Trip Reports

Time of Year: Fall
Travel Method: Plane, Rental Car
Resort: Offsite
Accommodations
Ages Represented in Group: Adul
WDW Experience Represented in Group: Infrequent
Comments: Darcy's report is written in a conversational summary style. It's very fun to read, but is far from a play-by-play report. Instead, Darcy focused on meals (I loved the description of high tea at the Grand), travel issues, and WDW's newest attractions.

Oct. 12, 1998 - Oct. 23, 1998 (but only the 16th -23rd in Disney)

"Bob Kuhn and Darcy Devney, now you're both unemployed, what are you gonna do?" Answer: "We're going to Disney World!"

INTERNET RESEARCH

For our last big (meaning expensive) trip (to England, in 1996, with siblings), RMK did all the advance prep. He was inhuman (in a good way). He chose 12 b&bs, 34 attractions (combining 4 separate lists of Ten-Sites-I-Can't-Miss with absolutely no overlap), intricately plotted into a logistical map that surpassed the D-Day Master Plan. Wherever we went in England, he knew every A-road, every object d'art, even what kind of sheep we were driving past at any given moment. …So, I owed spouse points bigtime. Since I was unemployed, I surfed the net for days at a time. Two personal sites, http://www.wdn.com/dwills/ and http://members.aol.com/DVClubber/dvchome.htm were unbelievably useful. This trip report is my THANK YOU! Using these sites, I sifted and clipped hundreds of pages of commentary into a 20-page, personalized guide for 2 picky adults for a week of fun in Disney.

HOUSING

We wanted to stay on Disney property, because we'd never done that before, but after examining the prices (ouch!) and availability (zilch), we settled for an off-site b & b called Perri House. Wow, was that lucky! Perri House is an Audubon-recognized bird sanctuary, away from the madding crowds and very inn-like. Breakfast at Perri House was usually taken out on the terrace while RMK bird-watched and I sipped Pepsi. Cereals, fruits, muffins, Danish, coffee/tea, etc. started the day off right. By the end of the week, RMK said, "That early bird catches the worm stuff is nonsense. The birds weren't awake yet when I was out there." Nonetheless, he did manage to see many birds he'd never seen before, and I loved the swimming pool.

Perri House is also basically at the "back door" to Disney property, so no I-4 or Route 192 traffic to contend with. (I swear, I don't know how anyone manages to get in or out of hotel parking lots on those highways - it's insane!) Rather than subjecting you to anguished paragraphs … okay, just 1 paragraph:

Let me just say that I'm a brand-new driver (had my license 111 days when I arrived in Florida). I got so-o-o-o lost so many times in Florida! It didn't help that the main highway (I-4) runs north/south but is labeled east/west (don't ask, no explanation I was given made sense). My crowning achievement was, on the way back from Ocala, I hit the Orlando city limits (approx. 6 miles from my hotel) at 2 pm. By 3:30, I had missed the hotel (you could sort of see it from the highway) 3x, and was getting hysterical. (In my own defense, the exit I was supposed to take, # 27, was actually not on the highway. You had to know to take exit 26 to get to both exits 27 & 28. I just kept hitting exit # 29 and thinking I was blind.) At 5 pm, I finally spotted a state trooper, batted my tear-swollen eyes, and got given good directions. I got back to my hotel at 5:30 pm! And yes, before you ask, I had 3 maps spread out on the seat next to me, but: (1) apparently 2 major mini-highways had recently been renamed, (2) there are no places to pull over in Orlando (just into swamps), and (3) I have not yet fully mastered the driver technique of reading a map while driving 60 miles/hr in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Once I had RMK as navigator, everything went just fine.

HELL ON WHEELS

Remembering our last experience (and blisters) in Disney (over a decade ago when I had a regular exercise program), we decided to rent a wheelchair ($5/day) for our first day in the biggest park, Epcot. RMK literally jogged me around the park so fast my hair got windblown. I alternately yelled "beep, beep" and just covered my eyes. After a short discussion, we decided to do most parks this way. With RMK's enthusiasm (and biceps and whatever _cep a calf muscles is), we managed to see and do just about everything we wanted to.

