Trip Reports

October 29 thru November 1, 1999

Cast:

Me- 28 Anal-retentive planner, the Navigator
Michelle- (28) friend from High School, neurotic, obsessive compulsive, the Driver
Background:

The trip all started pretty much as a joke. I've known Michelle since Sophomore year in High School in Racine, Wisconsin. We weren't the closest friends but we hung out enough to warrant staying in touch after we graduated in 1989. Michelle moved to Ft. Myers about 1994. I now live in Milwaukee. I visited Michelle in Fort Myers in May earlier that year.

We drove to Orlando and went to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. The only problem was we went with her parents. I can't think of an appropriate way to describe them other than just annoying (one night ended with Michelle and I downing shots of Tequila at the hotel's Tiki bar, just to calm down). Her mother reminds me of the mother from the book "Second Child" by John Saul (good book by the way). After the trip we joked about going to Orlando on our own next time.

Planning:

Shortly after, I received an email from Michelle saying: Why don't you fly down this weekend. We'll rent a car and drive to Orlando, we'll go to WDW and be back in three days. Of course, neither of us could have afforded it so we started to plan to go around Halloween.

Now this was before I had Internet access (both at work and at home) so our planning was very limited (Pretty much from the brochures I'd snagged from the hotel lobby on our previous trip). The last time I was at WDW was in October of 1979 (this upcoming trip would be my 20th Anniversary so to speak) I was 8. There was no EPCOT, MGM, or Animal Kingdom yet and I think Big Thunder Mountain was just being built.

I don't recall how we came across the hotel, other than Michelle found it. Please note: as you will see in this and other trips with Michelle, I'm the one who does all the planning, if Michelle does it, something always goes wrong. That's not an opinion, that's a fact. The hotel we decided on was the Best Western Kissimmee on Irlo Bronson Highway which boasted as being only minutes from WDW. We got a great price though $35 a night which to quote Bullwinkle is an antihistamine deal (it's not to be sneezed at)

We tossed around several ideas about how to get to Orlando from Ft. Myers (rental car, plane, bus) but finally decided the most inexpensive mode would be to drive. Michelle is not very comfortable driving, but she figured as long as I was there to navigate, it would be no problem (Please note I have a driver's license but I choose not to drive for the benefit of myself and others). Our plan was I'd fly into Fort Myers on the 28th of October. We'd drive up to Orlando and check into the hotel. We'd do two of the parks on the 29th and 30th then on the 31st we'd check out some non-Disney things in Orlando (Michelle wanted to check out some kind of Titanic exhibit) then we'd drive back to Ft Myers then on the 1st of November I'd catch the flight home.

Next was deciding which parks to do. We figured Magic Kingdom was a no-brainer but we wondered which park should be the second one. My thoughts at the time (which are GREATLY different now) were, EPCOT is half science crap (like a visit to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago) but the World Showcase would be interesting, and with Animal Kingdom what can I see there that I can't see at the local zoo? Please bear in mind these opinions have changed. The bottom line is we decided on MGM Studios. Michelle had mentioned something about breakfast at Cinderella's castle (whatever that was), I call WDW reservations to check out a reservation. It was about three weeks before we left, after the person on the other end stopped laughing, she informed me it was booked.

The Trip, Day 1:

I flew out of Milwaukee on Northwest, switched planes in Detroit and landed in Fort Myers around noon. Bear in mind this was pre-September 11th so the trip was uneventful. Also before September 11th I would pack everything I'd need in a carry-on bag so I wouldn't have to deal with baggage claim, that, however, has changed. I met up with Michelle and we drove back to her place.

Michelle still had a few things to do before we took off. Please note: Michelle is very scatter-brained and often forgets things easily, she's also very slow so we are often running behind schedule. We had to stop at Walgreen's on the way out of Fort Myers (Michelle lost her old sunglasses and needed new ones) and then we were off about 3:00.

