. At the WoD store, we found the sweatshirt right away, but once again, only in large. Well, heck with it - she'll grow into it. We bought it and some candy for our co-workers, and then went to the Ghiradelli shop across the way. Mary had a decaf mocha and a $3 chocolate chip cookie, and I had a double-scoop of Rocky Road. Katie, dead tired, decided against dessert - poor kid; she doesn't know what she missed. The treats were really good, although I was looking for some Ghiradelli Flicks candy - do they even still make those? I haven't seen them since I was about 10. They're like oversized chocolate chips, and they came in a small cardboard tube. I guess that's the sentimental side of me...next thing you know I'll be searching for Pop Rocks. We loaded up our purchases, then with one last wave goodbye, said "see you real soon!" to Walt Disney World. The Burks have left the building. When we got back to the hotel, I dropped Mary and Katie off, then went to fill the gas tank, less risk the wrath of Mr. Sneer. 10 minutes later I was back, Katie was fast asleep, and Mary was well on her way. I set the alarm for 4:00 AM (yick!), then tried to drift off myself. DAY 5 - SUNDAY, JANUARY 21, 2001: Goin' Home. Just like clockwork (har, har), the alarm went off at 4:00. I forced my eyes awake and secretly cursed my early flight. Oh, well. After showering I shook Mary awake, apologizing profusely for the ungodly hour. She got ready while I finished organizing the last of our stuff. The local weather was 38 degrees out, so I wasn't going to pack our winter coats away this time, which made for more room in the suitcases. I woke Katie up shortly before 4:30, and amazingly enough, she was coherent enough to get dressed on her own. At 4:45, we loaded the luggage rack and headed down to check out. I settled the bill at the desk ($8.00 plus some change for their "hotel convenience charge" or whatever they called it...), then we loaded the car and hit the highway for the trip to the airport. The moon was a thin crescent shape; it was like the Cheshire cat was smiling goodbye to us. We dropped the car off, with a very nice Dollar Rent a Car representative assisting us (See? They're not all bad...), and then went to join the major line for check-in. If you've never experienced Delta's check-in counter at Orlando, consider yourself thankful. You think the line for Splash Mountain is long sometimes... Anyway, we waited about 30 minutes, and then checked in. Have you ever had a flight be cancelled, but in the end you get to your final destination earlier than planned? It's one of those million-to-one stories, but it happened to us. We were supposed to go to Atlanta, then Cincinnati, and finally Omaha, which would have taken about 7 1/2 hours total. Well, I found in the Delta timetable a direct flight from Atlanta to Omaha that left about 20 minutes after our Atlanta to Cincinnati connection would have. Leave 25 minutes later, but get home almost two hours sooner? Sounds good to me! So I asked at the counter if this was possible to switch our flights, and pass up the opportunity to go to Cincinnati again. As it turns out, our Atlanta to Cincinnati connection had been cancelled, so we were already set to go on the direct Atlanta to Omaha flight. It's amazing how well some things work out. Our plane in Orlando was boarding by the time we got to the gate, and a little after 7:30 we were in the air. It was the newest plane I'd ever been on; it even still had that "new plane smell". After a couple of hours in the dismal Atlanta airport, we were on our way to Omaha. I'll leave you with these final three stories about the passengers on our return flight: 1 - The plane was full - literally. But on board there were a lot of people who were heading home from some conference. From the way they talked, it was one of those "Make a Million Dollars in Real Estate Overnight!" kind of things, because they were pumped up and chatting with each other about "potential" and "reaching for the stars" and that kind of stuff. One woman was busy highlighting in her book, entitled "SALE Is Also A Four-Letter Word". I guess that everyone gets their dose of magic in different ways... Me, I prefer Uncle Walt's method. 2 - Behind us was a family that had obviously never flown before. They applauded at takeoff and landing, and the woman, who was at least 30 years old, kept asking when they were going to bring around the hot towels. 3 - In front of me was a little boy who had learned a new phrase, which he repeated for the two-hour flight. "Oh...My...God. Oh...My...God." Over and over and over, each time with the dramatic pause between each word. His mother, who sat next to him, never once said a word to him. Maybe she thought it was cute. She gave him an airline magazine, and he'd flip each page, "Look, Mommy! Oh...My...God!" I closed my eyes and tried to sleep (read: block him out), wishing I was back at my Laughing Place again. 2:00 PM Central time, 15 degrees above zero. We must be home. I was glad that I didn't fall asleep behind the wheel on the drive home from Omaha. I unpacked and then laid down for a few minutes, exhausted but happy. Was it all a dream? Nah, it was wonderfully real. The only dream now was for our next trip. FINAL THOUGHTS: Okay, you've made it this far, and I thank you. Your patience will be rewarded someday, some way. Here are my personal highlights and lowlights: HIGH POINTS:
LOW POINTS:
We never touched World Showcase, much of Frontierland, Fantasyland, Pleasure Island, or most of the other cool things that Disney has to offer. But I knew that it would be like this from the start, and it was okay. We did as much as we possibly could in the time allotted, and had a blast. That's all that matters. FINAL THOUGHTS FROM THE CAST MEMBER IN ME: Yes, this was the end, of sorts. For various reasons - some personal, some professional, I had decided prior to the trip that it was time for me to "retire" as a CM at The Disney Store, so this trip was my swan-song. Shortly before we left I gave TDS my two-week notice, and I finished my last shift for Disney this past weekend after returning. I am now officially a Guest again, but I'm okay with that. I will always have the memories of winning their trivia contest, and the castle will still light up for me at nights, and I am proud to say that I was part of the MAGIC that is Disney. Besides, now that I no longer work for the Mouse, I am eligible to try out for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Look out, Reege... Here I come. FINAL THOUGHT FROM THE BEANS: Yes, I dragged a can of beans around Walt Disney World for 3 1/2 days, all in the name of fun. It's nuts, I know, but anything for a laugh... If you'd like to see the photographic evidence, or if you'd like to play along, please stop by: http://www.beansaroundtheworld.com/. Thanks again for making it this far. See you real soon! Kevin Burk cidbliq@yahoo.com Mail a Comment to Kevin Burk |
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