HELLTA EXPRESS

We will never fly Delta Express again. It's the airline that AAA seems to keep using, and it's awful. To Florida, our flight was overbooked and people were offered vouchers for bumping, then it was late, then it was cancelled. Our flight back was overbooked, then people were bumped, then it was late. They offer no real meal service of any kind, no matter what time or how long your flight is. I usually get an aisle seat anyway, but on Delta Express, if there's an emergency and you're in a window seat, there is NO way you will be able to exit the plane. Give up and say your prayers sitting in your seat, 'cause you're toast. The seats are narrower than any woman's behind, and the backs are narrower than any man's shoulders. The overhead bins hang so low that it took the window seat person 5 minutes to extricate themselves by twisting like a pretzel - and we were co-operating. I don't know why the FAA allows these dangerous situations. No one but the passengers in the first row behind the pilots could possibly evacuate the plane. Enough ranting… sorry, but it was such an unpleasant way to start and end a vacation.

SUSTENANCE

Last time we were at Disney, we ate fast food, mostly outside the parks. This time, RMK's birthday present from his parents was a nice check, with encouragement to skip the hamburgers and have some real sit-down meals on vacation. So we did, including several meals at Disney resort hotels. It was one of the best parts of our vacation. Below is just a sample:

Red Lobster is a well-known chain restaurant, so we weren't expecting fabulous food. Let me tell you, that was the best virgin strawberry daiquiri I've ever had (RMK had 1, too, 'cause we were totally dehydrated). Seafood gumbo and red snapper went down easily for RMK, and I decided on just an assortment of side dishes, including wonderful mashed potatoes w/ garlic. ($28 total)

In Epcot, we had the lunch buffet in Norway. It's a beautiful building, with arched doorways, stone floors, whitewashed walls, linen tablecloths. But you know what's even prettier? The waitresses! Peach-skinned redheads and blondes, unbelievably nice to us, speaking in soft, accented voices - and dressed in the most adorable (and modest) ankle-length skirts, laced-up vests, snowy shirts. As for the men, I always think redhead men look like peeled frogs (nothing personal), and I'm sure Epcot should be paying them extra for dressing in the ugliest tied-at-the-knee breeches, shirt, and vest outfits. The food? Oh, it was good, too. The "koldboord" inc. macs n cheese, enough herring varieties (5+, inc. cream, mustard, tomato) to satisfy RMK's craving, and various exotic things I don't eat, including many, many meats prepared in many different ways. We added a fruit pastry tart to die for, and a chocolate mousse decorated like a Viking ship, complete with chocolate sail. ($48 total, inc. RMK's Ringnes beer and those desserts.)

The Sci-Fi Café at Disney/MGM Studios served probably the least impressive hamburger I've ever had - and the french fries were substandard, too. But who cares when the drive-in movie theme is this well done? You're seated side-by-side in a real car, served by carhops on skates, while watching classic trailers of very bad sf and horror films of the 50s. Hint: keep an eye out for the UFO that appears in the sky above the fence. ($30 total.)

After an Animal Kingdom morning, we met our friends Jack and Lisa for lunch at Pebbles, a local restaurant in Lake Buena Vista. RMK's grilled duck salad oriental, with mandarins and noodles, was a hit. My vegetable quesadilla was just light enough for the hot weather. We had a very loquacious 3+ hour lunch, and enjoyed ourselves immensely.

One hot afternoon, we left a crowded park and drove over to the Grand Floridian, Disney's serene Victorian-themed hotel complete with fretwork balconies, stained glass, and songbirds in the lobby (RMK says to say they were Aussie lorikeets!). Tea was a multi-course 3-hour experience, complete with attentive waitress (in costume, of course). First, the tea (with tea strainer, cozy, and sugar lumps, of course) was excellent. I chose English Breakfast (and had 4+ pots of it) and RMK had lovely iced raspberry tea. We started with tea sandwiches (smoked salmon, pear and Gorgonzola, spicy chicken salad w/ cherry, egg salad -- and yes, I liked everything but the egg salad) and cucumbers hollowed out and filled with roast vegetables. For the 2nd course we had tarts and very good scones with jam and imported Devonshire cream. The 3rd course was dessert, a choice of cookies or pastries, and a huge bowl of strawberries and whipped cream. We love afternoon tea and this was one of the best tea meals we've ever had.