We headed out on I-75 and stopped at Cracker Barrel along the way for dinner. The trip to Orlando usually takes about three hours depending on how fast Michelle drives (usually around 75 mph). It's pretty simple, north on I-75 to Tampa then take I-4 east to Orlando but Michelle spends the whole drive from Ft. Myers to Tampa worrying about making the exit to I-4. She has this habit of scratching the back of her head when she's nervous so needless to say the whole trip she has one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the back of her head.

The trip was uneventful and we turned onto Irlo Bronson Highway around 7. It was dark by then (we'd hoped to arrive before nightfall but...) and of course there was construction and the road was down to one lane a piece so traffic was quite slow-going. After about ten minutes with out seeing the hotel we started to worry. Finally, we saw a Best Western sign, parked and went to check in. It was the wrong Best Western, apparently the Best Western Kissimmee is farther down. So, back in the car we went, and drove... and drove. We saw a sign for the Florida Turnpike and thought if the Hotel doesn't show up before we hit the turnpike we'll call the hotel and get better directions. About a quarter mile before the Turnpike we saw a sign for the Best Western Kissimmee.

We checked in then were told to see (name escapes me) at the "Guest Services" desk. The man gave us the whole spiel about the time share tour and the $50 in Disney dollars you'll receive at the end of the tour. This was the first (and unfortunately not the last) time I've encountered the "Resort Tour Commandos" who pounce on you any chance they get offering you free stuff for just going on a "short" tour of a new resort. They're everywhere in Orlando and Las Vegas (my two favorite getaways). Luckily, Michelle saw were this was going and politely explained we were on a tight schedule and there was no way we could work in a tour. Also, another thing that works is telling them you make less than $20,000 a year (they'll avoid you like the plague).

After checking out the hotel room (no big deal a standard hotel room), we walked to a gas station a few yards away and grabbed something small to eat, went back to the hotel room and called it a night.

DAY 2:

A business acquaintance of Michelle's father worked for Disney in some capacity and offered us free admission to MK. I'm not sure if this was legal (by Disney Standards) but we really didn't ask questions. Anyway, he was going to call us that morning and let us know where to meet him. We got up about 7 or 8 and got ready. We were still waiting for him to call at 9. I'm not sure what time he finally called but we managed to watch Regis and Kathy Lee and an old Halloween CHiPS episode before hearing from him.

He told us to meet him in the lobby of the Polynesian resort and he'd take us to MK and get us in free. He asked how quickly we could meet him (notice we spend all morning waiting for him and then he wants us there right away?) We told him fifteen minutes (not knowing any better) but between the traffic, distance to WDW and Michelle's pokiness (where's my cigarettes, I need my sunglasses...) it was more like 35 minutes. Luckily, the night before, the Resort Tour Commando turned us on to a "secret way" into WDW I think it's called the Bee Line or something like it. It helped us avoid the construction-ridden Irlo Bronson Highway anyway.

It was pretty exciting seeing the entrance to WDW and how the signs all turn purple. We made our way to the Polynesian. The Polynesian looked really cool, I love theme places, that's probably why WDW and Vegas fascinate me so much (although they are opposite sides of the coin). I didn't see any of the Disney resorts back in 1979 (I think we stayed at a Days Inn) except for the Contemporary and that's only because the monorail went right through it. I don't remember what we told the guard at the gate but we parked in the Polynesian parking lot (for the whole day as a matter of fact) and went to meet Michelle's father's business acquaintance (or MFBA). He had some actual family members with him and we all went up to the monorail station and caught the monorail to MK.

At the entrance to MK, MFBA did what he has to do to get us in free, we thanked him and entered MK. I really can't find the right words to describe the feeling of walking down Main street seeing Cinderella's castle on the horizon. It's like a transformation, suddenly you're a kid again but you're still a responsible adult, it creates the perfect balance.

We decided to head to Adventureland first (I'm left-handed so I tend to veer that way). First we when through the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse. Michelle wasn't too crazy about the climbing but the view is worth it.