Lunch at Wolfgang Puck's Café near Pleasure Island was terrific. Darcy's "kid cheese pizza" (no, not goat) was exceptional, and RMK indulged himself with a Sam Adams and the sushi sampler: 8 sushi rolls California-style w/ spicy tuna and 5 sushi (tuna, salmon, crab, shrimp, octopus). ($30.11 + tip)

We also visited the Ghiradelli Soda Fountain and Chocolate Shop one afternoon. RMK asked for "extra-thick" frappes, and what we basically got was hard ice cream whipped to the consistency of soft ice cream. Mmmmm.

We had a light lunch at Seasons, the restaurant of the Disney Institute. The huge room is green and white, with an ivy-and-trellis décor. RMK had salad Nicoise with grilled tuna and a very nice dressing. I had the Tower of Fruit and discovered that I really like mango. The rolls were, as always at Disney, warm and delicious. Also, any place that gives you a carafe (!) of Sprite is on my side.

Our meal on the last night at Disney was at Artist's Point at the Wilderness Lodge. This was definitely the best meal of our vacation. The restaurant is beautiful and large, northwest-themed, with an hourly geyser eruption as tableside entertainment. The waiter was positively obsequious, and it was like being a millionaire for the night. (P.S. eerily, like every other waiter we had at Disney, his name was Kevin or Keith, and he had just moved there from N.E.) I had prime rib and extra portions of au gratin potatoes (lovely and creamy). After serious consultation with K, RMK ordered a Northwest wine sampler (2 Cabernets and a Merlot). RMK's meal started with the Taste of the Northwest (buffalo marinated with apples, chanterelle mushrooms, and blueberries - subtle and interesting), variety of heirloom tomatoes and onion salad, mixed field greens, smoked-in-house-salmon, shrimp, and goat cheese with cracked peppercorns. He also finished off my prime rib leftovers. Breads (walnut and sunflower) were served with salmon butter, apple butter, and sweet butter. RMK's dessert (free because I had mentioned to the waiter that this was RMK's birthday present) was berry cobbler (wild blueberries cooked into a light shortbread with fresh blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, and raspberry sauce with cinnamon ice cream). My chocolate silk bread pudding pie sounded weird, but was unbelievably good. I overtipped the waiter (total $ 75.) "Wow" was RMK's review of the entire meal.

DISNEY QUEST

The last (actually, the only) video game I've ever been able to score anything at was Ms. Pac Man, so I had thought that Disney Quest (the electronic playground/video arcade/virtual reality club) would be just for my husband, and other computer-addicted folks with testosterone. Well, I was wrong. RMK had a terrific time, and I really enjoyed it, too.

Just watching the folks on the virtual reality Jungle Cruise raft ride bounce up and down (and listening to them scream as they went over waterfalls) was tremendous fun. I didn't even realize that they actually got spritzed with water, too, until I saw RMK's shirt (he rode twice).

The Hercules in the Underworld game was true virtual reality. Standing in a chariot, looking at a wrap-around screen, using a joystick to catch and throw lightning bolts, as part of a 4-person team (Hercules, Megara, Philockles, and Pegasus) was really, really cool. I actually scored highest once, unheard of for someone who actually cannot chew gum and walk at the same time.

My husband's favorite Midway on the Moon skill test was Whack-an-Alien (the "aliens" pop out of the person's stomach, an ickier variation of our local Whack-a-Mole), and I got a real kick out of Rescue Dumbo from the Fire, a silly water game for kids.

The only ride we didn't try (and probably should have) looked like so much fun it should be illegal: Buzz Lightyear's AstroBlaster. Think 2-person bumper cars on rollers. Rubber balls on the arena floor are picked up by driving over them. The driver steers while the shooter loads the balls into a cannon and fires them at other bumper cars. If your car is hit, it spins around in a mad circle (this made me motion-sick just to look at).

But Disney Quest could be even better:

First, change the admission structure. We paid $20/each for admission, which includes game tokens. Many folks, like me, were in a party of two (frequently an adult and a child) where 1 person was much more adventurous and less motion-sick than the other person. So a "spectator" card would probably sell well. (You could always buy game credits inside to add to your spectator card.)

Second, provide ways for single folks to pair-up for attractions that are more fun when many people take place. For example, if, at less-busy times, rides and games started on the half-hour, things like Mighty Ducks Pinball Slam (sort of vr hockey) and AstroBlaster would be much more entertaining when every vehicle was in play. For the Jungle Cruise, Hercules, and similar rides, offer a pair-up line option or something similar. (RMK did the Jungle Cruise once by himself, but it's hard for one person to paddle straight on both sides of the raft at once.)

Third, please provide a range of vr helmets. RMK spent the whole of Ride the Comix game whaling away with a "sword" that had to be held with both hands, and continually quickly putting a hand up to adjust his helmet downward. (He actually got an abraded scalp from it - I bet either of my Big Head Brothers would be marked for life.) The employee's response to RMK's complaint was "Yeah, the kids always complain that they don't fit right, too," which is pitiful customer service. At the very least, try the helmets on in advance and check to make sure that the fit will work. (After Ride the Comix, we tried the Aladdin's Magic Carpet Ride helmets on before paying - and yep, RMK's helmet slipped right up again.)

Third, please have more signage or brochures or something to explain a game, and maybe play for 30 seconds, before you start. While it may make economic sense to make people pay for the first game (during which you figure out how to play), the second game (you try out your idea) and the third game (you actually just play), it's kind of frustrating.

PLEASURE ISLAND (COMEDY CLUB AND ADVENTURER'S CLUB)

The quote from the net about AC was irresistible: "Visualize the concept of an early 20th Century British 'Explorer's Club", mixed well with 'Mad Magazine', and toss in a bit of 'Calvin and Hobbes'." We were hooked. RMK actually dressed up, complete with pith helmet, safari vest, and bow tie, as a 1930s adventurer, for our visit. (The club manager was so impressed that he took us privately through the back entrance and seated us right up front in advance of the show! Of course, for the rest of the evening, the audience was convinced that RMK was one of the actors.)

Both of the clubs we went to really depend on the audience. The improv comedians at the Comedy Club were very good - and so quick on the adlibs - but given good suggestions from the audience, were phenomenal. (RMK notes that the CC actors concentrated on the musical improvs, which are usually avoided 'cause it's so hard to do well. For example, an actress interviewed a member of the audience via a phone planted in advance, and then, after about a minute, the entire company sang a several-stanza song about the audience member.) Live wire audiences at the Adventurers' Club, ready to be interactive and play along with the slightly abusive comedy, can make a night to remember. Wives volunteered husbands to get up on stage for some "dirty dancing."

We, the original "lights out by 10pm" folks, got back to the b&b at 2 am!

CHILDREN

So, you're thinking of taking your kids to Disney? Let me be blunt: out of the thousands of children we saw every day, I'd say 10% were experiencing the "magic", 20% were having about as much fun as a local amusement park back home, 30% were asleep or too tired to care, and 40% were having total meltdowns. Honestly, I understand that you're spending a lot of money and effort, but anyone under 10 (or a very mature 9) is just too young (mentally and physically) for most of what Disney offers. Some of my nicest memories of Disney are of a 6 year old's smile and amazement, but I still wonder why the parents who dragged 5-year olds right past the warning signs to the "It's a Bug's Life" show aren't up for child abuse charges. This is a loud 3-D and tactile show where wasps sting your back (you actually get poked), audio-animatronic black widow spiders the size of basketballs drop from the ceiling, and "acid" is spit at you (you actually get wet). Bee-phobic as I am, I waited outside while RMK went in. Like clockwork, 1,2,3,4, - another crying child led out, 1,2,3,4, another screaming child, 1,2,3,4, another hysterical child. I forgot - most of the show happens in the dark! It was sad and funny at the same time.

We tried Fort Wilderness for the campfire/sing-along/marshmallow roast, offered nightly, and were sorely disappointed. RMK waited in line for 20+ minutes to buy the marshmallows, and then waited in line to toast them at the tiny campfire (surrounded by zillions of bored, screaming children). The sing-along guy was awful, and had no idea what children like to sing. We left early, and went on RMK's first hayride ever. The horses clopped along in the dark, we talked with the driver and other passengers, and felt the cool breezes from the lake. It was lovely.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE RIDES AND ATTRACTIONS?