Jungle Cruise was next. I don't think the ride changed since the last time I was there but it was still great. We saw Aladdin and Baloo at the Congoasis but we didn't feel like waiting in line for pictures.

We went to Pirates of the Caribbean next. The crowds were pretty light so there wasn't much of a line. I personally think the nastiest part of the ride is the pirate on the bridge's dirty and hairy leg, it's disgusting and creepy. After the ride we checked out the gift shop where I picked up a life-size glow-in-the-dark skull for my sister (she loved it by the way).

We were hungry by then so we headed to Frontierland and came across the Pecos Bill Café. I believe we both got cheeseburgers and fries but the best part of the restaurant is their "Fixin's Bar" and the best part of the Fixin's bar is that they have fried onions and mushrooms plus any other kind of thing you'd want on a burger. I think the total for a burger fries and soda came to just under $10 which I didn't think was too bad for WDW. The seating area was huge as well, we had no problem finding a seat.

After lunch we decided to go to Splash Mountain. Michelle told me she went on this ride with her dad a few years before and they had no idea the drop was coming. We waited in line for about 15 minutes then the line just stopped moving about ten minutes later they announced the ride shut down. We went through rest of the queue area and headed out. It was disappointing but we got over it.

We skipped Big Thunder Mountain (I don't recall exactly why) and headed to Liberty Square. We saw the raft to Tom sawyer Island going over with tons of people packed onto it like cattle. Michelle made a joke about dropping a cigarette onto the raft, we laughed about it and made a mental note to skip a trip to the island.

Haunted Mansion was next up. Not much of a line there either, we were in the portrait room in less than ten minutes. I really need to look carefully next time, I still can't see the guy hanging from the rafters when the lights go out. We were loaded into our doom buggy and off we went. It's amazing how much you remember as a child about things. Even though I had my eyes closed most of the time when I was 8 I could still remember most of the scenes. The creepiest for me is in the hallway with the rattling doorknobs. Although the emaciated dog in the graveyard ALWAYS creeps me out. I amused myself by screaming like a girl whenever those heads popped up in the attic. I don't think Michelle was as amused as I was though. We got the little hunchbacked ghost with the beard in our buggy on the way out (When I was eight it was the tall skeletal guy).

We headed to Fantasyland next. The first ride we came to was "It's a Small World" as we were in line I told Michelle "You know this song will be in our head ALL day" I really don't know what the appeal is for this ride. Why do I ride it? I don't know. Will I ever come to MK and not ride it? Probably not. Was the song in our head the rest of the day? You betcha.

Peter Pan's flight was next. I realized on this ride how useful a black light can be. Almost every dark ride in WDW uses it. I also realized the majority of the rides that were here when I was eight really haven't changed much and you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. It's not like thinking Captain Caveman was an awesome cartoon when you were a kid then you watch it as an adult and realize it stinks. Or how Count Chocula just doesn't taste the same as when you were a kid. Disney doesn't disappoint. The rides at MK retain the same excitement no matter how many times you see it. That was the Epiphany I had anyway.

We thought about Lion King but then realized it wasn't a ride, just a show so we skipped it. Now that it's gone I'll never know what we missed. We did the Snow White ride next. This ride scared me more when I was eight than the Haunted Mansion did. That bug-eyed witch just keeps popping up! Luckily, I wasn't as scared this time. Michelle wanted to get some mouse ears for her friends kids so we checked out the store in Fantasyland that does those. While looking for a restroom we came across one of Cinderella's mice (a girl in a blue dress) by the castle. There was no line so I took a picture of her with Michelle.

I was a little disappointed that both the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride and Mr. Toad's Wild Ride were gone and the line to Winnie the Pooh was quite long so we headed over to Toon Town.