Oh, yeah, we did everything on our list - and more. The live theatre shows, which we missed entirely last time, were like mini Broadway spectaculars, with full staging, costumes, and quality voices.

Keep in mind that we're not roller-coaster enthusiasts. RMK went on a few "motion simulator" rides and decided he's just not impressed (and they make me sweaty and naseous). Of course, I had to go on Disney's version of a log flume. Nothing is simple at Disney: Splash Mountain is an 11-minute ride, complete w/ audio-animatronic puppets singing and a 5-story drop (!) at the end. As you begin your final descent, a flashbulb pops right in your face (you can buy the picture immediately after the ride, but my eyes were closed and RMK's face was completely hidden by his hat). By the way, just after the flash went off, his hat succumbed to the G-forces and came right off his head. And the man in the back seat of the log caught it!

We would both vote for Disney/MGM Studios as our favorite park. Although it is the smallest park in size, we spent 2 days there and enjoyed almost everything. The Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular (a half-hour live-action show of the stunts from the first Indiana Jones movie, including the rolling ball, the spikes in the floor, the propeller fight in front of the airplane, etc.) was probably the highpoint for us. RMK volunteered as an extra and got picked right away. I hope that the photo I took of the moment after the casting director said to RMK, "Scream as loud as you can" came out. I was laughing too hard and had one hand over my ear, so I think the camera was jiggled. I bet the volunteer next to him jumped 4.5 feet straight up. RMK was hoarse for the rest of our time at Disney, but it was worth it.

In the Magic Kingdom, we loved Buzz Lightyears' Space Rangers ride, which opened 1 week before we came. You're a space cadet suddenly recruited to help defend the galaxy against its worst enemy, Emperor Zorg. You ride in an open-face space capsule, with 2 guns and 1 joystick trigger that rotates the capsule to give you a better angle. Your mission is to shoot the "Z" targets. Trust me: you do not want to share a car with your beloved - you'll keep missing your shots when s/he moves the joystick. At the end of the ride, your score is added up, and you receive your rank (Space Pilot, Galactic Commander, etc). The graphics in the queue are great, and inside is a wonderful, neon and phosphorescent environment. We did it three times straight in a row. My first score was 6,000, RMK's was 192,000. I was kidding about it in line and the Disney employee pulled me aside and gave me secret scoring tips to better my score. Second game, I got 100,000+ points, but RMK was still just under 200,000. I shared some tips (turn around completely and hit the backs of things as you leave an area and, once you've hit something, keep the trigger pressed to keep racking up points) with RMK before the third game. He broke 200,000; I got distracted working my joystick and only got 73,000. But it was great fun!

Fantasmic, the newest Disney nightime extravaganza, opened the week before we arrived, too. We had both thought that the Sorcery in the Sky fireworks were amazing, with music and fireworks well-matched. But Fantasmic blew us both away. We sat front row center, even though we were warned we would get wet. The pre-show was terrific, with jugglers, characters, and one of the funniest ad-lib comics I've ever seen. I can't describe the show, other than to mention that it includes fireworks, acrobats, water floats, dancing, lasers, fire, music, and so much more, including famous scenes from Disney movies projected onto a screen made by fountains of water. RMK was awestruck, and that's hard to do. We were covered with fine ash and a mist of water, but we went home content.

AND OF COURSE…

And have I mentioned my lovely trip to Ocala, which is the southern version of Kentucky Bluegrass horse country? Or my Arabian Nights dinner theatre experience? Or the drowsy, sunny morning we spent on Discovery Island, studying the native birds of Florida and walking on the sandy beach? Or that I saw the movie Antz for $4 in the most comfortable theatre seats I've ever been in, with the clearest sound, and the biggest screen, at the AMC theatres on Pleasure Island? Or the free, surprise Trisha Yearwood concert at the Magic Kingdom one night?

Darcy Campion Devney

__________________
You just read a trip report that was originally published in our MousePlanet Trip Reports column.

Reader-submitted trip reports have always been an extremely popular feature here at MousePlanet. In order to improve the search functionality and shorten the time from when you submit a trip report and the report gets published, you can now post your trip reports directly to our Trip Report forums. The forums are moderated, but reports should become available for reading very quickly.