Toon Town was all new to me so it was pretty exciting. I loved the theming through it all. I had a picture taken of me in the car outside of Pete's Garage. We went to Minnie's house and played around and took pictures of Michelle sitting on the sofa and myself pretending to use her sewing machine. It's pretty fun. You can check her messages play with her microwave and see what's in her refrigerator. Then we went to Mickey's house and looked at everything... behind velvet ropes. Now call me crazy but I would think Minnie would be less likely to want people rooting through all her stuff. I figured Mickey's house would be more open. I was a little disappointed in Mickey that day but gained some respect for Minnie. We skipped the meet-and-greet with Mickey (I was afraid I'd say something about what he thinks of his fans)

We went to the County Bounty and did a little shopping. I picked up a stuffed Mushu for my nephew and a stuffed Zazu for myself. It was about 5:30 and Michelle started to get antsy. She wanted to get to Space Mountain before the Not-So Scary Halloween Party started and they kicked us out (I don't recall why we decided not to stay for the party but we didn't).

We headed to Tomorrowland and Space Mountain. There wasn't much of a line and we were on in no time. This ride is great! I wanted to go again but Michelle said didn't want to. We stopped at a gift shop in Tomorrowland and I picked up a postcard... it was two bucks. I asked the cast member if that was the price of a postcard in the future but she wasn't amused (neither was I for that matter, it was such an old person-thing to say).

We started to head on out and were passing the castle right by that statue of Mickey and Walt Disney. There was some kind of show going on in front of the castle, we hung out there for a little bit and listened to the singing then we started down main street. They had started decorating for Halloween and they had an alley off of Main street set up like a pumpkin patch with a bale of hay to sit on for a photo op. A family asked us to take their picture. We obliged on the condition they took one of us as well (that's one of the best things about WDW, you don't feel embarrassed asking that).

We hopped on the monorail and rode it back to the Polynesian, checked out a gift shop and went back to the car. We figured on House of Blues for dinner so we drove to Downtown Disney and made our way to the House of Blues.

Michelle smokes so we requested that section. We were told you could only smoke at the bar or outside. It was a beautiful evening so we decided to eat outside. Great choice! The back looked like some old shack on the bayou our table was on the porch overlooking whatever lake is there. There was a band playing some jazz which wasn't bad. I ordered some gumbo to start with which was pretty good. Michelle had some kind of salmon (which she kept pronouncing as "sall-mon") and I had the Jambalaya. The Jambalaya was great just spicy enough, the plate had cayenne pepper sprinkled around the edge in case I wanted more spice but I left it there. For dessert we split the pecan pie which was a miniature pie about 4 inches in diameter with ice cream and caramel. It was the sweetest thing I ever had. If I'd ordered my own I couldn't have finished it.

By the time we were done eating the sun had gone. We wandered through Downtown Disney for a little bit and decided to head back to the hotel. I'd developed a headache (it may sound stupid but every once in a while I get headaches in places like Museums or amusement parks, I think my eyes get tired from looking at everything) so we stopped at Wal-Mart on the way back and picked up some Ibuprofen and some water (the tap water in Florida tastes like charcoal to me). We pretty much went to sleep as soon as we got back to the room with the intention of going to MGM the next day.

DAY 3

The morning started pretty nice I was up by 7 and woke Michelle up by 8 it looked like we'd make it to MGM around the time it opened. Then Michelle came out of the bathroom and said her stomach didn't feel well, could we wait a little bit until she felt better. To put it bluntly, Michelle had the "squirts". She was convinced it was food poisoning (bad "sall-mon" she said) We waited until about ten and Michelle said she felt a little better and we decided to go to the breakfast buffet the hotel offered and if she felt better we go on to MGM.

The breakfast buffet wasn't spectacular but it was OK. Michelle ate a little, mostly toast, and drank some coffee but she didn't feel any better. I don't remember at what time we decided we wouldn't be able to make it to MGM but eventually we came to that conclusion. This was our last night at the hotel and we needed to be back in Ft. Myers the day after tomorrow because I had a plane to catch at about noon. Our new plan was to let Michelle rest until about 5 or 6 then we'd grab some dinner and go to that Titanic thing, then the next day check out, do MGM and head back to Ft. Myers.

The hotel had a Disney shuttle and I was so tempted to go to MGM without her but I wouldn't have felt right plus she never said "go ahead without me". The only thing near the hotel was a small strip mall and a Kmart, so I checked that stuff out. The rest of my day consisted of doing that, sleeping, watching Saturday afternoon television and hearing more than I ever wanted to know about Michelle's bowels, the day just dragged on. About 6 Michelle decided we should go to Denny's. At Denny's the waitress basically told Michelle she looked like crap and suggested we go to the emergency room and gave us directions.

We drove to the emergency room and they took Michelle's blood pressure, it was dangerously low and they took her in right away. I sat in the waiting room worrying about how she was doing, should I call her parents? How am I going to get home?

About fifteen minutes later they said I could go in. Michelle was in one of the rooms. The nurse said she was seriously dehydrated and we'd have to stay until they filled her with five big bags of Saline solution. Michelle couldn't produce a sample so they had no way of knowing if it was food poisoning (I certainly hope it wasn't because I thought that House of Blues was great all around just don't order the salmon). She laid in bed while the bags slowly dripped into her IV. I read the paper (Payne Stewart's funeral had just happened so there was a huge article about that) and listened to all the other patients being admitted; an old lady fell, might have broken her hip, two kids were farting around and one hit his head on the wall (denting the wall I might add).

Around midnight the last bag of saline solution was empty and Michelle was allowed to leave. We drove back to the hotel... very slowly. Now remember I don't drive, so groggy Michelle drove. Thankfully, no cops pulled us over. I knew Michelle was nervous because I told her a few times to keep both hands on the wheel (the other hand was scratching the back of her head).

DAY 4

Michelle woke up feeling better and we were ready to go by 10. We stopped at an IHOP for breakfast and Michelle told everybody she could about the ordeal in the ER and the bad "sall-mon" at the House of Blues. About an hour later we were in the MGM parking lot. We thought since Michelle was still tired from yesterday we'd rent a wheelchair so she wouldn't be tired on the drive home.

Michelle had bought tickets for MGM from some place online (remember what I said about Michelle and planning?) so we hopped the tram to the park and went through the turnstiles... and were told the tickets had been used already. I lost it. I told Michelle lets just go forget Disney, forget Orlando, forget everything let's just go back to Ft Myers so I can sulk and wait until my plane took off the next day.

It didn't take much to get me out of that mood. Since we'd done absolutely nothing the day before I had more than enough money to buy a ticket. We called the woman who sold us the used tickets and left her a nasty message. Then we went to Guest Services and explained our situation. The woman we spoke to (whose name I did not remember but she was more than helpful) obviously couldn't get us into the park for free but let us have a free wheelchair rental and gave us a pass for a ride of our choice (we chose Tower of Terror).

We headed left or I should say I pushed Michelle to the left and the first ride we went to was Star Tours. One of the advantages to Michelle being in the wheelchair was we always got the best seats and got to go through the other line so there was seldom a wait. Star Tours was pretty fun. I liked the boarding video they showed, but the vehicle itself wasn't to Star Wars though. After the ride we checked out the gift shop and I took some pictures of the big props that were outside the ride and Michelle took a picture of me on the speeder bike.

Next we headed on to the Muppet Vision show. First off I love the Muppets. When I was growing up that's all I'd ever watch. The show was pretty funny and the animatronic Statler and Waldorf kicked you-know-what. But I couldn't help being a little disappointed by the attraction. To me a Muppet attraction just screams animatronics. Maybe some kind of dark ride through the Muppet theatre. Or even a show like what the Lion King one at MK was supposed to be like. Anyway the theming around the Muppet theatre was cool and I liked the stock in the gift shop.

We wandered through the New York set and since I couldn't push Michelle through Honey I shrunk the Kids set we looked at it from a distance then we went on the Backlot tour. We got to use the stroller/wheelchair line again. I liked the ride but I would like to see the houses labeled better. I could tell the Golden Girls and Empty Nest houses but none of the others rang a bell, are they just generic houses? On my last trip I thought I saw the Brady Bunch house but I don't know why that would be there. Catastrophe Canyon is cool but I could do without the flames. The heat off that is tremendous.

We worked our way around to the Chinese theatre and noticed the Mulan parade was going on. We took advantage of that and basically walked on the Great Movie Ride. Since we had the wheelchair we were seated in the first row. In the Wild West scene the cowgirl came out and hijacked the tram which was pretty funny she was scaring the kids in the row behind us then she winked at me and called me "sugar". When we got to the "Mummy" scene and she was about to leave the scared Michelle by getting right up in her face and yelling. The ride was pretty cool but the movie montage at the end just seems like filler.

After the Movie ride we headed down Hollywood blvd to the Tower of Terror. Michelle decided that she didn't think her stomach could take the ride so she got some coffee at Rosie's Red Hots and I parked her by a table and went off to go on Tower of Terror by myself.

The pass I had said to go around the back so I went through the gift shop and showed the pass to a female cast member who took me to about four other cast members (in the bellhop uniforms). One of them looked at the pass tore it in two threw it to the floor and ground it with his foot. He looked at me with a smile and said come this way. He asked me why the pass was for two but I was the only one there. I told him my friend got food poisoning. It didn't occur to me until it was to late that I could have grabbed a total stranger on the way out and offered them another ride. We went through a couple different doors that must have been "backstage" and brought me to the loading area. I was sat I the front row and the doors closed.

Tower of Terror was the best. It more than made up for sitting in the hospital for 5 hours the night before. When the ride was over I bought a T-shirt at the gift shop and went to meet Michelle. We went to the villains store and bought a few things, I really liked this store they had plenty of interesting things. It was Halloween and a few of the cast members were dressed like Disney Villains. One guy was dressed as Jafar and scaring small children. After we did some shopping, it was about 5, Michelle still wanted to check out the Titanic exhibit so we left MGM and headed to Downtown Disney.

We stopped at the World of Disney in Downtown Disney and did some last-minute shopping. The store is huge. I pretty much finished all the shopping I needed to do for people and we headed down International Drive to the Titanic exhibit.

The Titanic thing was in the Mercado shopping center (if I remember correctly). It pretty interesting they had scenes from the ship (staircase, third class deck, etc...) what made it most interesting was the people they had dressed up as passengers. Before we went in we were chatting with a servant and a third class passenger. I'd also seen an engineer, the captain and some other people. The tickets each had a name of an actual Titanic passenger and at he end you could look at the master list and finds out if your person was a 1st or 3rd class passenger or crew and whether they lived or died. Michelle's lived, mine died. Anyway, since the exhibit isn't Disney I won't elaborate anymore.

We stopped at a Perkins on the way out of Orlando. I confronted Michelle on her pronunciation of "salmon". She insisted it was because of some kind of dental work she had done and it was physically impossible for her. I told her "Say Ham and eggs". She did. I told her to say "Sam and Eggs". She did. Then I told her to say "Salmon". She did. I'd proved that it wasn't physical so I was happy (I have this problem were it's not so much I have to prove I'm right, it's more of a need to prove someone else is wrong).

After dinner we took the long trip back to Fort Myers. I believe we got in about midnight and went to bed shortly after.

DAY 5

The only exciting thing that happened on this day was I caught my plane went home.

In general, apart from Michelle getting deathly ill, I did enjoy the trip. It is Disney after all. I would do a few things differently on our next trip though; I would make the hotel reservations, we would buy tickets at the gate NOT online, I would have the internet to help in planning, pad an extra day in Orlando just in case someone gets deathly ill from bad sall-mon and most of all. Keep Michelle away from any form of seafood.

Bob Cook

jimbobpetemoss@yahoo.com

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